If for the movie Ninja Turtles the main characters were awarded an Oscar, then the statuettes would be given to everyone except Leonardo.

A deep night. You can even say it’s morning. In an hour I need to send the resume by mail, and I still had no horse there. Well, still gathered, did it faster. I decided to read it before sending. I think a prospective employer would not appreciate the inscription "Listening to the Dark Brotherhood" in the column "previous job". And after all, I wrote without a back-thinking, purely on the machine.
YYY: We know it!!! to
zzz: "Why did you quit your previous job?"

Comments to the article on the Hick Times that near a city in the U.S. banned the installation of solar panels because they “kill plants” and “suggest all the energy from the sun”

XXX: Well, it was necessary to ban wholesale and wind turbines, or they can stop the flow of air masses and all suffocate.

YYY: It is right. And the trees can not be planted too much: when the trees roll, there is a wind that ventilates the fertile layer from the soil, from which then the grass does not grow.

ZZZ: I saw no grass growing under the trees!

YYY: It is now. The pines often turn the earth into sand and stones.

Homophobia is the fear that blue people will treat you the way you treat women.

A child is a child??? She is 5 years old??? She lived to 16 years and has not yet learned the simple truth: red - stand, green - go!
Comments are superfluous...
Reader: Now pedestrians don’t even try to stick to the right side, they build on the transition, like a wall on the wall, half pretending to be English, Japanese or Dybala. Although you look, they don’t look like English or Japanese.

- Your resume is impressive and in personal communication you made a huge impression on the director.

You would see me sober.

But what I suffer from is that I have nothing to do in the morning. I go to work on the day, okay. And in the weekend? How about on vacation?"

I get up every day at 5:30-6:00. In the morning, I can start laundry, smooth underwear, generally clean up in the house (the vacuum cleaner is not very noisy, and the clothes and sweaters are generally quiet). I can do sports. I can go for a walk in the park or just on the streets. I can read a book, watch a movie, love a friend. Simply put, in the morning you can do such a bunch of different things that questions arise about the independence of the topicstarter. and :)
Bibop, Roxstedy and Schredder.

I have a man named Cole. The carpet is gold hands, but the education of the class and a half probably. And here finds this Kolya on the way to work a calculator (a decent such Casio calculator)... and during the overdrive he gets it out of his pocket and begins to study.



There are 10 men sitting in the smoker. Here this Cole presses the buttons, takes some example and he has the word "Answer" on the first row of the display, and on the second there is some number. He asks the man sitting next to him:

What does this word mean?

He joked to him:

You can’t see anything, Anonymous.

Oh yeah yes, of course! - says Cole and continues to study the calculator.

The man surprisedly asks the car:

Do you know what an anus is?

The answer:

“Yes, your mother, I didn’t go to school, I know everything, sinus, cosinus, anus...

I brought you flowers, you stupid shit.
What o-o?
You said that actions are more important than words.

We have flowers at work. Every time someone was in a position, he began to bloom. Even before the future mother knew about her pregnancy. At one time, he cried a lot and often. And girls went into the decree as a deficit commodity in Soviet times. A sort of flow began. And then this flower stopped blooming for a long time. During that time, no one has issued a decree.



So passed year two. And today the chief enters the office and, smiling and threatening with a fist, reports "The flower has bloomed! Be confessed! “Who?” Bets at work.

The Wife: Garbage
Not garbage but a police officer
Wife: Police officer in our bathroom, you forgot him

Max: Sometimes I have a desire to give someone a p*da
Max: But then I remember that I’m crawling and I’m being let go.

All Russian literature is built on suffering. Suffers either the author, or the characters, or the reader.

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Where is Masha? I put her here!! to
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Here in China, frogs are eaten, it is from savagery and poverty! - So they are eaten in France - there is a completely different thing, there from the sophistication!

He who deceives in big things is usually accurate in small things. by Igor Marsenik

A challenge for the smartest.

The teacher sat down, got the tickets, the first five students came in, and the process went. By the scream of the examiner we realized that our most worrying expectations were fulfilled. The man turned out to be some serious professor and could not quietly listen to the nonsense of our poor students.
It was a brutal strike! The apophysis came when an unknown evil examiner forced our Katya, a drinking girl from a very distant depth, to write a sinus in a square plus a cosinus in a square. Katya carefully put the word "sinus" on the board with a calligraphic handwriting, surrounding it with the same flat beautiful square.

At that moment, the old man of the group looked into the audience. After evaluating the situation, she returned to the hallway, grabbed me and pushed me into the audience, telling the professor that I really wanted to respond without preparation.

The examiner accordingly sneered and pointed his hand to the chair in front of him. I sat down, picked a ticket, started answering. He opened his eyes:
Take another ticket.

I take. One theory, another one. He checked me for headphones – and I am funny. Let me load:
– Well, tell me about the cosinus theorem – three proofs right now? Yes is. This is this?

And so for an hour. But I even liked it. It was nice to prove something to this man. As a result, the satisfied examiner sat down, got my score and put “excellent.” Then I learned that he didn’t even put more than four girls on the fismat.

Why are you so stupid in your school? The man breathed. What exactly did you forget here?
“We are not stupid,” I replied. We just think differently – creatively. And in general, mathematics for primary school is sometimes more difficult than for higher school.
Is it how? I was surprised by the light.
This is so!

With these words, I went back to the hallway, took a package of books, pulled out the mathematics textbook for the fourth grade, opened where the booklet was.

- Solve this task, - and gave the book to the professor.

He began to read. The conditions are such: from the two shores of a large lake, two boats sail in front of each other. Between them, a man sails from one boat to another. He sails to the boat and turns back. The longer both boats travel, the more the distance of the swimmer is shortened. The distance between the shores, the speed of the boat, the speed of the swimmer. Question: After what time will the swimmer stop?

The uncle looked again at the cover of the textbook, grabbed a sheet and a pencil. He told the whole group to come in and prepare. Everyone ran, selected tickets and sat down, happy, to write down. The man started drawing some icks and games. My tongue was drawn out of diligence.

At first glance, it seemed that if you fold the pieces of the distance from the swimmer to the boats, you can get to the essence, then fold the periods of time, and you will get the right decision. But in fact there were too many calculations on paper, and for half an hour the professor had not yet come to the answer. Then I suggested him:
There is a simple formula: distance divided by speed, we get time. The distance between the shores is given in the task, the speed of the boat - too. Divide the distance by the speed of the boats and find out when they will stop the swimmer – in fifteen minutes.

The teaching cried out:
What about the swimmer?
What is a swimmer? I smiled. Once the boats press the swimmer in fifteen minutes, it does not matter how fast he was. This is just excess data. You see, the task with the star - for the smartest children in the fourth grade!

After that, I picked up my bags and went home, leaving the tired professor with the rest of the students. As I learned later, the exam he took well, he did not put a double. Until the end of the exam, he was in a stupa.

On December 12th, Russian authorities held demonstrations in support of the legalization of the constitution.

At the middle son in school, the teacher of literature offered the boys to travel through Moscow and take a photo near the monuments of Pushkin - for each photo promised 5. They blinded the snowman and gave him the resemblance of a poet.
Now I guess if I’ll put 5 or not.