ANDDRONIC Today, 14:56
There was already a movie where a gasterbyter-illegal rotated a harsh male friendship with a crocodile.

K_O_I_L Today at 16:25
Not a gasterbyter-illegal (where is the arbyte there?And soft, plushy, not like everyone else, and because of that does not fit into the traditional society of Cheburecs, suitcases and Cheboxar. The fact that he eventually finds a friend in a stylishly dressed gentleman who smokes a cell phone, works on a strange job and gets acquainted by ads, and then they build a communion with other such egotists and live happily there, shows how truly tolerant society in Russia was until the damn westerns seized the microphone and began to impose their agenda and their complexes.

He made a tank and insulted America. Buying American – strengthened democracy.

About the hotel. In the city of Nikolaev, one year so in 1998 was stopped. Large room of the former hotel. A buffet stands on the shelf:
Chocolate “Alionka”
0.5 bottle of cognac Ay-Petrie
The preservative (one of them)
The reception question is, “What is this?” The answer is “minibar.”

The main methods of treating any diseases with a gynecologist in the panclinic by age:
14 years: "Well a boy will appear - and everything will pass"
20 years: "Well you will be born - and everything will pass"
27 years: "the second one must be born - and everything will pass"
38 years: "well what you go - age, the more you give birth"

Why the man bought a crazy crane

I’m not pretending to be objective, but...
I lived with a woman for 2 years, we will call her "economic". Everything I bought, no matter for myself or for her, was expensive, and I was a tranche. A good example of the first purchase. I asked to buy a good bucket. I walked in the innet, read the reviews, chose, showed her: I went crazy 2,5 thousand, more expensive than 500 can not be worth! We went together, bought for 300, after six months the coverage began to sink. I went to myself, bought for 3,000: a great bowl, you can bake without oil, and you bought a fig.
And so in everything. What I bought for myself, I didn't listen to it, but this is: how much did you buy the phone? 20 is? Well... very annoyed.
In the rest, she was a beautiful woman, smart, beautiful, and we did not break up because of that.
In short, if a woman broke the crystal service, then it is fortunately, and if the man is a granite glass, then it is a scapegoat.

I lived with a woman for 2 years, we will call her "economic". Everything I bought, no matter for myself or for her, was expensive, and I was a tranche.
The barrel just opened up. Most likely, she had not a very rich childhood, she a) used to the need, it is forever, nothing is corrected, even 40 years of full and cloudless life; b) she used to always and in everything rely only on herself. I just had to give her money! And to say - "choose yourself, you know better what to do and what to do!"" She was uncomfortable and even ashamed that someone was buying something for her or for her. Not everyone has had fun since childhood.

xxx: Give me your fitness and corporations

yyy: fitness is really needed only where work is sedentary (offer a free fitness to the loader). However, smart uncles just put a kicker. and voluntary-compulsive corporations to override employees who for some reason do not want to override themselves in the workplace are needed only where working conditions are organized in an idiotic way, which is why employees are always angry.

Urso: Well, your friends are naffy. The jerk went.
Did you see time? What about the "Dinner to the Enemy"?
Urso: I fully support this wisdom.
You eat breakfast yourself. You share your lunch with a friend, and he shares it with you. Give dinner to the enemy. What does the enemy do? Praally is! He gives you dinner. Cut the fist?
Urso: the saying that food requires variation and diversity. There is nothing about moderation.
Urso: So, she’s fucking...

Mr. proud > I always come to work on time only to me.
J@h > Right to all?
Mr. proud > Agah. Imagine I was late for half an hour today (rarely, but sometimes) and still at work before everybody else.
J@h > Yeah, and Nifga you come before?
Mr. proud > Well, you need to be on time.
J@h > Who needs it?
Mr. proud > Blind

We bought a house and we don’t know where to throw the garbage bag. We go looking. We found a large bunch of sludge, in the center of which a pillar with a large inscription: Svalka. We come closer. Under the word Svalka painted the inscription: prohibited, a fine of 1000 rubles.

Oh...

Ollo
You only live in the mode of eating and sleeping.
And others will enjoy increases, hobbies, and other joys of life.

(*the voice of an elephant from the cartoon "38 poppies") Increases what, forgive me?

>>> armed to the teeth of socks..

In my opinion, even just slipping socks with teeth is already a terrible entity.

The morning. I call my home acquaintance. A rough voice:
Oh shit to fuck!
Hello, please call me Olivia.
This is Olya.

straight like a little

Much laughed, imagining a cleaner who was tired of cleaning at work, or a teacher who was tired of checking children’s lessons at work.

There was such a bearded joke about a prostitute and a resort. A man rides to her on the beach, so desperately flirting and is very surprised at the decline of interest on her part. Eventually she gets tired of the annoying caring, she tired of breathing asks him: "Man, who are you working for?" He: "Tocker"
She: "So imagine you come to the resort, go out to the beach, and here again around the machine, machine".

here here :
Sex is a kind of reward, but if you’re a woman, you’re in the jury.

... but to choose it can only from the declared contestants, and also - no one of the participants of the contest can never appear on it.

xxx: a colleague says, she came home empty refrigerator, she cooked eggs, anointed pesto sauce, a piece of parmesan on top - very delicious and ate.
xxx: I would like to answer, e@#%t, I would like such empty refrigerators with parmesan and pesto!

I have a car, I have no friend. I would give him a car, but he also has no rights and no time to study. Work and business are trying to raise. I drive him where I need to. He doesn’t care, and I don’t mind. I will go out of the apartment once more. A friend recently met a girl and turned to them. But the joke is that this beautiful woman calls me today and says, like, on Friday at 18:00 take me to a girlfriend in some ass of the world, then at night I will call and come, take me and take me home. I came up. I said, “Did you not confuse me with anyone? “Am I your driver?” I don’t know how to convey the intonation, but she says to me in a just voice of indignation, “If you don’t know, then I’m actually your friend’s girlfriend!” I answered, “Call a taxi” and put it. She called back a couple of times, but I didn’t get up. My friend hasn’t called yet, but I’m afraid the outcome is easy to predict. He will eat his brain.

Many years ago, I was part of a group of students in Donetsk.

Apparently a pre-graduate practice, I don’t remember exactly.

We were placed in a hotel.

Soon we learned that together with us there stopped a Romanian ensemble of song and dance.

When we found out, we began hiding our jewelry and money.

As it turned out, the Gypsies, learning that students settled with them, also began to hide their jewelry and money.

In Europe, the most frightening picture for a pack of cigarettes has long been found.

Which one?

– €10

The wife went to work and the husband stayed at home. The wife returns home in the evening and sees: the apartment is cleaned, the food is cooked, the underwear is washed and smoothed, the dog is walked out, everything shines and shines. A tired husband lies on the couch while breathing.
The woman, with an exhilarating smile, says:
Well, sir, can we get rid of it?
My husband changed instantly:
Without a problem!