bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111669
 04.04.2015
xxx: Pavel, close access to the record in the folder \\Server\Managers\Corporate 2015
Okay, and if not a secret, why? and :)
XX: Yes, they’re photoshopping each other’s photos all day long. The idiots, the mill...

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111668
 04.04.2015
We had one time called, just like in the movie, Aunt Sonya from Odessa and asked her nephew Marina. I replied that she wasn’t here, she was upset, I said that she was wrong, I was mocked, I said that she was waking up the children, she said that I was a whore, that we lived with Marina in a rental apartment and I should call her. I didn’t argue with Aunt Sonja, because she had an incredibly Odessa speech, such as not to play! Listening and enjoying culture.
I have to say that the difference between Tyumen and Odessa is 3 hours, that is, if she called Odessa at 19:00, we had nine evenings. Most of the time she was calling at midnight.
One day, the husband decided to get involved with this topic and took the phone. He said he was a cohabitant of Marina. She is pregnant with him. Aunt Sonja whispered, shrugged her arms and said that in the morning she was flying, it seems, to Nizhnevartovsk (this is what she confused us with!). I don’t know if Marina managed to convince Aunt Sonja that she wasn’t pregnant (although who knows!Only the calls stopped.
If I’m honest, I’m a bit upset about it. :oops:

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111667
 04.04.2015
In school, a physics teacher often said that the correct drawing is already at least half the solution. During his lifetime he has repeatedly been convinced of the correctness of this statement even for areas very far from school physics or geometry.
Well, I’ve already drawn my ass on a piece of paper. What to do next?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №111666
 04.04.2015
by Pussy_ca_at

60% water is a new diet drink. <...> Easy to drink, promotes appetite and good mood. It disturbs consciousness. Composition: water - 60%, preservative (ethyl alcohol) - 40%

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111665
 04.04.2015
Posts in VK
xxx: guys, does anyone have a phone on Android free, I should go for 2-3 days to pursue one app? Anything will suit the new, the better of course, but in principle no difference. I have beer or biscuits.
Yyy: What a thin hop today

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111664
 04.04.2015
Technical support of the provider:
- Hi, such a question, I have the money on the account ended, in the personal office status is "off for non-payment", and the internet is there. Tell me, how long will it be?
and yes. Do you have a router?
and yes.
Always on?
and yes.
- Hmm... You know, we usually only have a few days internet without paying works, but you can do it for a month. Please turn off the router.
Thank you, okay, I will do a good job.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111663
 04.04.2015
What if I put the Ring of Almighty on a member?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111662
 04.04.2015
In school, I asked the priest if he had seen his god. One day he couldn’t stand it, grabbed my ear and cried out, “You, the bastard, have you ever pulled out my ass?” - "neet!" - I said - "H, it is!" This is where my theological education ended." (V. Catherine "The Holy Place")

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111661
 04.04.2015
For lovers of Langley:

Russian is not an ordinary language. And Azzky is complex, with absolutely puzzling illogical grammar with a bunch of incomprehensible exceptions. Prices, suffixes, endings, slopes and slopes are designed to distort the word so that its meaning becomes dark and incomprehensible.

Oh, batenka... I try now Russian-language I study Georgian, so against the backdrop of their afterlogs instead of excuses, growing into a word and eliminating falling endings, plugs that stick to each verb in several pieces - the verbs of movement, for example, depend on the direction to the speaker/from him, up or down and a bunch of factors, subjective and objective indicators ("I love you" and "I love him" - different verbs), versions, contact, some temporary forms and other things, which in the Russian language and near there is no, and also the fact that when squeezed from the roots will remain in the best case there are a couple of letters, which still try to dig in this accumulation (in the worst - the root of the verb in the past and
And the Georgians do nothing, smile and say that the Cartwell language is very simple and in many ways similar to Russian. Yes is.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111660
 04.04.2015
Tagged 16954
— — — —
Inappropriate resumes should not be deleted. They need to be answered "Hi, you are not suitable for us." Using the auto-response function, for example.
And as long as you remove them silently -- so you need to.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111659
 04.04.2015
XXX is the first! The first mosquito killed this year.
Killed by sorrow. Sorry for the mosquito. He is the only.
There is no female. There are no males. He woke up too early. He will die before the others come. the virginity. Nor to talk to you. Not to fuck. Not drinking together.
WOW: And from hopelessness you fly to a man in the hope of communicating... you are him - bz*
Hi my friend! Glad to meet!
A man in response to you in a bloody meal and cries "First of us!".

