bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116932
 05.08.2015
I thought it was hard to put me into a stupor, but...
But two grandmothers (one of whom moves with a cradle) carrying a bench. From the sunshine to the tenor, it is strong.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116931
 05.08.2015
From the description of the novelty in the videocat program:

"Improved work of bugs..."

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116930
 04.08.2015
The middle daughter said:
My mom and I were playing at the barber. He was a hairdresser and scratched my hair with nails and then chewed them 8-), and I was a client!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116929
 04.08.2015
In one of the WoW forums
Yes, it’s cool when you set a goal and reach it.
XXX: Do you watch sports TV at all, or what’s in that spirit? Female swimmers - wide shoulders, no buttocks, legs curved in the thighs... but how do they swim? And the runners, especially on long distances - no breasts, weaker as death... but how do they run? And on the skates that ride, and they have legs like a horse, popka just 2 bite of meat... that she bulls can suffocate a large predator... but how do they wear on the stake, right?
XXX: The same picture, guys

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №116928
 04.08.2015
What do you write on Front End?
yyy - on bats and bicycles
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116927
 04.08.2015
Money will not make you happier. I have 50 million now, and I’m just as happy as I was when I was 48. c) Arnold Schwarzenegger

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116926
 04.08.2015
From the music tracker:
really is. This is not Soviet or Soviet. It was necessary to indicate: The Honoured Artist of the British Kingdom, the Laureate of Her Majesty's Prize, the Honourable Worker of English Culture Paul McCartney, accompanied by the vocal-instrumental ensemble "Žuki". Lenon on P. McCartney's poems, musical composition "I Want to Believe in Yesterday ". Applause, comrades and applause

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №116925
 04.08.2015
My wife said she would stay with her parents out of town tomorrow. We live together. I’m thinking what to do while my wife isn’t home.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №116924
 04.08.2015
Doctors-women can be taken in full composition on a yacht around the world in one bikini, a massage worker and a bodybuilder competition. True, and in terms of qualification, things are very and very decent.

Interested, but the name can be known?

Do you have a yacht around the world?
— — —
Are you from Tax or Odessa?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116923
 04.08.2015
A hall full of students and teachers. The speech was given by the Japanese professor Hirosi Ishiguro. Talk about the future of cybersecurity. During the lecture, the question arose about the difference between man and robot. The professor said he wasn’t. A question came out of the room:
How is it? Explain your thought! It is...
Well, look, you damaged your hand, you replaced it with a prothesis. Did you become a robot?
No is!
- Time passed, replaced the second arm, legs, heart, liver. You are still a human being, right?
And yes man.
One body, another third. As a result, you have become a mechanical shell shrouded by the brain in your skull. You are not a robot, right?
No, I am still a human being, rather a cyborg, but still a human being! My brain is mine, and my consciousness is mine.
“But now look, your nerve fibers in the brain have been worn out, and a tiny piece of this fiber has been replaced with an artificial fabric. Did it make you a robot?
The voice loses confidence.
One fiber, the second, third, without violation of the functions of work. Now your brain is made entirely of transplanted artificial materials. Are you still a human?
The audience is silent.
And now I make a full physical copy of your media and do “copy – paste”. Where are you real?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116922
 04.08.2015
What to represent:
I just presented a teleport traffic jamming with a waiting time greater than a road walk.

Davecha stood to pay for a 20-kilometer paid section on the Don track, probably longer than to ride a free parallel.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116921
 04.08.2015
Little Evil: I’m...a bearded, patched rope in a shovel and grinders with outer steel noses, under 2 meters in height, well at 100 kg weight...
Vin4a_da_Leo: with nick Little_evil is charming. No, the truth

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116920
 04.08.2015
A little about the talents:
Agatha Christie's detective novel "Ten Negroes" in the U.S. due to the demands of political correctness that had already arisen at the time, was released under the title "And no one happened" on the last line of the counter. In the very countdown, small Negroes were replaced by small Indians, and then even small soldiers. In British publications, the original name remained until 1985, but then also changed to the American version.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №116919
 04.08.2015
My son got a passport. Everything would be nothing, but in the passport the name is not overflowing. My husband and I are unsuspecting.
Seeing my shock, the son said that he himself asked for such a name.
I show my husband’s passport. He said that when he got his passport in 1994, he also asked to change his surname. My grandfather, it turns out!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116918
 04.08.2015
R – Developer
T – Testing

Q: Is there anyone going to test anything on the 33rd base today?
T is no.
R: Everything
R: Yes or not?
T: not
T: What I do not understand
R: "Yes no" for example this is
T: No well yes.
T: It is simple
R: You’re breaking my Moscow.
T: Testing

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116917
 04.08.2015
I have two younger brothers. One of them, as a teenager, invented a way to get rid of homework, including a fool. Either I depicted “Oh, I don’t know!” or I did so that I could do the most damage possible (so that they’t be ordered anymore). Parents quickly passed through this and under the motto "What to do, since you are stupid and unadapted to difficult work!" they entrusted him with the most dull and tough work - to drag wood (lived in a private house), to scratch iron pans...

The second brother turned out to be white-handed, looking at all this, quickly made conclusions. Until now (and we are all adults) I have not met people who know how to wash dishes faster and better. What do you know about the method of knot and spinner?

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116916
 04.08.2015
So you need:

...
You clean the cherry so carefully.
And the shit did not change, only the left ear fell away.
The last comet in git was three days ago...
-------
Two rules for working on projects:
1st We do not depend on the master, we do not depend on the master.
2nd "Chestnut" is made on a separate branch, on a separate from everything, scuco, branch!
Not to mention that to compromise before starting to work on a cherry blade is like hanging two fingers and should already be a reflex.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116915
 04.08.2015
xxx: maybe, but I have two rules when talking to girls:
You are responsible for who you sleep with.
xxx: the girl brought to sin - bring to orgasm
XXX: and I get enough, and the girls are happy :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116914
 04.08.2015
The world went crazy.
There were courses on how to properly photograph food on Instagram.
The courses. How right. to photograph. Eat...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116913
 04.08.2015
At first, the door of the entrance hanged an announcement that they would turn off the water from July 13th, and did not turn off. When the date was fixed for July 20 and... not turned off again, I was surprised. But when it was corrected from July 28 to August 12, and turned on August 4, I was scared: am I still in Russia?

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