bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110629
 13.03.2015
A 30-year-old man with a dungeon!! What’s behind this terrible number 30? A feeling? What to expect ?
yyy: I can say nothing about this "terrible" figure and specifically about the feelings. Yesterday, the pressure jumped all night, the knees started to hurt and the back was slightly hurt. I went to the park to feed the pigeons. In the evening I listened to Kadysheva... "the wide river" appears to be a song! I am considering joining the CPF. It seems that there are no particular changes, nothing terrible there, as it turned out, no.)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110628
 13.03.2015
Harmful customer charged all the operators of the online store, comment for delivery: couriers with signs of ARVI, colds, angina do not send to the customer, send only with signs of tropical diseases, plague, black rash

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110627
 13.03.2015
Nicole
Shtas Valerko came for lunch, evil like a dragon. They have a computer on which the terminal server stands, the aunt works. The terminal is very noisy (load is large, heats heavily, coolers swing on a full coil). So this employee wrapped the servant with a blanket so that it didn’t make such a noise. Serwak first reached full power, and then burned.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110626
 13.03.2015
I would like to ask Schnur to correct the text of the hymn of the Russian Federation taking into account the current situation.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №110625
 13.03.2015
Simply put, there was no money, there was no money at all... And I opened the package at that moment, and there was a rollon on top.

Please explain, I really don’t understand. So how can you afford a roulette in the shortage of funds? Two packs (for 1 adult) - approximately 20p. A pack of pasta or spaghetti about 30p - it is enough for 4 times an adult. (Even if you eat like a kitten and you have one pack of rollon for dinner, spaghetti will be enough for at least six meals, respectively.) This is serious. I understand the students who are dull lazy to cook, but we are talking about a family where there is a hostess and a small child. Explain it, right?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110624
 13.03.2015
Do not break up. I give the cockroaches a glance.
and UGU. You are an intelligence.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №110623
 13.03.2015
Dennis, hello to you! Can you help? Give us water please. It’s dry in the office :)

2 and hello. It is usually written by Jeanne. Have we changed something?

My participation is temporary, one-time. Jeanne is absent, and the people with eyes full of prayer come to our department and with dry lips ask: "Drink."

3: I will remember your "and with dry lips asks: "Drink" almost tea has not flooded)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №110622
 13.03.2015
I adore my wife.
What is there on your neck?
I look in the mirror, two bright red spots.
I: Well you’re like a little boy, you see, a vampire bite!
J: - Cool, now you will become a vampire and shine in the sun?
I: No, I’m going to be a normal vampire, not a girl movie. I will smell and break up.
In principle, nothing will change.
I am = =

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110621
 13.03.2015
Radio Echo of Moscow is working in the background.  They talk about a new type of camera go about for cats. Tra-to-ta camera.... tra-to-ta lightweight convenient... transmits data to the smartphone.. tra-to-ta.. works even when diving to a depth of up to 40 meters O_o

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110620
 13.03.2015
I work as a specialist in crane instruments (all construction cranes have a computer and a black box). I'm checking the new car crane - failure of the crane sensor. (The sensor is embedded in the controller’s fee – "maternity"). I call the equipment factory - what to do? Type of guarantee and all that, the controller needs to be replaced. Great answer – No, turn it off! How? He is without spoil! Turn it off in settings. - Disconnection of the sensor by the program is not provided... - And this is p... children... After half an hour on the electronics comes a file with a new firmware. Give up profits! There is no sensor at all. Russia and Hule.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110619
 13.03.2015
I work in logistics. A colleague today asks: - Listen, and when there is no road, what is it called? The ground road?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110618
 13.03.2015
But in personal life it became deaf - once every two or three weeks, in one single posture, with such an expression of the face as Jean D. Arc on the fire. Now he also filed for divorce - he wants to expel me from the house, but that I leave with one suitcase of socks, left all the equipment, and then also paid alimony for two children.

I seem to understand her perfectly, if the whole personal life in marriage is reduced to how many times and in what posture you have sex fuck, and the need for a loan (to put in the right) no longer holds, divorce itself. Well, there was no time to stop and think: "Why am I living next to him? Not old age yet, but life is so low. I want you to be loved, cared for you, tenderness, attention, and not "come-poel-looked-telek\clashed computer-pulled-sunset-shut-out-turned and fell asleep". Do you not want to, or is it easier to live out of habit?

To take away all jointly earned, she still has no right, just as you give up alimony to your children, since you live easily, wasting all free time from work at your discretion.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №110617
 13.03.2015
Terry Pratchett has died today. One more true writer has become less.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110616
 13.03.2015
my grandmother, her kingdom of heaven, about girls wearing mini shirts said: "go out with a mouse."

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110615
 13.03.2015
The program issued the error "your empty is full". Your emptiness is full, so subtle in hopelessness I have never been hinted.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110614
 13.03.2015
I got my salary.
How did you fix the crane without that shit?
Q: Are you talking about salary?? to

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110613
 13.03.2015
The male is interested.
______
The man is sure! The chinchilla male thus stretches out his hand: the chickens there in a bowl to pour or just chew - immediately begins to show interest. I would have been able to print, I would have complained on the internet, that the hostess hands and feet of his evil friendship. And no furry cattle wants to limit themselves to the females of their species!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №110612
 13.03.2015
One day, a monkey took a stick in her legs and started taking a selfie.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №110611
 13.03.2015
If a man brings coffee to bed, the first thing you should do to thank him is not to marry him for as long as possible.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №110610
 13.03.2015
Everyone who has at least once been to the construction and economic supermarkets knows: there are a lot of sales consultants. But they are all busy. They go somewhere. So are busy. Very busy. Or they are not responsible for the department in which they are now standing and talking. Therefore, they relatively politely board you, go through the shelf and talk again, and sometimes do not cross.

This happened in one of the shops. We call it “Arsenal”. The former asked to help buy the expenditure before the repair. We walk through the department and see: two consultants specifically drop. The end of the working day, everything was enough, the questions-questions of the “stupid” buyers. They say “I’m not from this department, go to the seller” and disappear. After 20 minutes of fermentation, a boring cashier girl and a guard remained at the exit. And eight couples, a little confused because they were forgotten in the store, were us.

A minute after five we started to communicate, discuss the materials, and another five began to stumble, what and how to wrap-measure-bear. The guard was vigilant at the exit. The cashier was missing.

Then I saw the phone! He stood in the corner, in front of the compound. Well, you know, there are billboards. The button phone. In front of the buttons of the inscriptions: “director”, “guard”, “cash”, “storage”. It was so fun for me. I call the director. What to small.
and yes.
Hi to you!
Hi to you.
"Please tell me, here I need to buy the cable and this fence where it closes. I already got the roses. I found cement. Plinth got it. And the cable I cut off, will the girl on the box trust me, or will it exaggerate? Here another man is looking for a tile. Someone else needs to say something about the mixture, but I don’t know.
Where are you calling?
The Director.
from where?
How from where? From the shopping room. There’s no one here, we’ve been here for half an hour.
- (short guts) by pi-pi-pi
In a few seconds, a man in a costume breaks out. No, he’s jumping at us, looking around. I am pleased with him:
It was I who called you!
It goes spots, bleeds and disappears too. But then then!! to
I didn't know that all the cassiers were sitting on the box and there were 1.5 sellers for each pair.
I hadn’t heard the director speak. Judging by the sounds, he’s drinking them. They appeared as they disappeared, and even more. Red, quiet, polite, understandable and everything at our disposal.

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