bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116552
 27.07.2015
The heat-sweetening smell in the cabin of the aircraft has captivated me since I was a child. Growing up and learning. The cockpit does not smell like that. It was the smell of blueberry. The intrigue is broken, what to do?

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116551
 27.07.2015
Shortly before the release of the film, Pixels began to fancy old-school games — not so much in terms of the process of the game, as in terms of the history of the video game industry in general. Finally, I went to a movie that went very well. Looking at the bulging cubes and the volume figures composed of them, the whole film whispered: "This is not pixels, it is voxels!... Normal people have not heard of such a thing at all, but I am sitting and I understand that the idea itself was distorted by this. After all, a pixel is a square, an element of a two-dimensional object, and a cube is an element of a three-dimensional object, it is a voxel! And the whole film all objects are voluminous, no one went into a two-dimensional world!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116550
 27.07.2015
A politician who divides a country into two camps must be in a camp.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №116549
 27.07.2015
We take an EKG. The device feeds in the rhythm of the heartbeat. Suddenly the whisper stops - the battery seats.
I am :
All is dead.
I had to see the patient’s face.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116548
 27.07.2015
Girls in note...
How to get married quickly:
1st Put the sofa next to the TV and the socket.
2nd Put a beer next door.
Three Drain the food.
4 is Open the door to the apartment.
5 is to wait.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116547
 27.07.2015
Tell them what they expect to write on dating sites and other resources instead of the standard "Hi, how do you do?"? What do you need to write to indicate that you are ready to communicate?! to
= is
"Hello, how do things?" the phrase is normal (if there are no errors). However, some girls want to get a lot of vicious compliments. Such can be easily identified by the number and content of the photo (chicken butt mushrooms, etc.).) is
If you’ve answered your "Hello", don’t ask "Can you get acquainted?". You will already get to know. You put yourself in the brake. If in the questionnaires the name of both is indicated, it is not worth writing "Hello, I am xxx, but what is your name?"
carefully look at the photos, ask where it was she rested, or on what occasion such a chic bouquet was presented, or did she grow such a beautiful bloom herself. It turns out that you are interested not only in the girl itself, but also in her world.
Do not call for a meeting and do not try to find out the phone in the first messages. may decide that on the first date you will pull into bed and generally maniac some.
Advice: your photo with a cat or dog is a reason to write to you. Start dating, not roaring the crown.
All of Love!
Let’s all hope we finally find a half.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116546
 27.07.2015
<Zayats> There are a lot of companies in Kuban for breeding strawberries, but something is not visible on the shelves, but it is also an ecologically clean beast. Their eggs are sold with delicacies, and meat has not been seen at all.
<Angelofnet> Zayats: The straws can’t just catch up to hit meat. No need to catch the eggs.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116545
 27.07.2015
I see, wandering dogs are very gastronomically attracted to all kinds of fools. Per they have more delicious meat than ordinary people, who do not constantly go to all kinds of landfills, and if they have to visit such a place, then they do not go there alone?
This is one of the most important aspects of the world.
by Tula.
Tulachermet, lower passages In 2002-2005, someone regularly hid from a bunch of kind and harmless dogs in the ATM chamber. I don’t know, I resigned.
It is energy. 2011 to 2012. At the exit from the territory of the prombase, the workers regularly flattered from 3 good and harmless by all kinds of means. With the guard feeding the dogs, several times they barely got to fight.
The Combination Factory. A few months ago. At the parking lot in front of the passengers a few kind and harmless rushed to each car and entering-out of them. And yes, usually these tails are quietly lying in front of the passers... What a bit of money in their dog brains that day came in – I hz... But I barely had time to remove my foot in the car – the teeth were almost knocking on the shoe.

And I think a lot of people working in the industry can give such examples. You, the office residents of business centers, this is not known, apparently...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116544
 27.07.2015
I like to go English.
Sasha: Woow, “Oh, nihuya to myself, my bus!” is not in English

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116543
 27.07.2015
Discussions of the menu of the network "Teramics":
XXX: see, food for айтишников - "iBlin with condensed milk" and "Email with mushrooms in cream".
yyy: iBlin is the sound that a chicken makes when a yoblock falls on the asphalt.
zzz: I am more stressed "Iliya Muromets with a buzz under the fuck"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116542
 27.07.2015
I lived with my future husband in the town. On the day of filing the application to the ZGS decided to note this case, invited a neighbor (a guy of our approximately years, a single) for a tea drink.

The communal kitchen. My husband goes with a cooking cup, I go into the oven to get the ready cake, I burn on the wall and blaspheme: "Now!" Man (with an innocent look, instantly):

Did you call me?! to

The neighbor then said he probably won’t get married, and he has been keeping his promise for five years.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116541
 27.07.2015
We lose weight, try to stick to healthy food.
They went with him to the shopping center on the sidewalk, holding hands. A group of young boys and girls in red, waving flags, among them a huge chicken doll. I immediately guessed - in the shopping center opened KFC, it is their advertising campaign wandering through the streets. They get closer, and my programmer-husband algorithmically pulls me into the bushes, from the procession path.
The promoters shout after us:
Do not run! Wait to!
I am running:
You will make us fat again!! Let us run faster!! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116540
 27.07.2015
Masha: I never understood what the fun of non-alcoholic beer was. Sweat, but no joy

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116539
 27.07.2015
The owner returned to the neighboring country, dropped the stucco, such 15 years later
XHHH: people stood: type, for what was sitting, what was there for the article
To me, not to him. There is not a thunderstorm, but an atlas of mud tattoos.
I must say, I taught it all eight years ago, half of the brain was safely displaced by more important knowledge.
Oh yeah yeah. I am a good girl, I asked, I need to look, remember. I watched. I say: five walks, 158, 161, 162 (theft, robbery, robbery), these are the stars on the knees - the type before the mints on the knees did not become. (In fact, they are purely fanatical in the real sense). And, on the other hand, a poll, but here I’m not sure.
Everyone left, they were afraid.
WOW: I understand that EO is not all isoria.
HHH: You understand right. The areas are small, 4 hundred, and your neighbors can hear. Today we go to the river, parallel course - the grandmother two from the neighboring street. Say, oh, such trouble, such trouble... not enough that Vasya Imyarekov came out of the zone, and also Ilush has a new wife each of the same. And the second: o-dawadada, let the tomatoes be guarded.
WOW WOW WOW!!! I told you, don’t wear clothes, don’t wear them!! to

[ + 21 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116538
 27.07.2015
Ladies and gentlemen.
I had a proposal about dogs, as they say, that the population should be whole and the officials satisfied. Use the experience of developed countries.
In the center of Tokyo, for example, there are no wandering animals at all. In the areas of low-rise buildings there are a few semi-wild cats living in several courtyards. In the temples and parks lives the temple, fed life - all kinds of crows, chopsticks, turtles, foxes. I haven't seen the dog at all, but I don't rule out that they are somewhere.
So the rules:
The owner of the building is subject to a fine.
- for garbage collection containers - fine service service
- for food on the city street (municipal land) - a fine to the citizen
Under such conditions, you understand, life will completely "humanly" die of hunger or migrate outside the city. And no one needs to bother, and there is no additional burden on the municipality.
How will the parties deal with this proposal?


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №116537
 26.07.2015
Now all the undergrown hipstost, considering herself a mega-advanced, is dragging through the camera of the instant photo of Instagram-something-there...
Yes Polaroid is, children, la-ro-id!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116536
 26.07.2015
World Cup of water sports.
Sport channel commentator:... in many countries found men-synchronists...
He had previously been trained in secret.
In the saunas...
In the form of an orgy...

[ + 24 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116535
 26.07.2015
Grother: I’ve always been surprised by the people who have been speaking “therefore” or “therefore” for centuries. In my "Khrushchevka" wall between the toilet and the bathroom I demolished an opening. A brick wall covered with tiles. Open up Peter!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116534
 26.07.2015
Ordinary people, who are not constantly joking about all kinds of landfills, and if you have to visit such a place, then do not go there alone?
......
Are you really a fool, or are you pretending? There should not be such places in the city. Pomoyaka is the same public place, many people go there every day - rubbish is thrown. Do they always get paths gathered like a boss in a MMORPG? Or safeguard the city?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116533
 26.07.2015
She posted a photo of her adult son in a military uniform and signed: “We went to the army.”

I go in a trolleybus, I sit, over me 2 aunts, apparently accidentally met, have not seen for a long time.I am reluctant to hear that one son has a very big boy, how proud she is of them and all that. Killed the phrase:
This is the second time we have recovered in the third class.
That’s where I became interested and in the process learned that the “big boy” is 26 years old!

The most surprising thing is that it is the women who then complain that "the man now shattered"

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