<bud> What you want to pull with one hand, just pull it at a speed of 340 m / s.

Discussion of the price list of an erotic massage salon with the owner of a similar institution. The screen is placed on the pickup. The last line in the price - "Burning the salon (without staff) - 5 000 000 r.
and greetings! Why don’t you still have that position in the prize?
LOL, who is that creative?
I don't know, reference from Picaboo
c) I do not have to. I am afraid of my neighbors and residents.
(i) And I’m even afraid to guess how they got this service in price. This is "no staff"
The price of the question decides everything.
(i) 30 lam for everything, including the salon, or can you choose separately?
(c) For 30 - saloon with staff + popcorn and video recording)

If we are doing so well in foreign policy, why is it so bad in the domestic economy?! to

I split up with a girl. Of the common property, we only had a cat that remained with her. Yesterday she brings me a cat home: “Well, take this pudor, it’s every time it’s in my boyfriend’s toothpaste.”
Oh my cat!

The Russian football team (an organization banned in the Russian Federation) has begun a new cycle of training.

Marty, Doc, stop braking, take away the almanacs from him!

About the hints:

And what, here really there are people who the words of a man from the soul "I forgot the towel" perceive as a hint and do not understand how to act? Or just the best topics for shit have not been thrown down and have to work with what is?and :)

The joke:
It was cold, it was all frozen. Turn on the heater. – In general – that was a subtle hint... – Namek understood. You want me to turn it on.

And another one:

The girl calls the guy on the phone and says: D - My parents have gone to the country today, come to me. Q. What will we do with you? D-Hu, let’s drink a bottle of wine. P – And then what? D - Turn on the muscle and turn off the light. P – What will we do next? D – We dance and go to bed. P and what? D – How what? Doing love until morning. P – All, the hint understood. I go out.

"Nike’s self-blowing shoes will cost $720.

Remember the "Monday begins on Saturday":

Later it turned out that self-confident shoes are more expensive than motorcycles and are afraid of dust and dust.

The humidity...

That’s why if she runs around the apartment in one of her pants in the evening without curtains when the light is turned on – so it’s class, super and cool. Why am I so stupid, close the curtains?? to

(The case is happening in Peter, here it is cold and salty)
X: I think I got a cold.
What’s in the house of tablets?
It seems only aspirin and paracetamol
YYY: Is there coffee? You can play the game "collect citramons"

At work, the male and female toilets are separated by a very thin wall and as a result - excellent hearing. The term "rewrite" has a new meaning...

NickDoom the I. P.> What is there to do? They have a discussion of the angels on the needle blade 2.0.
NickDoom the I. P.> Comes one and says the leaves are green. The second begins to scream that the leaves are yellow and red.
NickDoom the I. P.> The first cuts the second mat and says that the leaves are considered only the living, and autumn falling garbage does not belong to the leaves.
NickDoom the I. P.> Comes the third and says that here on the window grows a house flower with red live leaves O_o
NickDoom the I. P.> At the same time, everyone is confident in their own right and the matter of the others, because they mean by the same words not the same as the others.
NickDoom the I. P.> The first speaks about live leaves in the average case, the second and third...
NickDoom the I. P.> By the way, it is necessary to scrap this matter on one resource, which has been suffering from the same disease for a long time, maybe someone even there to the brains... although not, it is already fantastic hopes.

In Taganrog, an inadequate man ran over the roof of his house all night.

For an hour and a half, the police told him to go down.
In Taganrog on the eve at 2:30 a.m. residents of a house located on Greek Street called rescuers and police.
Residents of the jacket were not allowed to sleep by a man who ran on the roof and "behaved inappropriately".
At four o’clock in the morning, the police and rescuers managed to bring the debosher down the climbing stairs.
There are no victims except the morally devastated and sleep deprived neighbors.

The commentary:

So it is Carlson who lives on the roof... Probably the propeller lost, and was searching for it.

About the arrest of the administrator of the "Death Group" allegedly inciting teenagers to suicide.
And will anyone arrest the entire government squad for creating conditions in the country in which adolescents (and adults) do not have a drop of hope for tomorrow?

Having learned about the phone conversation between Putin and Trump, Petro Poroshenko called Lexus and spoke with Obama, Merkel and the President of Kyrgyzstan.

My wife sent me to Ashan, asked to buy a pregnancy test for her and her colleagues at work (here is cheaper). I found, took 7 pieces, put the last on the box. When the cashier came to them, a lovely woman of 60, asked:

Why are you so afraid? Up to 7 pieces!

I’m three, my wife and work.

For a long time I could not understand why I was almost thrown over and people looked so strangely and condemningly: -) So quickly from the store in my 35 years I have never escaped...

A close person swings a knife in the back precisely at the moment when everything is fine and you are not waiting for an asshole. Such to strictly swear naked and not to give a second chance, did not deserve from the first, the pirates.
YYY: I don’t want to bite, I bite.

I go to work through the cemetery in the morning, so 15 minutes faster. Winter, narrow path, as always. I pull my hand out of my pocket, the keys cling to the wrapper and fly out into the wrapper. Right to the grave.

The fullest stupor. At least I want to dig there. But in my head was a thought: I won’t get home without them. Okay, but you are laughing. The thought turns. Shrinking in Shrinking. Here comes a man. And I sit at the grave, breaking the snow and complaining so:



I cannot get home...



And then it came to me what I said, it began to roar. And the man probably won’t go through the cemetery anymore.

Katy: It seems to me that I insult the feelings of believers with my only existence. What should I do?

Basyl: You can change your surname to “God,” then your existence will insult atheists.

Serge: :)))) No-no-no... Atheists are crushing and calming down, and believers are crushing in place.

This story happened to me at 25 years old, when I was pregnant. I am low and thin, so I look younger. As they say, a small dog until the old age of puppies. This is like the 7th! During my pregnancy I was on a bus. When I entered it, there was little people and I even managed to sit down, but with every stop people became more and more. Next to me was a woman 45 years old, she longingly looks around, sees that all the places around are occupied by some old women, she with hope in the eyes turns to me (I want to add that it was winter and I was in a wide coat, so that the belly was not visible) and says: "GIRL, give up, please, grandmother's place, or I am from work, I am very tired." To which I polently answer: “I would, of course, with pleasure, but I can’t, I’m pregnant.” The woman's eyes are made in a half-piece, and she begins to apologize and at the same time slowly rise, which would mean giving up, but here the grandmother who sat behind us (from the contingent of those who are eternally dissatisfied with life, modern youth, etc., short, the grandmother-scandalist) grabs the woman by the sleeve and sits on the entire bus: "Sit, woman, let the girl leave the place, dispersed, like the queen, the whole youth is angry!“To which my neighbor quietly answers, ‘She can’t, she’s pregnant.’ Grandma after a 10-second shock rattles the entire bus: “Who???!!! The girl is pregnant!! And then all got the subject man, before that quietly stood at the door: "You, old man, what kind of girl she is to you, if she is pregnant!"