Dialogue on Facebook between a boy (M) and a girl (D)

D: I will learn Arabic
M: You will need this knowledge in harem
D: Or maybe farce is better?
M: Do you think there are other harems in Iran?
D or Turkish?
M: See also and above. They may have abolished harems, but they are secular.
D: You lived in Germany, maybe you still have German textbooks?
M: Strange, but what, without knowledge of German to teach Arabic is not given?
D: They give, just when you scream German words in the harem is much cooler.

What a husband earns is common, and what a wife earns is her. How to survive?

Isatya: Rejoice that everything her husband earns is not her.

Why are we all on February 14th? Yes, you need to love each other every day, but why not use this day as an occasion for small surprises, confessions? My husband and I are home neighbors, but in honor of the holiday there is a chance to go somewhere for a walk. And maybe the beach will be more festive on this day. And if they walk smiling couples, what’s wrong?
Is lonely offensive? And you can imagine how offensive it is for childless women when on March 8 children lay their mothers cards? How sad is it to stay alone for the New Year, if you want to sit with a large friendly family, next to the tree, and underneath it children ride with new dolls and a steam car? So don’t give up so much bile on 14 February. Let it be celebrated by lovers, on March 8 will congratulate women, on February 23 men, and the rest will not comment on someone's holiday with jealousy and envy, disguised as "I don't need it." With this rejection of other people's holidays, Muslims are trying to ban the New Year's tree, what do we do?

NickKolok: I stand on the asphalt,
NickKolok: in ski clothes.
NickKolok: Do the skies not go?
NickKolok: Am I not under the root?

Armed with an ambulance and a sequel, for example.
This is very important....
Is it to measure the speed of urination?

And we have a colleague, with the sound of whose voice, I want to turn on the fumitox :)

I will try to make a joke in response to:

The question is, who won the first World Cup in Russia, and also unconditionally?
__________________

Who is the USSR?

- A mature question about the upcoming premiere "50 Shades of Grey". And will the gold rule work in this case "book better"?
Of course, the book could even rub his ass.

This is:
I imagine the sanitary technician will laugh at clients that they "do not know the toilet, bathroom and washing machine", so he was invited.

He will definitely laugh when you get caught by the vantaxe pushing the pen forward in the toilet, looking silently at the question why it doesn’t work. And cry in powerless anger, when you will accuse him that you did not warn, say you can not open the hot crane in full, and now you have a burn in the whole body and a flood at the neighbors below. Doctors also laugh, seeing the patient clotting a enema in the ear, dumbs eating or burning junk candles, and other wildlife. And your stupidity in the eyes of admin looks like this.

Arsen: Yesterday, Wikipedia helped me win the dispute of my whole life!
See also: Ogo Oh well? and :)
Arsene: Thro my years of consciousness, I considered borst a type of soup. In school, at the institute, at work, I was written for years that I was like "hatch" and I do not feel the difference. That soup and borscht are absolutely different first dishes
Me: Well, borscht - beetle (Ukrainian) soup.
Yesterday, the same dispute arose with my wife. She turned out to be more literate than the rest of the interlocutors and began to give seemingly reasonable arguments. I almost disconfited.
Arsen: But then she went and drowned) After reading an article from Wikipedia, she returned to the kitchen with the words: "My world has turned over. Tell me what you know about life 😉"

My husband and I sit on the couch and talk. The son of Daniel (4 years old). My husband jokes and bites me in the foot. The further dialogue:
I: Danya, save me, daddy bites like a dog!
Son: (With a peculiar infantile intonation) Now I will help him turn back into a daddy!
I: Do you have a magic stick?
Husband: I have a magic stick... and it once helped me become a dad.

I rarely shave, about every six months. I am decent accordingly. But the hair allows - thick and silky. I shave once every 2-3 weeks. Again, the vegetation allows, and the shakes and grey appeared - in general, macho.

And then somehow it coincided, on Friday morning I shaved cleanly and shaved before work briefly. Instead of silver curls to the shoulders - a gray cork. A thick mouth without a beard. My colleagues did not know at first, and then began to ask what happened.

During the weekend, the skate was ripped, plus the choto was ripped both days, on Monday the appearance corresponds. The colleagues breathed with relief - finally a person again, they say.

Mathematical Linguistics and why did we teach in the university under this name Excel?
.............
Mathematical linguistics is a precise humanities science that deals with the built-up of models of languages and their study. The machine is dentistry. And Excel you taught because there were no normal specialists able to teach it.

>>And nothing left of the "mighty"British Empire is only a seamless island...

Some kind of reasoning with six hundred. The Pope of Rome generally has one square kilometer of territory, which does not prevent him from successfully influencing the politics of many states.

No matter what the government pleased, only if the country did not collapse.

This funny incident happened, like, in the railway clinic of Novocherkassk.
Comrade came with his trouble to the proctologist. After the examination of something doubted and to confirm the diagnosis led our hero to ultrasound diagnosis.
Of course, the man went to the proctologist and paid no attention to the ad at the entrance. And there black on white laser printer printed that you need to have a condom with you. It is put on a rectal (simply rectal) sensor, before it is inserted where it needs to be, in order to maintain its sterility.
The man stands, feels, feels uncomfortable, because the doctor of ultrasound diagnostics is a nice woman of the right age.
She raises her eyes, sees a frightened man and says with a smile:
Take a condom and dress up.
The man was surprised (not seeing the announcement) and asked:
Why Why?
The doctor answers:
A stupid question, man.
He mocked something, jumped out of the office and after ten minutes ran in with a condom, a box of candy and a bottle of champagne.
This kind of fun doctor had not experienced for a long time.
Such a breakdown the man has never experienced at all in his life.

News from the 6th House. The Greek pension is 500 euros (40,000 rubles). The pension of Russians is 82 euros (6500 rubles). But help (do not confuse!) Russia to the Greeks. The Russians are delighted...

Hence the question: if he has found another woman, why is he going home?

These are the women! :) They themselves will invent and torture everyone with their suspicions. Did you not think that a man is staying at work only to see you no longer, since you have already got him with your idiotic questions? And he doesn’t need another one like that – one is enough above the roof.

here here :
-
For me, as a person who speaks English, this simple argument is more than fully understood. The question is how to make it understandable for the Russian-speaking reader, who may be completely unaware that "Grey" is both the name of GG, and at the same time the color. I suggest the character to be called Seroj, a pretty elegant calambur gets. Only the author would be good to ask if he is not against such an adaptation).
and ==
Sergey from Urupinsk was adopted by a wealthy family of Serov from Moscow. After becoming a billionaire, he met Moscow University student Natasha Stylagina when she came to him for an interview instead of his friend Katyuki Kanavina.
— — — —
... "You got acquainted with the short content of the new Russian TV series "Burenko from Maslenkin"...

How I "Love" Internet stories on the topic of "Technology or Humanities"! Technicians themselves, as a rule, are called having problems with social adaptation and personal hygiene enikeys in some incomprehensible shell offices, and humanitarian - wonderfully stupid girls, who received a diploma of the first "academie of all sciences", which did not have to pass mathematics. In a normal person, regardless of education and mindset, both types of thinking cause the very same level of surprise "Who at all released this out without a dwarf?!". But the number of people willing to participate in this special Olympics for alternately gifted for some reason never decreases.