Xxx: It seems that in the 90s there was a popular series about Marianne. So in us one marginal family decided to call her daughter Marianne. In the council barely answered, and Marianne would have died.



Yyy: You know, with the name Zdechli in principle no names will sound good.



Zzzz: Dasztobwy is a good name.

XXX: Continuation about the oligarch-histeric⁠⁠...who I worked as a secretary for almost a year.



In general, the work could have been interesting if the oligarch had not been so hysterical. It looks like an adaptation of "The Devil Wears Prada" of the Russian spill. Of the differences - eternal matyugs + we did not run anywhere, for this there were couriers and drivers. The secretary’s task is to sit in the office 7 days a week from 10 to 10. It is best not to go anywhere, even to the toilet. The schedule is respectively interchangeable. But we didn’t answer the calls at least at night, but his personal assistant was on the line 24/7.





of occupied tasks:



- To arrange for a balloon tour in France (the oligarch rested there with his family).



Looking for lost glasses in France. Everything was done by telephone, but considering that the boss only visited the hottest places, there were no special problems: it was necessary to just call all the stops on the list of movements. In a restaurant, she disappeared and was found.



- Order in Switzerland a platinum clock suspension (the old broke). Long to find out what are the delays and how it is called in French. Whether it was from Switzerland or from Monaco, it was necessary to get a passport for a suitcase that stood like a kia ria. The oligarch forgot this passport in the store, and without it it is not enough.



Find the discs on his porch. Those that were no longer released. Definitely only two. 4 is no longer suitable - I didn't want to overpay. We called all possible sellers and even wrote to the factory. But here is the breakdown: the disks were found, but the guy gave only a set and refused to divide.





In general, for a man who had a dozen cars (including Maybach and Mazerati), several houses (on Rublevka, in Switzerland, in Maya), he was surprisingly greedy. He was always afraid that he would be fooled. Everyone was suspicious, from business partners to the cook. To monitor us, he even installed a camera. Or suddenly we disassemble passies during working hours.



And coffee from the coffee machine employees can not - it was predestined only to the oligarch and his businessmates. Moreover, in the Moscow office, 10 people worked from the force, all the others were on Sakhalin. But our separate task was to chase the office plankton from the royal coffee. Therefore, when the oligarch was absent, and colleagues looked into the reception room with the question "can?“We always answered, ‘Finally!’ Take it with you and put it in your pocket.)





He was also very good at saving. The salaries of secretaries. We had half the official and half the premium. When dismissed, only the official part was paid. This is how a dozen secretaries will be fired in a year - and you can buy new glasses.

I am 17 years old, my first love. Camomile, butterflies and other romantic shit that usually happens in puberty.

And despite the fact that the hormones take down the roof, I realized one thing in my life right away: my safety is my problem. So I immediately worried that by the time of X, I had a condom. So he lay in his pocket and waited for his hour.



What could go wrong?

My mother, unfortunately, a lover of shaking on my personal things finds a condom and the following happens:

1st I am immediately accused of being a prostitute and will end my life on the panel.

2nd Mother goes to the boy’s parents. “Either you give the grandmother and we don’t write a statement, or let your son throw away that prostitute.”



I’ll say so, years later, I understand why the guy’s parents were openly against our relationship after that.

Of course, all relationships are gone. I was classified as a prostitute on all sides, and so I gained a “reputation” solely for my desire to be “safe.”



Not always the actions of parents are adequate, there are parents so frozen that children count days to leave the father's home.

As a result: you should not label the children, sometimes they themselves are very even "enchanted" by the actions of their relatives.

I also have a good memory on my faces. I was 16. I met a girl. After a while, I realized we had met somewhere before. I asked him what school he was in, he said. I am in 197th. It doesn’t coincide... But somehow we didn’t get together and in a month we broke up. At the end of the 10th grade, he began collecting photos for an album. I took a photo from 2nd grade and recognized it among everyone. I decided to call her. Yes, she studied with me until 3rd grade and then we went to different schools.) I was surprised, but I didn’t remember my school days. Another case was - as a child, my friend and I walked through the park, we were stopped by two older boys and picked out the little stuff. After 40 years I came to a new place of work and among the collective one of them was that “the thief.” Not thinking long, I said I remembered everything. He turned away, then approached and apologized for the past, gave me a pack of cigarettes and asked not to tell anyone about the case. Then we made friends with him.



