bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121772
 14.12.2015
The main New Year's tree of the country in Moscow will be decorated with toys and guirls in Soviet style.

I feel like the times are in Soviet style.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №121771
 14.12.2015
<dadv> Do you have severe procrastination attacks?
<alx0> are
<alx0> I will tell you someday
<alx0> not today

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121770
 14.12.2015
The goat Timur grew fat during his life with the tiger Amur. In the short term, they have everything like humans, the goat will start to crawl, and the tiger will go to his mother.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121769
 14.12.2015
From an it-citizen, a forum for humanitarianists has become

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121768
 14.12.2015
The African American...

Why an African American? Why not a citizen of any African country, Canadian, French or German? I had to see a very luxurious black German. There are even Russians with dark skin, let alone a little.
The Russians did not enslave anyone but the Russians. The only bought Negro was acquired by Emperor Peter I, immediately released, baptized and fulfilled all his dreams, which only were in the boy, it is good to monkeys all with the United States

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №121767
 14.12.2015
I love movies made for amateur photography. Here are the students, take their boring life, "Masha, put a pen on the camera" and all that. And here right in front of their eyes suddenly there is an unhealthy disaster like the fall of a meteorite, the landing of aliens or another unknown shit! And instead of dying and shooting it all in a big plan, they are removing their roots! See how frightened Vase is, and Natasha is crying! You are fucking pets! Press the cross and look for the next movie. 

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121766
 14.12.2015
xxx: I think about what to go to Moscow: sapphane, placard, airplane.
Is the motorcycle weak?
XXX is not an option. I'm a nice guy, but I'm a foolish guy - I don't know what to pay for.
Tagged: ahaha

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121765
 14.12.2015
to this:
And I will never forget in the "Back to the Future" by STC a phrase like: "We need one gigavati! “God, a whole jihad!" This is where these people grew up – in the basement?

That you know - such a pronouncement of the word "gigawatt" is in the original, and it is a personal thought of Christopher Lloyd, who worked very seriously on the image of Doc, and due to a bunch of such little things, incredible plastics (sliced from one really existing strange composer) and hypertrophic mimics created now everyone's favorite character.

It is cinematic.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121764
 14.12.2015
Each generation has its own songs. Here my grandmother in her childhood, listening to the International, was convinced that instead of the "international" the human race will rejoice, and that "international" will sing in the mouth of human beings, and that the hymn would seem to her a very delicious song)))))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121763
 14.12.2015
We came to challenge our grandmother for 75 years. One-bedroom apartment, lives alone... As soon as I entered the room, the silk red pants hanging on the luster immediately fell into my eyes!!! They put magnesium, and I look at everything and look at them... Only after a while I learned that it’s ‘for money’ hanging!
I also hanged at home..."

I'm thinking about hanging myself... suddenly it works?

Save God from Feng Shui.
At work, we had one such shit at different corners.
Changes have been waiting for a year, but they are not all.
You need to change your head to start.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №121762
 14.12.2015
I want it very strongly. I have to stand, but I have no strength.
Why not eat? I plan to go out and eat. What interferes with you?
The stomach...
You go through the barrel.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121761
 14.12.2015
Every time you have to come up with a different strategy and stand for five minutes with a raised spoon, like a dragon hiding.
......
Why Why? No seriously? If the child wants to eat, he will eat and ask for supplements. And if he nods and moves the plate away, then it can simply be put aside. First for a while, and if the child did not ask her back - then until the next meal.

[ + 22 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121760
 14.12.2015
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Oil by 35. It has been said that it will not fall below 50. What will now be?

The wolf will not leave us. The beloved of governments will quickly take action and start a war with anyone so that we will not notice anything and be proud of the country. So get a screenshot and be ready to spread everyone on the internet.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №121759
 14.12.2015
In the store, the man loudly told a friend of the seller, how yesterday he went to a large penalty: stopped for excess, at the same time added for the summer tire, unpassed check-up and a small child without a car seat. After listening to the police officer, the granddaughter took out of her pocket a bunch of money, accumulated for candy, and gave it to her grandfather. He barked almost to tears, but in his gray head could never get the thought that he is really risking the life of a girl with such an approach to driving.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121758
 14.12.2015
She’s so stupid that he doesn’t want her anymore.
Oh yeah yeah! She has a chest and 4 sized breasts.
Xh: I’m the gry, she’s clinical. He even changed her name in the phone to "Visela Pisienka".
X: I saw it myself.
Does he accidentally want to break up with her? I need to talk to him immediately.)
XH: Dare to
xh: electricity if he separates with her and you get messed up with her, then don't put me in the jacket every day, that your mosquito boiled and escaped from communicating with her) the second series of THIS I can't stand))

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121757
 14.12.2015
The task: to characterize it without touching your hands and not pushing in the corner.

Pff, elementary: one hussar in front, the other from behind - and at least in unison, though with a phase divergence at an arbitrary angle. Restriction: a husar is required at least 2. Candidate of Technical Sciences.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121756
 13.12.2015
I ordered from a well-known online store. From the comment to the order: "You will call today (vs, 13.12) for confirmation - I am at work and can't say directly what I'm making an order in the online store, please ask questions to which you can answer yes, no."

In 5 minutes, the operator will call.
Do you have delivery from 12 to 18 or from 16 to 00?
...?... A) The second
From 16 to 00?
and yes!
Payment in cash or by card?
Have you read the comments on the order? No one is burning, no one is burning yet.
Yes, I have read everything! Cash or card?
and yes! A subtle hint, but...
What is Yes?? to
I asked him if he could not answer yes or no to this question.
Yes, you can’t answer yes or no.
- (@#$!!) Yes to!
What is Yes?
Okay the first.
First, in cash or by card?
by Naomi!
With cash?
Yes in cash!! to
Thank you, wait for your order!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121755
 13.12.2015
When during breakfast in Cyprus you see the inscription in large letters on the toaster in Russian "meat and cheese in the toaster do not baked!", you understand not only that the Russians have already been here, but that even not you first came to the mind this idea:

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121754
 13.12.2015
The universe holds a competition of the type "Best graduate". They reached the standard competition with tasks, handed out to comrades competitors cards with descriptions of different situations, sent to think, invited back, asked...
One responds, the other, the room is missing. Now it is time for another competitor.
The Leader:
So your answer?
The man looks at the card with a thoughtful eye:
Well, first of all, here’s a mistake, here’s a need for a fifth...

Judging by the reaction of the hall, it was the best performance of all.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121753
 13.12.2015
Why use a password as a primary key when you have a login?
YYY: Why be perverted? The date of birth must be used as the primary key.
Zzzz: Better to be sure
vvv: "You can’t sign up. This floor is already occupied."

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