bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111469
 31.03.2015
~ArchimeD~: fucking like the managers. How loud they are.
~ArchimeD~: Through the headphones
spiritual☭scream: active noise.
spiritual☭scrub: buy it you will not regret. Sometimes they start to make noise.
~ArchimeD~: active noise suppression is to get up and shoe :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №111468
 31.03.2015
YYY: Let’s not be lazy, tell us all your shoe secrets.

XXX: "Here is the shell, needle, thread and hands..." And the head ))))))))))) The whole secret )))

YYY: Tju, this secret I know... I have to be something else.

XXX: Note: for the correct result the shilo must be in the hands...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111467
 31.03.2015
(About living with a foreigner)
I will translate the words
YYY: What are the words?
xxx: yes different, just sometimes lack of home words to communicate. I can’t remember the word swallow. I often get something itching, but I can't say. But maybe not need. But nevertheless. I will not learn this word, and we will live with him all our lives, and he will think that I will never itch.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111466
 31.03.2015
My three-born brother at the age of 4.5 built business plans for the breeding of hamsters on shoes. I was 3 years older and already knew what to wear. It is pity. We also caught bees and tried to convince them to live at our house and bring honey. Everyone was regretted. Honey did not wait. Imho, they were the wrong bees! And even on the old cemetery, which for some reason began to be destroyed, they went to look for treasures. There were burials, I was just sure that in the burials and hiding treasures.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111465
 31.03.2015
The very existence of a higher force, which is not theoretically refuted,
They stand up, as if the pop had taken their fat from them in April.
— — —
You are funny.
> Theoretically not disproved
The entity must first prove its existence, but here is the proof of the entity.
In fact, how are you going to prove the existence of imaginary friends? People after adolescence for this are planted in a yellow house with soft walls and treated with delicious pills.

Poop is harmful, good poop is double harmful. Why is?
Bad pop is disgusting. He creates disorder, promotes his far-right values: domestic violence, domestic violence, chauvinism, intolerance; cultivates superstition, and, in his opinion, correct medieval customs. He is a brake to progress and a hornet of immoral actions.
A good pop serves as an explanation and excuse. It is worth stating that all drunkard drunkards and corruptors are tried, as there is an example of true virtue and humility. And everything, like somehow, is not good to smash the popovsky condition with black paint, out of what they are positive. It is only lies, lies and deceit.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111464
 31.03.2015
The main problem with employment is that you sell your time and you are paid for your work.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №111463
 31.03.2015
My wife's friend has a lonely girl, named Ilona, they still communicate with me from school. She is such a very wretched lady. She has a lot of years, but still in the active search for her Great Love. And with men, I have to say, she doesn’t get somewhat. Although, as I personally think, this is all because the being she considers herself, having two "heights", extremely creative and sublime. And the husband himself, accordingly, is looking for a suitable one, so that he was also an intelligent educated, and not some kind of tram. And with those in Tyumen we have, as usual, tension. Just like the trains. The male attention of Ilona is not delimited, but only here are more and more some rude and unhindered ignorants on her life path, who do not value her high mental level, but only want to use it for their nearby and often low purposes. She lives alone.
And here, when she was almost desperate to cause in herself a spiritual impulse to at least one of her cavalers, she was fortunate to meet a suitable man. And the muse of passion, who has so far vacantly wandered nearby, played with all her colors in her refined and educated soul.
Because this man turned out to be an incredibly cultural and exceptionally diverse enlightened man. And during their meetings he was willing to show her his, often phenomenal, knowledge. According to her, he could easily reason on almost any topic, filled the names of all the Egyptian pharaohs, understood the constellations and dinosaurs, and could hintly name all of Shakespeare's works, as well as Wagner's operas.
Elonka even my confessed that it was the first time she met such a developed and knowledgeable intellectual. In general, I hit, as they say, on the screw of the collar, do not pick up.