YYY: How evil you are. I remember the guys who tried to print money from me on October 20, 1998, at 15:37, and you remember it 40 years later.



XXX: That is what I am.) This colleague once said - эх, where to get the money to upgrade the car. I reminded him – Go in and into the park, you know how to do it.



Fuck you are toxic.

xxx: I found myself in a hotel, turned on the telephone, and there is a Marvel movie "Shan Chi. The Legend of the Ten Rings. The episode where the protagonist tells a friend that his name is Shan, and she tries to repeat.

The Hero: Shan

My friend: Sean

The Hero: Shan

My friend: Shen

The Hero: Shan

Advertising by Ashan! The channel shows Ashan's advertisement for 5 seconds and then releases the movie.



yyy: Perfectly Integrated Advertising

One man installed a special system to prevent his dog from escaping the site: a fence with sensors and a necklace. The essence of the device is that when approaching the fence, the collar begins to feed. If the dog runs out of the boundaries, it will be hit by a weak current discharge.

Every morning the dog approaches the fence, the collar begins to feed, the dog waits for the sound in the collar, the battery does not sit down and runs away.

XXX: I was called from the rooster. Good day! Comfortable to talk?

And I said, stay on the line, your call is very important to me, and I put a call to hold up... They gave up in three minutes.

No more calls, Tufo Tufo.

When there are 33 boys and 23 girls, this is the perfect combination. My husband and I now have 34, and she has 22. I recently decided to arrange dinner at a restaurant. Crabs, wine and pasta Alfredo. Then they walked around the city, complained to each other, so they reached the subway and went home.

Sex was unforgettable, magical! 10 years ago, when we first met.



YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I drink tea with my wife. She has a romantic mood.

Do you want me to be my wife again? Wedding is better than the first time.

Okay, but you have to get divorced then.

We sit still.

I recently broke up with a girlfriend. 7 years of relationship and I just forgot how to frame the virgins. The cherry on the cake was fat. And today I caught myself in the thought that with my appearance, every step looks and feels crazy and crazy. The appearance decides, no matter how sad it is.



Yyy: There are even more grooves and the podcats will be beautiful, like bowling.

In ignorance it is easier to live, but it is harder to survive.

Our cat guarded a mouse for two nights and finally caught it. Proud and satisfied, he came to his mother’s room, jumped up on the bed and offered her a meal. She, trying not to envy, refuses, “No, no, boy, thank you, eat yourself!” The cat looked at her, then went to the kitchen, placed the mouse on his wardrobe and eaten.

When Frederick the Great inspected the Berlin prison, all the prisoners swore to be innocent, and only one confessed to sitting for the robbery. What will you do here? Friedrich ordered that this robber be immediately thrown out of prison, so that he would not have a bad influence on the decent people gathered here.

I was asked by a Turkish man in Germany. The further dialogue:

Are you Russian?

and yes.

I also have a Russian friend at work.

And this Turk worked as a sanitary in the hospital.

Yes, I am polently surprised (in Germany more than 2 million Russians, some of them probably work in hospitals).

Yes, you know, such a good guy, very polite, always willing to help if anything.

They silenced. After the pause, the Turk resumed the dialogue:

Don’t you know what the term “frog” means?

Xxx: What fucking youth? What about SOPA? There are all kinds of exams, complexes, broken hearts, an uncertain future.

If you go back, go to the kindergarten. He came neither in the morning nor in the morning, ate, played, and slept in the afternoon!!! Careful teachers, good food! Sleep, eat again, play again in what you have invented! If you are lucky, maybe one of the girls will show the ass! In the fucking! And then dinner, home. And tomorrow again!! to

I would like to go back to the time when I was working in the kindergarten.

Do not let God give you a wife!

