Daddy, when he was in the fifth grade, in the diary appeared a masterpiece: "Instead of the lesson, he sat on a lustre and threw his giraffes."

The case was so.

In the dressing room of the physical culture put new lustres in boxes (apparently, the repair was planned). Father and a friend instead of going to the class, sat on these boxes and began to be thrown over with the sticks, which were just in the shape of giraffes. At that moment the teacher came in.

Heavy technical support.
Playing late in the evening, I heard a colleague trying to explain something to a grandmother, killed a passage of the phrase:
“If you have a broken whip and it doesn’t smooth, you don’t run into the grid with a complaint and don’t argue with them, right? And if your washing machine doesn’t wash, you don’t call the water channel?
P.S He did not convince his grandmother.

I’m fucking out of this country. On the first channel, in the first time, Malysheva and comrades tell you how to fuck right!

Wife tells about how girls can frame a pair:
Yes, you don’t know how girls change when they see that you’ve paid a little attention to them.
R: They can wrap you around your finger, they can wrap all the money out of you, even if they don’t need you.
M: I know about it.
Q: How do you know?
M: I also had a mom, those moms whose girls are teaching their daughters how to turn men, and those moms whose boys are teaching boys how not to fall on female tricks.
I want a girl.
M: Fuck you, you’re going to be teaching the boy!

I use a credit card. Recently, he began to treat the phrase differently "Card debt is a sacred matter!"

Release of Win8

What a horror. The apples would never do that.

Release of iOS7

Fuck it...

Announcement on the forum:
Where can I repair the notebook and can I repair it at all?? to
Broken in half - tried to make a tablet, but the tablet function is not supported, does not turn on at all, the battery charged from the network connected.
How much will repair cost? The guarantee has not ended.

Deregin: Our comrades living on the 1st floor are going to throw the garbage into the garbage pipeline on the 2nd floor of the elevator!
Deregin: Neither for one nor for the other is paid.

HHH: short, the boss wiped out yesterday =))
He is a Tatar, so, in a conversation with a man, he says: "You do not give up this matter, and then we can kill many things as one rabbit!"
I'm just afraid to imagine a rabbit killing things=)))

Turn on the TV:
Scientists have found out: it turns out cooking salt contains chlorine!
Shut off the TV.

Our school was a warehouse of masterpieces.

Let’s start with the physical culture. It was a small, thin, crooked and chromed man who demonstrated the thesis "I don't like sport and he likes me." But he had a disgusting whisper and a loud voice. Which he spoke all the time “left, left, who steps right!!!” His favorite sport was walking around a circle... He also built a class every lesson and began to broadcast that girls should give birth, for which they would need the right shape of the pelvis. It was very disgusting. Somehow he tried to tell us about hardening. Every morning, at any time of the year, I go out to the balcony and wipe myself in the snow.

Then the historian will take the stage. Fantastically ignorant grandmother with an even more penetrating voice than a bodybuilder.

“Revolutionary Babushkin was shot in Siberia by the Banderists in 1905.” "Fonvizin wrote "Gorre from Madness" because he was a Decembrist" "Spartak lost his uprisings because he could not read Lenin's works." When she wasn’t riding a time machine, she was leading “Basics of State and Law.” I brought an article one day. There was a story of how a boy-gowner struck several people with a tail. I read it out loud and ask – but what do you think, kids, why did he do this? Well, the kids came to life, began to put forward versions... Stephen King would just sit down! No - strictly rejected all of the Time Machinist (this was her underground nickname) - he did it because he did not know the foundations of the state and the law! You will be like that!

However, the teacher of labor and in combination - "Ethics and psychology of family life" also did not lag behind colleagues. The audience went to her lessons with a sense of mystical anticipation - what another masterpiece today will give birth to her brain not burdened with excessive complexities. Her hit was war. We learned how to sew cowards in the event of war (in order, in one way, to drive the potential enemy into the grave), cook the economic borscht in the event of the same war (in order to get those who will survive after contemplation of the cowards) and studied under her leadership the secrets of family life, so that the enemy even in the rear would not have a chance to escape.

Her main phrase was "a girl is adorned with modesty and modesty."

Our parade is decorated by the teacher of literature. She was a foolish and indifferent person, at all. But she taught her subject with such pathos, that the case gave out amazing lashes. For example, “You couldn’t love Onequin! And the cave! And the Chats! And even Vronsky. Here they could be standing here all together – and you can serve Van Damme’s.” Then she fell down on her chair in weakness and said, “Beyeez-du-ho-nooost!” Her ear belonged to a multitude of records in our diaries, such as "I do not want to love Pushkin in any form" or "laughed at human sorrow".

My diary, among other things, was decorated with the inscription "Targeted from combat weapons to the bodies of the parental committee." There was also a “sparking gas cleaner.”

The number of idiots in the world is always constant, and the war of churches is not a struggle for souls, but simply a division of idiots.

The colleague is engaged in a study, in which he conducted a survey of students of the first course of one of Voronezh universities. I distributed the questionnaires, explained how to fill in, no problem with filling. The last question in the questionnaire was: "the area in which you plan to become a specialist ____________". In one of the questionnaires gentle female handwriting in this place was carefully inserted: "Voronezhskaya".

It is difficult to argue with a psychiatrist: you are a thought for him, and he is a diagnosis for you.

I stood yesterday at a stop, next to a very not thin, but very cute girl in a cute shirt with a game nick, server, race, class, clan and more. I decide to get to know, but I do it as always awkwardly: 'hm, and I always thought that the prints are miniature and elegant creatures'... well that the girl with a sense of humor was and instead of beating me, replied laughing 'I was full-con'.

from ZH:

Once upon a time a headless rider.

He said he had forgotten Daisy.

This is the first time Ivanka

The answer has never been found...

From the forum on virtual reality helmets.
Anderslon: I came home from work tired, and there the family is waiting. But you are such
Wear a helmet and go it all off.)

xxx: That's not surprising, because when the old overlay - the sound spreads from top to bottom.
yyy: Naturally, it turns out that the sound is heavier than the air itself. He pulls it down, and in no way can he get up.
zzz: A lamp sound spreads upwards. It is warm, and when it is cold - down!

From the film discussion

klavdi (28 May 2011, 23:29)
The only thing that causes positive emotions is the participation of Brad Pitt,... and that in the middle of the film is killed, and so full of shit!

jahkut (25 September 2011, 11:51)
Klavdi, kill yourself idiot (Why are you such a bear?(I wanted to look at it for a long time, you ruined me everything, thank you very much.

jahkut (9 October 2012, 19:34)
The Fucks! Exactly a year has passed! I’ve forgotten it all, but I read your shit comment again, you’ve ruined my nits again!! to

Give me a piece of chocolate.
Which one?
One of the plates.
Which exactly?
I said one!
Dark chocolate or milk?
and one!! to
and hold.
What you gave me!? to
and Chocolate.
This is not what I wanted. Give me what I want and make a discount for wasting my time.
I will not make a discount. Tell me what you specifically want.
You are a professional! Do you know what kind of chocolate people want?
Everyone wants a different kind of chocolate.
Find a more competent seller. All the good.
and successful searches.