bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №87365
 23.09.2013
I am just very worried when I go to the pharmacy with a prescription from a doctor, because I am afraid that the pharmacist will read something wrong and sell me something wrong, and I eat something wrong and I will get somehow wrong.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87364
 23.09.2013
by Habr

Vilianov: But the voice speaker 5s, frankly, surprised me. Externally, it is almost no different from its predecessor, only larger (in the photo on the left). But behind it there are not two contacts, as in the absolute majority of analogues in devices of any brand, but four! Why so much is unclear.

Ogi: Two contacts transmit the voice to the interlocutor, and two more send it to the NSA.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87363
 23.09.2013
From the comments in my-torrent (!)

Beautifool
from 22.09.2013

Fuck the English textbook!
from 22.09.2013

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №87362
 23.09.2013
Comment on the story of a girl who tries to lose weight and can’t:
X: It was the same. She was confused about weight and food, could not think about anything else, and even cried when trying to do something else, she still thought about food. I came to the point that I stopped drinking, it seemed like I was fat from the water. She was fat but sick. I got a kiss from my mother, and then I thought about what was happening. Now I am fat and happy. Not in happiness.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №87361
 23.09.2013
Have you watched "Mui-43"?
XX: I was shown fragments, I thought I would get bad.
xxx: Listen to how THIS ACTORS could have agreed to appear in "muwey-43".
XXX: It’s all the same!
xxx: it’s the same if Cobson sings "Mom loves".

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87360
 23.09.2013
Okay, I go to sleep, I wake up tomorrow.
YYY: Is it too early?
xxx: just get up... in principle =\

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №87359
 23.09.2013
News on TV. A high-speed race to the top of the Elbrus. Commentary on the topic of damaged weather and wind:
But not all athletes are lucky. A strong wind long hunted on the slope of the joyful American.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №87358
 23.09.2013
This is:

I drive without a car. Recently I got into a small car accident - I had to brake in the detector. The DPS car followed, naturally stopped. Inspector (A): The whole of himself? Can I go to the hospital?
I: No, thank you, it’s okay.
Okay... let’s take a look at your papers.
I was fucking...
2nd (from the car): What, did you decide with us?

— — — —
It’s a pity that you didn’t break up, fool. Because of such wickedness on the road, normal people die, shit.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №87357
 23.09.2013
At two o’clock in the night, the SMS came "Tolyan you sleep".
He did not argue and went to sleep.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №87356
 23.09.2013
Somewhere in the late 1990s found my old missing friend, who turned out to be pop. He came to me and asked me to play. I offered him something like quinoa. to that he replied that faith does not allow him to play games with monsters, i.e. "give me something where people have to be killed."

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87355
 23.09.2013
It is said that at the moment of separation from the helicopter, the desant eye is able to eat the loot.
I remember only the words of the flag: “Today, salagi, I’ll give you the sky,” and the bearer’s blow to the copper, coming out of the frame, I thought I had eaten something.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №87354
 23.09.2013
If I had become the head of the Ministry of Health, the first decree I would have ordered to print on the packaging of medicines, on which side to open so as not to fall on the instructions!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №87353
 23.09.2013
The Chocolate Buttons:
It seemed to me that people were restrained and would not argue, but how I was wrong...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №87352
 23.09.2013
The issue of mentholic divorce.

Previously, it was used to install software. They caught all kinds of computer geniuses, such as the "computer ambulance. help"... On the phone (on the business card) made an order for the installation of a screw, office, nero, etc. The man sounded the bill, received consent and came to the address directly to the assembly.

RomanK: I once tried to catch the mints.Fortunately, all the copies were from MSDN, not compilations. I installed a window and an office. Here, the mentions themselves and disclosed, and since the assemblies from the site were small, and I didn't have time to hack, all copies were with a 30-day limit. The mentions went fucking. On the question:
Did you give it to us then?
There was a simple answer:
- What would you make sure that the wire is a gamma and got a disk with Linux.
He really roasted, gathered clothes, went to the store, bought cognac and went home.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №87351
 23.09.2013
by Christina (14:49) :
I already have you.
I said that you
The fucking?
and max! by 14:51) :
I know (I am Gandalf)
by Christina (14:52) :
Gandalf is useful.
What are you here?! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №87350
 23.09.2013
Yesterday I met a girl with whom I and 10 other guys had a close physical connection at the same time. When we were 6 years old, we took her out of the porch in the kindergarten and kissed her in a row, sometimes even in the lips :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №87349
 23.09.2013
Why do they fight in hockey? Why do basketball players not do this, but play a game? Wouldn’t it be better to watch boxing?
YYY: Why are they fighting in the Restling?! Why do chess players not do this, but play a game? Look at the boxing, shit!
Are you not a drug addict? In hockey, you have to hit the gate, not break all the opponents. Or do I not know something?
Zzzz: You don’t know, go see your football.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87348
 23.09.2013
Discussion of a new puppy
Father (professor of medicine): he doesn’t write at home, he knows his name – he’s just a professor!
Son, student: Dad, is that enough?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №87347
 23.09.2013
Xen knows how to drive in this weather. Probably on the evacuator to Balashima.
yyy: *powered* a proper motorcycle not in the winter - on the evacuator?? to
YYY: I will reveal a little secret. He sat down, started the engine, the first down, went. Try to hold the motorcycle with the rubber side towards the asphalt.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №87346
 23.09.2013
You know if I came back.
Where it is OK.
I would probably again.
To the extent of shit.

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