bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №106134
 30.11.2014
National characteristics of trade.
Only in Russia, to sell out excess goods, they do not reduce it, but raise prices! Buyers are afraid that they will grow even more, and shed the goods from the shelves!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106133
 30.11.2014
I continue :
Imagine what it feels like when you wash alone in your bathroom, and suddenly someone sneezes behind your back. I thought I would drown the cat right there!

I am surprised by such owners. As a hostess of tails with extensive experience, I can say: any sudden choking, sneezing, coughing, choking, a mysterious whisper, a whisper of half, a laughing soul and so on. In an empty house, they are typically attributed to cats. Cats seem to think of their owners.
Everyone is calm. A disappointed and embarrassed ghost is removed into the fog.

The biggest crash in my life. I go into the bathroom and I hear someone whispering in the kitchen. I say loudly, "Murzen, pleasant appetite" - I know there is no one in the house except me and the cat. Looking out at the door - a sleeping beast, hearing his name, wanders from the opposite side of the apartment. She was never afraid of anything in her house, but after this incident, she struggled with herself for a long time so as not to stumble her feet on the threshold before entering a dark room.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106132
 30.11.2014
And tell me, please, why when writing a response or comment, you must humiliate the opponent? At the same time, referring to his supposed soc. status, income level, intellectual development, age, gender or any other pattern to remember. Well, if there is nothing to say, then dig up to the obvious signs. I know, it’s not funny, but joking here hasn’t been fashionable.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №106131
 30.11.2014
I liked it. I watched the series with great pleasure. The heroes of the late 1940s. They are constantly drinking vodka from modern bottles (with a "show" on the top and bottom of the bottle), and the script of the magazine "Novosti Cinema", which Petrov studies at the cinema studio, is printed on the computer: especially the title "Thank you Comrade Stalin for our happy childhood" is thrown, drawn in approximately the 36th size of the font.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106130
 30.11.2014
My mother sometimes worked in the certification commission as a psychiatrist, telling me:

- Tell me who ran under the train in the story"mu"? (They are trolling them)
The cow has left. – gornyy

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106129
 30.11.2014
The Male Logic
to pay a fool who sleeps with everyone in a row only to be payable, for sex - the norm.
To help money a decent woman who sleeps only with you - "all the babies are merchant dolls".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106128
 30.11.2014
How did you become a programmer?
I was a systadmin in one large company, and very often heard the phrase:"the programmer has come, now he will fix everything."
and?
It’s easier to become a programmer in Java than to explain that it’s two different professions.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №106127
 30.11.2014
X: how to save 3 thousand if I am not taken to work for 12 years and for any household business money is not given?
Y: Set up a totalizator in the school. Say that after the lessons there will be a fight between two girls, bet on winning one of them. One of them is to give up for a percentage of the money you earn on the interest. The Profit.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №106126
 30.11.2014
I am surprised by such owners. As a hostess of tails with extensive experience, I can say: any sudden choking, sneezing, coughing, choking, a mysterious whisper, a whisper of half, a laughing soul and so on. In an empty house, they are typically attributed to cats. Cats seem to think of their owners.
Everyone is calm. A disappointed and embarrassed ghost is removed into the fog.

The biggest crash in my life. I go into the bathroom and I hear someone whispering in the kitchen. I say loudly, "Murzen, pleasant appetite" - I know there is no one in the house except me and the cat. Looking out at the door - a sleeping beast, hearing his name, wanders from the opposite side of the apartment. She was never afraid of anything in her house, but after this incident, she struggled with herself for a long time so as not to stumble her feet on the threshold before entering a dark room.
............
My mom called me to the kitchen, but on the way I heard my mom whisper from the other room, “Don’t go there, I heard it too.”

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №106125
 30.11.2014
I answer.
This is the case.....
If a student girl sells herself to an old crocodile because she wants to eat, is she crazy? Do you know what the scholarships are? And what do foreign girls eat who don’t even get enough of this scholarship for notebooks? We have such an education now that teachers on the panel are ready, not that students... Shame should be for men who buy a fresh body cheaply. But they are not ashamed, they are incredibly cool and generally nice. And the girl, yes, she has to eat, not the flowers.
This is the case.....
Yes is foolish.
Here they already proposed to conduct an experiment, I remind you: offer such a student, for the same price to wash dishes, wipe the floor - do homework and look at her reaction. Not very qualified work, not requiring a lot of time yet to be, pay really not a lot, but to eat - enough - tested by those who did not go to prostitutes.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106124
 30.11.2014
I once thought that GPRS in the country was a bad internet. But this summer I spoke with the youths from Donetsk.
The Internet that exists simultaneously with electricity is a good Internet.
And in general, we only cut the light three to four times a week and not more than eight hours.
Water twice an hour a week.
And to the well with the drinking water some miserable one and a half kilometers, and almost 100% that you will return alive.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106123
 29.11.2014
News: "Men are allowed to participate in synchronous swimming competitions.
The only synchronist of Russia, Alexander Maltsov, said that this was the realization of his dream.
I hear the sound, but I don’t know where...

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106122
 29.11.2014
The main and only cockroach in all girls without exception - "the girl does not make the first step. Who put this shit in your head?
___________________________________________________________________

It is like the men themselves and "kill". It is worth giving a signal to a man - to invite somewhere to go, confess in sympathy and so on, then all - you start to communicate with you like a shit. A man does not perceive signs of attention on the part of a woman as you like me, let us try to get closer, suddenly something will work out?", but as "you are my last chance, I agree to everything, you can behave with me as you want, look at me, hide, change, do not spend on me a penny of money, generally wipe out my legs as you want, I will not get anywhere from you anyway". How many times have I already passed this, I am 29 years old, I am not a crocodile, the mortgage for my apartment has already been paid, I earn normally, there are no children, I consider myself not such a bad option to treat me so. And initially, the men to whom I was "picking up" seemed to me quite adequate, but the attitude changed drastically and I should start acting first. And this applies even to those men who themselves initially expressed sympathy for me. So you first drive out the men's cockroaches - that, if a woman makes the first step in a relationship, it doesn't mean that she can't be put into anything, and then give women advice.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106121
 29.11.2014
XXX: I have a sexting :(
YYY: Well... Seasonal it’s good... That means you’re...not counted.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №106120
 29.11.2014
This
You cannot study under the supervision of your husband. And don’t give God, he will personally take you to teach. Except for his cries and your tears, there will be no result. In fact, it is important for him to prove that his wife is a faultless and impasse, that she can’t learn anything, and for her safety, only he will drive, etc.
------------
I think it’s time for you to divorce. and urgent.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106119
 29.11.2014
What is the weather tomorrow? Very badly?
WOW : Yes. You need to know the place.
Q: What are the places?
WOW: The air temperature will reach -32...-37 ° C, in places -37...-42 ° C. Wind west 2-7 meters per second, during the day places up to 12 meters per second
I need to know where -42 with the wind.
XH: O_O

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №106118
 29.11.2014
DerArto: “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” would be a lot more interesting if wealthy people were invited there, asked where they got their money and took money for every wrong answer.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106117
 29.11.2014
To the question of reviving tape for printing machines:

A "rejuvenate" tape is better with glycerin...
The printing paint. Only printing paint. Everything is perfectly black: the tape, the table and the one who applies the paint.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №106116
 29.11.2014
In the shoe factory, a second workshop is lost every morning.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №106115
 29.11.2014
Sophia
The seller transfers property to the buyer or buyer
The Roman
))))))))))))))))))))))))0
slavery is prohibited, so the first option)))

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna