bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135441
 01.11.2016
Sister today calls, speaks, the director has burned up. This year, our new mayor has been distinguished. Instead of the usual crackdown of the budget, he began to clean everything, paint, roads and sidewalks appeared in the city. And while they were shrouded both from above and from below, he exclaimed an extraordinary tranche on all kinds of hospitals-schools-bridges. The amount received by the director of the Lyceum was pronounced by all, up to two, local channels. He knows why she is so happy, she has recently been in office, and has not had time to distinguish herself, and there were several months before the events with the falling wall. So is Hz. So this labyrinth, instead of a major repair, although for such housing there could be a new to build, with a swimming pool and a stadium, made a cosmetic. But is cool. With mega finties. Among them were megawatts. From which the fire burned! Everything will be destroyed, changed and rebuilt. The brightness. It is crazy, crazy!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135440
 31.10.2016
Newbie67: 12 years ago, my sister was in 7th grade. She wanted to go to school and told her parents that she had stomach pain. Parents strict, “does the stomach hurt? I went to the hospital.”

The appendix was cut off.

Haryaalcar: Has your sister not even admitted her deception under scalpel fear? Maybe it’s working on intelligence now?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135439
 31.10.2016
ReWinD: For that and need ISO, so that the manufacturer does not write about the size of anything with a star (our penis is the largest*)
As long as everyone else is in cold water.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135438
 31.10.2016
Each year, the brigade performed up to 3,5 thousand calls, about 250 operations, of which a quarter - surgical care in maternity homes for bleeding. The 41st department provided consultative and surgical care to patients with acute vascular pathology and was the only outbound brigade of emergency angiochirurgical care in Moscow. The surgeon who was on duty for a day went on calls to the capital hospitals and provided any emergency and scheduled assistance, performing operations wherever there are operational.In July 2016, as part of optimization, the Moscow Department of Health decided to dissolve the department and transfer it to the emergency medical service.

Methodics, talk, no shit, everything is great

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135437
 31.10.2016
Pupyrka_98: I am an evil powerful witch, I call @CTPAX and @y}l{ac!
y}l{ac: @Pupyrka_98 Again write my nick, I will find you and swallow your face, the cattle is a minor.
CTPAX: @y}l{ac this "minor" is 18, if you find her, drop me the address, I also have some punitive fantasies.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135436
 31.10.2016
Children, can I die from the questionable height of the incomplete twenty years of family life with a haubice?

You can and need to entertain each other, however, over time it also acquires a "planned" character: well, it is not so easy to take, explode and drive for a weekend to the neighboring city, and even a good concert tonight is increasingly stumbling into the need to stay at work, urgently finish the house, a parental meeting with the elderly, a control homework with the younger, and other little things in life.

That does not abolish the option on Saturday, when children are in school, sit down to watch the movie, "in the kitchen for evening tea to discuss a recently read book, and other spontaneous joys of life. You just don’t need to perceive them as an obligation, and more so do not need to perceive your desire to arrange for your spouse entertainment as his/her obligation to immediately support this entertainment with all the dust and heat, separating yourself from all other things. After all, you are both adults.

This is a small child if he brought you a rain worm from the street with the words "it's you, daddy" - you need to rejoice, admire and, separated from all other things, engage with a small arrangement of his living space. An adult should understand the phrase "sorry, I’m really very busy" (especially if I’m really busy).

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135435
 31.10.2016
There was a day of breathing on the topic of teenage rebellion against the "unbearable" homework. I’ve probably lived my whole life with this "adolescent". Mom perceives any activity other than scratching the nails under coffee drinks, horrifying oppression. Even when once a month he comes to his grandson and pronounces the sacramental: such a wonderful weather! give a grandson, I walk, it ends in scandal and hysteria. Because it turns out that at this hour she was poorly stuck sitting on the bench and watching the child forge the pebbles. And try not to give, variations on the topic of hysteria from impotent cooking (in the major) will go to a minor, with cries and insults for a lifetime. There are people who are just born with a certain amount of hair, they are small in soul and half-deathed 24 hours a day. It is hard for them to cook pelletry and steep the plate in the dishwasher, they love to be praised unceasingly, on the occasion and without, and if someone nearby does not even breathe as they are comfortable, they will start to melt their legs, because it irritates them, and so they take away valuable energy.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №135434
 31.10.2016
The great actor Vladimir Zeldin has passed away. Remember him...
You’re all shit on any topic.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135433
 31.10.2016
to the car.

zzz: New drivers should be displaced in front of the wall. He succeeded in slowing down – he got the rights. I confused the pedals, sorry.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135432
 31.10.2016
In a country where Halloween is celebrated every day, it makes no sense to celebrate it once a year.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №135431
 31.10.2016
Now that we have detailed the example 2+2=4, take the triple integral of the outer volume of the Clayne bottle for the fixing example.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135430
 31.10.2016
From the Hicks:
The new male contraceptive works, but side effects have caused it to interrupt its trial.

...

For a year, men were given injections of the drug every two months. During this time, four pregnancies were recorded among the partners of the participants in the experiment.

The comments:
black_semargl
These pregnancies on paternity should be checked...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135429
 31.10.2016
In China, two dozen boys gave a girl 20 iPhones 7.
She bought a house for them.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135428
 31.10.2016
We call it "ananas"
And why?
because "and on us it’s damned"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135427
 31.10.2016
Athletes with busts. And swimmers have even more average women. Just athletes when performing, because they are not stupid, put on a strap - they would really hurt if during physical activity they were talking.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135426
 31.10.2016
What is most incomprehensible to me, as an ancient woman: if you earn equally in marriage, why not spend twelve thousand on anything you need without asking for permission from the nudded padishah? For housewives, the problem is understandable, for wives who initially go to work as seducers, it is also natural to bend, but in a normal marriage between two people who married for mutual interest and sympathy, where does this female sacrifice come from?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135425
 31.10.2016
You are such a multifaceted personality!
and yes. Like a glass.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135424
 31.10.2016
There are countries that think and say that they are the most important and that is the United States.
There are countries that think they are also a little big, but they say the main is the United States.
There are countries that put x... on those who think they are the most important and that is Russia.
There are countries that think they are also countries and there are a lot of them.
There is a country that knows what it thinks and that is China.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №135423
 31.10.2016
xxx: I always wanted a piton, because I thought that they do not go to the toilet big, like dogs, cats, but just release fluid, but recently on Animal Planet in the show about snakes the host caught one to show the camera, and from it so much began to fall out (protective reaction)...
p.s still in search of a pet, after which you do not need to clean the cacao.
Yyy: I have a stone on the shelf at home. Eat does not ask, does not blink and is beautiful in appearance.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135422
 31.10.2016
Once I was with my grandmother and we talked about giving a name to a child. The grandmother told me that before, the parents did not break the head, but asked the priest. I remembered one case. Neighbors have twins. My mother usually went to church. The pop (the other troll) asked the date of birth and, polishing the church book with an important look, issued: "Both will be Fucks!"

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