And this Saturday, my wife and I went to "Ashan" and there Ilona this with her new caregiver accidentally met. He seemed to be familiar to me, I watched – both! So this is Volodya, the guard from the base, where I put the car! How many years we have already lived in a new apartment, it is all there, a day in two. He himself, speaking among us, is a worker in Cuba, he will not get up again from his chair, he sits all over and discovers crosswords in magazines. Directly pulls a whole package with you and chicks all day. Why, apparently, in dinosaurs, and in pharaohs and understand. The wife wanted to approach them, and I say, okay, don't need to go down to people in vain, just embarrass. Or an unequal hour we break your girlfriend, where will she find such an educated person?
by robertyumen

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №111462
 31.03.2015
My husband is a unique person! For him, all your clothes are the same, and all the outfits are different.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №111461
 31.03.2015
What kind of superpower would you like to have?
YYY: Stop the time!
XXX: What would you do?
YYY: She was sleeping!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111460
 31.03.2015
I’ve never been to the mail, but it’s not easy to get here – I wanted to ask if my package is already there.
I go in, and the whole line turns to me, a man seven at the same time, with such enormous eyes that it reads: "O God, who is this and what does she do here?" And for some reason I immediately imagined that they had been here for an eternity, forgetting that other people existed.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111459
 31.03.2015
The mayor of the neighboring city, now the former: In the last year we built 5 and another 5, about 8 new roads.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111458
 31.03.2015
Do you, Jews, paint eggs on Easter? He was questioning.
No, I answered violently. Not very beautiful.
What are you painting?
and Matsu.
And seriously?
and no.
So what?
Nothing is beautiful.
Absolutely nothing?
Absolutely by.
It is strange, he spoke. Very strange. I did not expect you.
Why exactly from me?
You’re a painter, you can paint something.

by IRAGEO

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111457
 31.03.2015
The case was a few years ago. Then I worked in technical support at the bank. We were engaged in the transfer of customers to new, modern electronic keys (ECPs). And there was a peculiarity - on the "apple" products they did not want to establish themselves. So here is one funny letter from those who came in to support us:
" Dear member of the and support. Tearfully please do not deprive me of the opportunity, for my blood earned and monthly paid you 500 rubles, to use a questionable convenient service called Internet client-bank!!! The fact is that, according to rumors, I have to come to the bank for a gift and get new e-token electronic keys, it seems like this... So, I want you, dear ones, to remind that not everyone has billigates compatible (or windows compatible) computers... Surprised? I’m one of the few (we’re only 60 million) unfortunate people with Apple... For almost 30 years I’ve only used Steve Jobs compatible computers (apple) and I’m terribly happy about it!!! to
In the summer of this year, connecting your "service" spent a month trying to run it on the mac... it succeeded, however... but to repeat the feats – there is neither strength nor desire. So please do not change my keys, never!!! Yes, let it be "a vulnerability" :) My vulnerability!!and "

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №111456
 31.03.2015
Freedom of both the employer and the employee to interrupt the employment relationship at any time without giving reasons. What will he go to court?
— — —
This requirement is insignificant. You can write in the contract at least the requirement to do the cu three times, only to see how you will be defeated by an experienced lawyer.
The fortress law has been abolished.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111455
 31.03.2015
From 4pda comments:
"And before the DRON it was Andrew’s neighbor...."

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №111454
 31.03.2015
Answer to:

[Discussions of Indian militants]
Jimmy_dwarf: No matter what, Bruce Willis did it all cooler, out of his last strength, in a bloody-alcoholic make-up. And the helicopter shot down and came out of the jeep in drift.
Afanasyev: And could he sing and dance? The same thing!
----------

What fucking? Of course can! Didn't anyone watch the last boy Scout?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111453
 31.03.2015
Good morning, this is the website of responses to posts with "sweet"?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №111452
 30.03.2015
Mari: Imagine my today delivered
On the way home he dreamed that our house was burned.
Mari: I cried to him so much (((
Do you believe in these dreams? O_O
Mari: He was in the car!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №111451
 30.03.2015
by Lin! Congratulations on your birthday!
Enjoy us with your masterpieces! All the best for you!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №111450
 30.03.2015
N: Well you remember, I was taken off the mirror in the car. I went to the dealer and ordered. Today a specially trained boy called and broke my brain with a question whose philosophical depth is not easy to grasp.
What side of the mirror is it on?
(I think for a long time.)
with the right.
On the right, which right?
(I think again for a long time.)
Which on the right.
Which of the drivers?
Are you smoking there?
Right to the driver.
A worthy apophage of this dialogue:
We brought the left.
The curtain.

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