The proposal to expand restrictions on public procurement of foreign medical products does not threaten the health of the population, and in the case of condoms will even help solve demographic problems in the country and will promote accuracy in the choice of sexual partner.

The proposed restriction on the purchase of foreign condoms should not lead to an outbreak of HIV infection.

Shit, she never gave me after all!
Wow: Okay, you need to get your wife, not to train on the weekend in a fast-training day.
Wow: Yesterday I was dealing with my perversions.
Oh yeah wow! More details from this place!
Wow: enters the room in the evening, the face is clever, behind his back something is hidden and dreaming so to me: "Dear, let's go, let's do the perversion"
WOW: I’m already overlooking options in my mind.
Wow: and here she gets a spoonful from behind her back: "Let’s go, eat a spoonful of watermelon!!and "
What am I, not a man? I could not refuse a woman.
The next time you call me the third, I also want a strawberry ;)
Tag: distortions

I came up with a way to check whether time travel is possible. Everything is very simple – you collect a lot of money and hire a staff of scientists. You write the money of the years and so for 1000 ahead and leave a will to your company so that, when the time machine is created, its drawings are delivered in that same day to that room in the evening. If at the end of the day the drawings are not delivered, you can shut down the company.

The commentary:

The idea for urban fantasy: Evil descended from the depths of Hell to Russia
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY

From the depths, it is 5.
— — —
Well, we have such a life that even the deepest depths of hell are at an unattainable height for us.

Electricity was turned off in the office. I go out into the corridor, there is an electrician near the shield. The following dialogue:
Will there be no electricity for a long time?
E: Well, you need to get the wires, clean up, and then...
I: It’s all very interesting, but how much time?
The electrician looks at the clock and then answers me.
A: Without ten or ten.
The curtain!

Thirteen years ago, a cat was taken from a country village. The cat is charming, only now can not tolerate men, he cries on husband and father, and he adores us and his mother. We’re walking around the village today, my mom points to one house and says to my husband, “Here’s our Smoke from this house. Husband: This is the same house from which you should not take cats under any circumstances.)

This is how to solve problems:
I was constantly complaining to my neighbor that her guests were firing my lights.
I bought a box of fifty pieces today.
I wonder if it will last long...

by youth

xxx: Dear Sergey, I was born to play guitar, but recently I plugged my guitar into the guitar processor and instead of the expected JJ, I heard Radio Baltica! Now the hosts of this radio comment on all my solo and grandfather in the morning listening to the anthem. How can I save my career as a legendary guitarist and drive the unfortunate Baltic out of my guitar? Thanks in advance)

In Krasnodar, a criminal case was opened against a 31-year-old local resident who attempted to kill a woman in an elevator. The man is suspected of attempted murder of a 25-year-old girl and illegal gun trafficking. He was prevented by a faulty gun and a power outage.
<xxx> I think this is a guy from the future who came to kill his grandmother
<xxx> about that is what should happen

Paradox: those shouting that Microsoft is beginning to collect user information are not embarrassed by similar Google activities, which it has been conducting for 7 years.

The entrance through magnetic passes. At the end of the day I go out to smoke. I go back with a pack of cigarettes in my hands and put it on the machine. does not allow. So he stood for a minute and a half, until the guards, holding the rust, said: "The young man...

Thinking is so difficult. Therefore, most people prefer to call other fools.

About students

In my life at the Economy Factory at MGU, we had one student-genius. Let us call him Gosh.
Gosha was a natural genius - he had strong deviations in terms of mental development, and a special gift in the form of photographic memory of unlimited volume.
He did, of course, himself - mathematics and the test were a letter for him, and the trouble for a work written without a single mistake, still gave a passing point (the work separated the blat from the non-blat - because you can always prove that you are very literate, but not Pushkin:)

So, at the Gosh exams shone like a star. And his teachers were frankly frightened—for Gosha often went into the offensive where others cowardly pressed their tail, ran where the eyes could look.

The apogee was the scene at one of the general exams, I don't remember what specifically - but the subject was fierce, especially since it was called to take it instead of our lecturer. and зав. He was a well-deserved and even well-known professor in the world.

The next stage - everyone takes tickets, sits down, Gosha draws his hand.
Zero of reaction.
Gashi continues to pull his hand.
Zero of reaction.
Gosha can’t stand, stands up and sits in front of the examiner.
The further dialogue:

by Gosh Ivanov?
and I!! to
Give me a count.
But how? No one had automates. They promised to fight hard!! to
(At this point, the audience is very nervous)
Gosh, let’s take a look. They really promised. And I will. Only me, not me!
You shouldn’t look at me like that, Gosh!

In the store "All for 37 million" brought watches for youth.

M: Why did you buy candy, you are losing weight?
Yes, on a black day.
M: How interesting you "eat at night"named!

Well, look, you damaged your hand, you replaced it with a prothesis. Did you become a robot?
No is!
- Time passed, replaced the second arm, legs, heart, liver. You are still a human being, right?
And yes man.
________________

I read a book about it when I was a child, what was its name? A! The smaragd city! Was it only the Japanese professor who knew the biography of the Iron Tree?

AlCat: I asked Google when the hot water was returned - the internet was turned off. Is the FSB protecting the ZKH from uncomfortable questions?

ML: you get the syrup from the packaging, and on the envelope once 9 large written "A.V.Krivostekov" O_o
Generally, it’s alarming when your food has a name.

Anna Che: But she is now in her 26 famous actress with a bunch of fans and bubbles
Anna Che: And I'm a dull shit, and my only news for today is that the cat has diarrhea

#bus_educational
>>>>>
I forgot something about how it ended. What happens if a passenger car crashes into a passenger car?
>>>>>
There are 3 possible variants:
a) new car (with a bio-toilet)
The result of throwing: breaking in the shit, damaged pneumatic slides
b) the wagon is not very old (the slide pipe comes out on the side at the angle to the vertical)
The result of throwing: the break rolls somewhere near the paths or stuck in a point.
c) Old wagon (under the vertical hole)
The result of the throw: damaged n pieces of spades on the path, significant damage to the wagon.