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

A man gently knocks a mosquito on his shoulder.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111658
 04.04.2015
It is hard to sit on a diet. Everything reminds me of food. I go with my dad in the car.
A: The cold clouds. The Autumn.
I: They are similar to zeppers.
P: or on a shave foam.
I: Or on the cream broken.
P: or on the watt.
I am a ice cream!
P: You will never lose weight.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №111657
 04.04.2015
Born, therefore, a child, a parent from the Svinti family. He created a new family...... and now he wants to impose his leg on our property. Is it fair?! to
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
And you are the one who "switched"; ask.
And in general, than this legal heir is worse than other children of the same father, the fact that the father did not live with him, it was the choice of the father, not his.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111656
 04.04.2015
here here :
-
The stamp in the passport removes a lot of problems by default, and in its absence, you have to do extra body movements.
by ******
And specifically, what problems does the stamp remove? Apart from complexes.
and----
clue: admission to the patient, adopted children, property disputes in inheritance and many others, in which you have to answer the question "and who are you?"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111655
 04.04.2015
Your car should be involved in the program.
Which one?
- Well, or "A car for pumping", or automation. This is lucky.)

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111654
 04.04.2015
They say that the one who has mastered Oracle in perfection can kill a person by the force of the request.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111653
 04.04.2015
Luck comes to everyone, but to the losers it comes when they are asleep.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №111652
 04.04.2015
I recently went on my old "Pradik" from my parents living in Moscow, home to Yaroslavl. In Yaroslavl, near a spare parts store, I see a voting man on the road. I arrived, there was a gastroenterologist. I feel sorry for a man, he is burning, cold for him, in addition to the same evening, about eight o’clock. I think I’ll throw something. I opened the window, “Where are you?” I ask. “Here, on the road, Caralov,” he replies. “Sit down,” I said.
Well, he sat down, the way to Krolovo was close, he threw it, even went to the city itself - well, I think, on the square I will throw, there in the dirt to go through, all will be wiped out... He took where he needed, stopped. He said to me, “Thank you, Daraga!” - and already to the door pen stretches - to go out, that is. And I have a cell phone next to the wristband, it always talks in the bottle. I looked in my eyes, but the phone wasn’t. I tried to remember, maybe I forgot to post? I got into my pocket, no. Yes, I remembered how I put it, the navigator was still charging... A guest from the south noticed my body movements, and became even more energetic to pull out of the seat belt. Something took me. The door was locked, opened (the ring was nearby) - and out of the city. I went to Yaroslavl. I wait until he speaks, maybe he’ll apologize, I don’t know. No, he is silent. I understand everything and he understands everything very well. I walk in absolute silence, I only feel, he looks at me. I think it will rush now, fucking, on me - and drowned, good, the road was rarely free (there are eternal repairs). The pursuit of 150 - a pofig on the chambers, especially the iron horse dirty, there is a figure that you will find out later. My friend stuck in the chair, but no sound. Finally, he said, “Stop, say, be a friend, here.” I ignore it. Here he grabbed the phone, let’s name it, knocking something into the phone in his own way. Fifty miles later he threatened. You don’t know who you contacted, and so on. And then silence. After a few minutes, my phone is ringing again in the glass. We finally stopped near Rostov. He said it was cold, there was nowhere to go, and so on. “Sit down,” I said, “on the back seat.” It’s just the door to get out like I’m on the gas. He will know how to respond to good with evil. His example is other science.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №111651
 04.04.2015
Recently, three hundred deputies reduced their salaries by 10%. 20 million Russians have increased their social benefits by 10%. The budget lost nothing, as the amount coincided.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111650
 04.04.2015
Iran agrees to weak enrichment of uranium

Astrology News: Uranus Agrees to Weak Enrichment of Iran

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna