bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110669
 14.03.2015
Ivanna: Saška, run carefully, you will lose a hundred rubles
Ivanna: the right move, by the way, is to squeeze the bubble into the back pockets
Ivanna: you will attract the eyes of mercantile females
Irene: Oh

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №110668
 14.03.2015
Theoretically :
Have you tried to embrace a child with hysteria? It helps to calm and does not cause pain to the child, unlike the spleen and other inadequate methods.
......................

Either you haven’t seen children, or you have a real hysteria.
The hysteria goes to the viewer. At home you can cross it and leave it alone in the room, it helps well and quickly.
In public places it is worse, there will definitely be a heart-healthy person who will pour oil into the fire with his swallowing, and the child who is beating in convulsions will have to be quickly evacuated to a more deserted place.
Children, like animals in a herd, try to find their place in the family hierarchy, and will fight for it in the ways available to them. It is up to the adults to show them the place.
And if you have seen family, only in American children's films, then I will disappoint you, in life this is not the case.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110667
 14.03.2015
This is:
Black Coat: In the morning in the bus I thought: here is a millimeter-1/1000 meters, or milligrams-1/1000 grams. Then it turns out that a million = 1/1000 "it". A "he" is equivalent to a billion. A billion-1/1000 arda. Therefore, it is equal to a trillion :D
But it is obvious that a trillion is one megaon or a kilogram! Accordingly, we reduce it by one and we get that mega = 1,000,000 = trillions.
Aaaah! Butusov has a song about the triplet. Thus, trilliput is a million ways, or just MegaPut :D
But the triller is not yet translated into the language of numbers :(
______
A friend! You either take it off or tell me where you are taking it. I want that too!!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №110666
 14.03.2015
Comments on some videos:

Krendelyok: What kind of baths are called video?
Ra30R3: U*ban, sir
Barrymore, where is my oatmeal?
In the shoe, sir
Garrisen: Why is it unsalted, Berrymore?
Hate: Because the cat doesn’t hurt you anymore, sir.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110665
 14.03.2015
Interview with Andrey Arshavin:

Andrei: He doesn’t just look at football as a game, as a square. He also analyzes the processes that happen in world football: development, transfer market, tactics.

Reporter: With the square, do you mean the training square?

Andrei: No, I mean the rectangle.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110664
 14.03.2015
[16:56:04] XXX: yesterday at the disco 15 times stretched)
[16:56:11] XXX: before and 10 could not
YYY: Is there a tourist at the disco?
YYY: Or are you with yours?

The day passed...

XXX: I’m going to the gym today
[14:30:49] XXX: in the mouth
YYY: to dance?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110663
 14.03.2015
...
Do you believe in green people?
I lived with them for almost two years in the same barracks.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110662
 14.03.2015
Silv_m> need to be taken urgently (link to avito, to the soap bubble generator machine)
Puma> I don’t know, dangerous
Silv_m> to work, hide in the corner of the user or bosses enters the office, begins to crash, and you "chick" button on the controller, and everywhere soap bubbles, and sounds some sort of retro-disc or psychedelic rock of the 70s, and here is no more problems, comps and work, there is only spring, bubbles, happiness and hairy guys in salmon under acid
Silv_m> hz from where, well, themselves jump out of the dust closet when this starts
Puma> yes, the 70s is the topic. It is surprising that people could be so happy.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110661
 14.03.2015
I had a hysteria in the childhood world when I wept ‘buy, buy’ and my mom just left. Hidden behind the column. No one is hysterical, no one is hysterical. The hysterics need spectators.
----------------------
No is. What you describe is called show and manipulation. When a child has a real hysteria on his spectators - he and in an empty room will run out to complete exhaustion. is verified.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110660
 14.03.2015
I will add about the magazines:
The Young:

To all the book storytellers: Who gives you such stories? Where do you find that? o_o

— — —

In the libraries and grandchildren ;). When I was 15, it was 1988, and my reading card in the central city library weighed half a kilo. And there was nothing more - on TV two programs, in the cinemas for a couple of weeks went the same film, and well, if it was "Phantomas", the newspapers were "Izvestia", "Pravda" and "Komsomolskaya Pravda". The magazines were pure enthusiasm. "Science and Life" (Endless Enthusiasm), "Around the World" with a tiny fantastic story on the pre-last page (it was the cherry blossom at the holiday, which this magazine was undoubtedly then), "The Young Naturalist" and other beautiful windows into the infinite world.
Most of them are libraries. There were anthologies of fiction, collections of works by Dumas, Hugo, Verne, various books - Asimov, Herbert, Iron, and so on to infinity. Most of these books have been translated by artists.

The stories remained in memory. The names are forgotten.

"Technology of youth" The coolest magazine of my childhood. All technical innovations, historical references on any weapons, interesting articles, and a compulsory category of fiction. That’s where I found the diamond of my collection – “Star Kings” by Edmund Hamilton.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110659
 14.03.2015
"Technology of youth" The coolest magazine of my childhood. All technical innovations, historical references on any weapons, interesting articles, and a compulsory category of fiction. That’s where I found the diamond of my collection – “Star Kings” by Edmund Hamilton.
– – – – –
It was the coolest magazine:)) I still keep this publication "Kings" - pages attached subsequently by the stepler:)) I still remember the first macro photography of a drop of water:))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110658
 14.03.2015
But God could have created humans in the image and likeness of a cat...Why did he make two-legged, nonsense?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110657
 14.03.2015
Now we are talking about the former goats.
Girl, and what, sorry, damn, someone should congratulate you at all with some unclear holiday? So, on February 23, you call all your acquaintances and send SMS? If so, I sincerely regret them. Who invented that every more or less familiar body should be congratulated with every more or less suitable holiday? For the new year, your cellular operator will probably be golden on you at all.
I understand my birthday even though I don’t understand it either. On my birthday, I congratulate my husband, parents and brothers/sisters on both sides, best friends (in the number of 4 people). and all. I can write by mood on social networks if there is a sincere desire to congratulate a person and a little time. And I do not expect my holiday exactly the same "at least SMS of two words". I don’t need any compliments or compliments. If I’ve been congratulated, I know it’s from the heart. Do you not mind receiving congratulations on the principle of "so is"?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110656
 14.03.2015
From the discussion of the video with a 9-string electric guitar:

xxx: I have a friend
xxx: started with 6 strings and once every six months adds a string
XXX: This is what I want.
yyy: and therefore will cut off one string from below and become a bassist

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №110655
 14.03.2015
"especially in our time, when cooking, washing and so on are reduced to the pressing of 2 buttons";

Scout, where is it? Where are these, scratched two buttons "Make all the zbs"?

Once pressed - and the apartment shines: no dust, no pebbles, the floor is washed, the windows and mirrors shine, things are all in their places. Two pressed - the underwear itself was sorted, washed, dried and smoothed. Lunch at the table for four. Children gain full autonomy, including infants.
I know! I know! These are the same buttons on the phone: "Vasilius, tomorrow for dinner serve a shift, ragg and fricace, and for dessert a cherry cake", "Martha, there Vitenka broke the vase in the living room - take it off, and pass on to Catherine, so that for a walk his dress warmer".

My grandmother, never get married.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110654
 13.03.2015
No No No No No! Leave childhood friendship in peace. Student relationships too. Because they are beautiful. Don’t think that if you were to go to bed early, everything would be fine. I explained. My childhood friend had a friend. Well, school, sports, books, movies, to walk. Then they separated for many years. We met in 10 years. Naturally in bed. They are like adults!! Well, then she bitterly mourned because there were no feelings left, the sex failed, and the warm memories of childhood are ruined by the thoughts of the sweaty male, in which that wonderful boy grew up...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110653
 13.03.2015
XXX: Diablo 1 for War
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110652
 13.03.2015
As long as the individual has the ability to reproduce, the body of the individual, whether male or female, will strive to fulfill its primary purpose.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
What if I do not want to consider myself a person, and the main purpose I see is to do something good and useful for society as far as I can? I am neither an incubator nor a copier, I have not studied for that, I have read a lot, I have learned a lot again, I have been mistaken, feeling a burning shame, I have been reworking, and I have been lying overnight with my eyes open, turning the task in my head to give birth to children, and to be calmed by the thought that the main purpose has been accomplished.

I can name many authors of discoveries, inventions, works of art, but I have no idea if these authors had children if I did not read specifically the biography. And having children in your system of values is the only criterion.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110651
 13.03.2015
The son of the deputies entered the MGU without passing exams. Everyone would have done so in his place.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110650
 13.03.2015
I haven’t washed my car for a few months. Yesterday I went to the car where I usually go.
tn: The building where the wash was located was demolished. We even managed to arrange a parking place there.
Tn: I realized that the car needs to be washed more often.

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