Once I was about four years old. A new year, my uncle, and my uncle, who we have a common language. I sowed a lamp from the girland, the celebration was under question, my father shook. As a result, I am in the corner, standing, missing. And here comes my savior, uncle! He asked why, for how long. He said, “Say, forgive me, Uncle Toll, I will not be there anymore. You can walk around the apartment.” I said everything as asked!
He went out, happy, eaten, to meet his father. He looks harshly, clarifies from which I am not in the corner? The guy was obedient, I explain that he apologized to his uncle, he felt upset and let go.
A few minutes later I stood with my uncle both in the corner, he in one, and I in the other. My uncle was nine.

The first date.
She said, “The main thing is not to let him know that I have children.”
Will I order a dessert?
If you want a dessert, eat vegetables first.

xxx: Ten years ago, at work, they were discussing who would want what superpower. I chose not to need sleep. With each year, the desire to have such a super power only strengthens.



With this superpower, you can free up a third of your life. But wish you a couple of millions of dollars and you will free two-thirds of your life by just giving up your job.

Well, as I said below, the teleport is really imba. You still free up the time spent on the road.



zzz: Imagine what imba this ability is for couriers)



XXX is a man. He is given a teleport, freedom from sleep, and he first thinks how well he will work as a courier.

At the previous job in the other department, a girl worked alone. Thin one, and also with a tail, in jeans, and that’s all. I like that look, but I didn’t communicate with her. I knew she was there, and that was all.

Once in the dining room happened. I came a little later, took the only free table, I sat down, I ate, I didn’t touch anyone. Here she comes. I was late, there was only a free place in front of me. She asked for my desk, but I did not refuse. At first she was somewhat weird and ate slowly, but then we talked, and it turned out that we even had some common interests. Then we walked a little after work, and the next day agreed to sit in the cafe.

Okay, she came there, settled, and here she came. Later, I guessed it was her. At a full combat parade, with bright lips, lengthy nails, with a fierce push-up and huge heels, from which she almost fell. In the right dress and with the right hair. In short, ugly, unnatural, vulgar and provocative. I recognized her by her voice, but not immediately. Very surprised. Well, we sat down and talked.

I chose the coffee by chance. There you could order a delicious pizza with sauce from fermented Habanero. I warned her that the pizza was spicy but tasty. She said she also loves spicy, and I definitely ordered this pizza. Maybe it’s because we started communicating very easily and I quickly started trusting her.

In general, we talked for another 20 minutes, brought us a pizza, and I started to chew it with pleasure. She ate one piece, seemingly somewhat insecure for the second. And I sit happy, eat, sometimes I say something. I look at her, and her whole face is red, her pupils are narrow, her hands tremble, and her eyes are filled with tears. And here it broke. Soup, tears, saliva and that’s all. The body flowed abundantly, the eyelids grabbed one eye, she tried to fix them, wrapped herself in the closed eye with a nail, began to give her voice, and she became even worse. In short, this was already the third “image”, if you can say so.

I, after a second stupor, understood what it was, quickly went to the box office and ordered a large portion of ice cream. Fortunately, the coffee worker also understood it.

In general, somehow brought this sufferer into feelings, fed ice cream, ate pizza, watched, and she tries to squeeze out on her heels. On the road, he is still stumbling, almost falling. It turns out that at that moment she understood how I see her now and she was terribly upset.

I followed her and led her home. Their own. Because he was closer. There already insisted that she went to the shower and washed off all the combat color. Then we talked to her. It turned out, I liked her very much, and she wanted to make a good impression on me, attracted a girlfriend, and together they painted her so. Well, the most sharp thing she has eaten in her life before this is the red wing and wings from the KFS. But she wanted to show that we have similar tastes in food. I told her that in the form in which she appears daily at work, I like her straight much more, and the common interests with us and without spicy food will be found.

In the morning, I was awakened by a loud sound from the toilet. Because spicy food, I remember, burns twice.

In general, we have been married for 7 years, and the history of our acquaintance without laughter we do not remember. We’re sitting here now, eating pizza, but we’re already having a hallapeno. I look at her, and this is not the girl at work, but an ancient paleozoic earthquake from Lake Loch Ness. On the clock, or three are written, or the hour is fifteen.