bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90525
 03.12.2013
and Micheal:
This is the finish... decided to pump the filmmaker on torrent
Smaryu - the first feast in the distribution - ipišnik Chernigov regional state administration)))))
Someone wanted to fight piracy.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №90524
 03.12.2013
to this:

She corrected half of the correct words to the wrong one, put a three with a minus and signed - "UzhEs".
This is he himself. by JES.

Could we have studied in the same school? We had a temporary Russian language teacher speaking "Need". As I remember now, I someone for ignorance of the Russian language and asked: “Do you need it or not?”and "

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №90523
 03.12.2013
My grandmother told me how she worked on the second largest cattle complex in the USSR. They were headed by Nikolai Petrovich Beauty. The director of the complex left for a week in a business trip leaving him for the chief. Now the stockpile of animal feed has begun to run out. Nikolai Petrovich, not long thinking, sends a telegram to the regional administration "Tobs and cows are not fed. Beauty." The next day, the commission came to see who was doing so.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №90522
 03.12.2013
The phenomenon reflected in the advertisement of Orbit chewing gum is called "booming trade enuresis". What is it? This is the discontinuation of commercial offers, and so bullish that during the release, read, declaration of these, the advertiser loses all remnants of common sense. Roughly speaking, he sucked with such pressure that he threw it to the wall, after which he fell and drowned himself.

It fits 99% of modern advertising.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90521
 03.12.2013
The error message has disappeared. Nothing happens at launch.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №90520
 03.12.2013
Discussions at E1, OAK.
Who made the first car?
YYY: What about tax?
...
ZZZ: Mythical
Kkk: Pff... everyone says so... she earned the podi herself

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90519
 03.12.2013
Here we are the masters. And to raise the industry, develop the economy and just live normally is boring.
= = = = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
So one wise man in Russia has already raised the industry, developed the economy, won the war, gave the country a miracle-weapon, laid the foundations of the space industry.
So he and 60 years after his death continue to be watered with dirt.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90518
 03.12.2013
If you look at a cat for a long time, the cat will start looking at you.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №90517
 03.12.2013
by 111
I missed your huge kitchen.
by 222
by KMM. You said my kitchen is big.
Although I thought the kitchen was medium-sized, but the girls were more visible.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №90516
 02.12.2013
Paradox, but sea pigs, for example, do not swim at all.

A dumb crocodile is not dumber than other relatives

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90515
 02.12.2013
here here :

The xxx:
I had a Russian teacher at school. and temporary. I don’t know where it was stolen from. But somehow, checking the dictatorship of one of the quite literate students, she corrected half the correct words to the wrong one, put a three with a minus and signed - "UzhEs".
This is he himself. by JES.

YYYY :
In us, in the praised Soviet times, by the way, the teacher of Russian was replaced by the director, a philologist of education. For the fact that I dared to correct her mistake on the board, she put a record in my diary (literally): "Dear parents, your daughter is systematically holding on to the lesson." This was my favorite recording with my ancestors.

and...

He moved from a regular school to a lyceum (then still) in connection with moving to another city.
At the end of the year, I was discharged for failure in algebra. In fact, I knew the subject, but I was a witness to how the director told the algebraic that I could silence her with my knowledge of the belt (and in the past school we were drawn directly to such subjects and it was simply impossible not to know them). And then it happened... What is not control, then I have an assessment- "par", with the attribute "the decision must be different".
That is, she found a reason: I decided faster, using other methods, that she was wildly angry, and that the answer came together - she wasn't worried. And you say...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №90514
 02.12.2013
xxx: he told her on the penis - the type of how this skin is called by science and the fist on which it holds, etc.
Was it showing?! to
xxx: I don't know)))) but this fool so deeply replied to him "so this is what the phrase "to take under usdce" means, and I don't know it";

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №90513
 02.12.2013
From the Chinese lunar rover:
The name for the lunar spacecraft was chosen by the results of Internet voting. Yutu, according to Chinese mythology, is the name of a girl named Chanye, who drank magic pills and flew to the moon with a pet to become a goddess.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №90512
 02.12.2013
to this:

Portugal: Yes, scandalized with this torch to the whole world...

Beyonce: It is exactly. As the saying goes, “They are worn like a fool with a written bag.”

You are strange people: there are no Olympics - "Well who will go to us", "where does the government look", "we are again like lohi", there is an Olympics - again nights.

At least once, say to yourself quietly at night under your pillow: “Yes, we are the largest country in the world, and we will shadow this façade through the space, and through the Baikal, and through the whole country, and through the same percentage of sea that jammes with façades on the shade. And X%Y who will repeat it". Yes, we are precisely the people whose unpredictability still balances all Western calculation and Eastern deception. Yes, we are precisely the country where at the same table in the same family can drink vodka Orthodox, Muslims, Catholics, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Old Orthodox and atheists, but at the same time to argue about the secret of Stradivari violins.
We have one problem: we don’t trust the government and it doesn’t trust us.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90511
 02.12.2013
In 1960, the eighth Winter Olympics took place in Squaw Valley, California.
California, I will repeat again.
===
Well, why, as a kind of shit, a model for imitation, and as in Germany the minimum hourly salary of 8.5 euros - no shit to repeat?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №90510
 02.12.2013
You are a Dalai Lama!
No, I am an extravagant person.
Dema: You were an extravagant person when you arrived at the Oktoberfest in a T-34 T-shirt with the inscription “To Berlin!” But to drink vodka in the Amsterdam cafe with grass and think that then the roof will not break could only dalpyop!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №90509
 02.12.2013
Real 3D design announcement.

A secret community of anonymous designers in the enclosure offers to join secret style solutions. The followers of our training are capable of:
transform the desert into Eden (landscape design);
- shelter in a business center or casino (exterior design - residential, non-residential houses);
- Khrushchev in royal apartments (interior design - office, apartment, restaurant, bar, cafe, country house, hotel, club, etc.)) ;
- and other advanced chips (3D objects, furniture modeling).
Do you think we are crawling? And the Nifiga! The company ****, tel. and ***.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90508
 02.12.2013
@AlmondRocha
Who invented this at all: the year of the horse, the year of the dragon... Why not the year of the barley farce? A year of strawberries? Or, for example, the Year of the Thai Prostitute?
by PixieSlasher
@AlmondRocha hi, I am Andrew, I was born in the year of farsa, according to the horoscope - a prostitute-enot. Do you think the stars are kind to me?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №90507
 02.12.2013
by Lol_icon
There is Warcraft. There you play as the commander-in-chief of the armies of the fantasy world, there are orcs, elves, nerds, you direct troops and repair bases with shells.
There is Starcraft. There you play as the commander-in-chief of the armies of the distant space. There are Earthans, prototypes and mirrors. You are sending troops and rebuilding bases.
And there is Minecraft. It happens - where, you command no one, there is no one, and in general: you are a robbery, you manage everything yourself.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №90506
 02.12.2013
Recently, he witnessed a mind-blowing conversation of a father with his little son (year 4 patsanu).
I go into the dressing room of a sports club, there is a almost dressed dad and a slowly dressing son. I went in when the father, with a fairly well-set voice of a storyteller, said to his son:
"Shoes *pause* consists of..."
I got all the mind, I think this is a folder that is good, everything is told to the son, now it will probably turn to the foundations of the shoe industry...
After a pause, the man ends:
"... and not at all!"

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