bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135481
 01.11.2016
When for a few months in your apartment a window was shot from injury, the neighbor's car burned in the night, and on the third floor in the morning found a corpse you begin to suspect that in vain moved to the quiet city of Mytišti.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135480
 01.11.2016
Going is when you are doing something so incredibly cool that you are squeezed by enthusiasm for yourself, and for others you are just a shrinking miserable figure at the monitor.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №135479
 01.11.2016
I went to my relatives in Germany - my wife's sister married to a German (indigenous, present).

When I arrived, I had a stomach disorder. The pills offered by the hosts gave a zero result. Therefore, I had to resort to a folk remedy - vodka with salt. After a while I was frozen (the air conditioner in the car was to blame). Again, "popular medicine" is vodka with pepper. After a while, the knee began to sink, operated a few years ago. The sister’s husband comes, holds a bottle of vodka in his hands and asks, “What will we add this time?”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135478
 01.11.2016
"Why is the morse not thick and lax? Ah, and why him?

Because you are a fool. "This uncle is hardened, cold water is poured out so as not to get sick. No, you can’t get cold right away. You need to get used to it for a long time and exercise gradually. It’s boring, but some people love it because some people like it.”

And about gays at all, you can’t tell if there are few reasons why uncle dresses like a fool. Don’t bother him so much, maybe he’s somewhat scandalous, he’ll start screaming here again. There are a lot of frictions in general, the general recommendation covers everyone at once.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135477
 01.11.2016
Katrin Black's:you throw, on the radio said that athletes who did not go to the Olympics in Rio, money will be given
Marina Shamidanova =-O
Marina Shamidanova: I didn’t drive either.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135476
 01.11.2016
(On free promotional trips on Uber Taxis)
XXX: The method is tried! I got to work today for 0 rubles! ?
Next time leave the gun at home! It will become a habit.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №135475
 01.11.2016
It is digital :)

p.s still in search of a pet, after which you do not need to clean the cacao.

cat + CatGenie automatic cat toilet + automatic cat feeder, which camera photographs the cat at the time of feeding and sends you to the phone to bypass


[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №135474
 01.11.2016
There is a great lifehack for car lovers! If you are tired of receiving fines from cameras, or from haishnikovs, and thus, spending your blood. Just start driving according to the rules! It really works!! I started using them half a year ago, and no fine! Good people are around!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135473
 01.11.2016
Alena: Girls, I thought our family would never be touched, but... yesterday my husband brought a selfie stick!
Alena: Even worse than a selfie stick was his comment to her:
Alena"Look what a crazy thing! I have to shoot!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135472
 01.11.2016
The autumn depression prevents me from taking myself in hand and starting to do something.

Winter sleepiness, spring exacerbation and summer heat are also against this.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135471
 01.11.2016
For work, I regularly go to various castles for a week or two. Typically, citizens from villages and small towns are usually much more willing to answer questions about leisure - and the local theater is not bad, and there is a cinema in the district center (before it, though, half an hour by electric car, but you can also tolerate for a good film), and the district museum is worthy. And in the cities of half a million and more you in the blue eye prove that in this hole it is important nothing to do but drink beer in front of the TV and give birth to children, because what in the castle of entertainment. Well, yes, there is some theater, even prizes at international festivals are taken, but we have never been there, what are we, the esthetics - the theaters to shast?

What is characteristic, if you say the same, you will immediately be called a Moscovite and accused that it was you personally who brought them to the couch and home.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135470
 01.11.2016
On the "radio" shopping center pursue various advertising of shops in it.
Including the advertising of the children's goods store, which occupied the entire floor, and now moved somewhere.
This advertisement begins with a few seconds of children’s laughter without music, words and any background.
On the empty floor are now working on transformation into other shops.
Not knowing that the child has moved, I go up that floor one evening.
The doors open, I see illuminated by a narrow strip of elevator lighting of the forest, some struggles, materials.
There was darkness and a loud child’s laugh.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135469
 01.11.2016
You can think of Halloween as a ragged holiday, but I like to have fun laughing at my fears)) dressed the child with a skeleton and led to the store - the buyers stood aside, the treasurer said no, and the drunk teenagers at the exit asked to take a photo together))

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №135468
 01.11.2016
Igogo #78: What should I do if the prejudice suddenly ends?
There are pharmacies24, shops24
Igogo #78: Yes... there is... But! The size of the needed may not be... by diameter not all prejudices fit me...
Purchase the fingers :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135467
 01.11.2016
In Germany there is no such job as a cashier and a bank.

clearly. That is, every time I go to the commercial bank to remove money from the card, they sit there and talk to pensioners.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135466
 01.11.2016
The authorities of the tropical countries in every way hide the causes of the bloody clashes between these gangs.
Let the better in the world think that because of the control of the drug plantations, they think their government is the best.

In fact, brutal wars are going for the right to supply palm oil to one of the major nations of the Northern Hemisphere.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135465
 01.11.2016
Probably few people know that the first in our country celebrated Halloween no one other than Nikita Sergeevich Khrushchev. This happened exactly 55 years ago. After all, it was on his initiative, approved by the Politburo of the Central Committee of the CPSU, that in the night of 30 to 31 October 1961 the body of Stalin was pulled out of the mausoleum, walked with him on the Red Square, and then immediately buried. That is, they performed a 100% Hallowin and postmodernist performance. The coincidence? I do not think!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135464
 01.11.2016
Modern Germans are like they are arranged: if you don’t know how to ride them, the box will die first.
What if you know?
Then the engine.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135463
 01.11.2016
I’m tired of looking at all these square meters of frozen human skin and searching for answers to the inconvenient questions of children.

I hate people like you. If you see a frost, tell the child that it is a morse. Seeing a gay - tell the child that he is gay. What, because of your larvae now people wear a cloak and do not leave the house? Being in constant fear that your larva will ask a terrible question?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №135462
 01.11.2016
Dialogues in Yandex.Maps
Q: People, are the gauges standing there?
We are standing. Would he want?

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