bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №97568
 08.05.2014
bionet: from news group south-east/anti-Maidan to vk:

If the National Guard does not stop blocking food cars for Slavyansk, then the Slavs will begin to eat prisoners, and then come and eat the army.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №97567
 08.05.2014
Men in note. correspondence with my husband.
Where did you put the chicken soup out of the refrigerator?
M: Ah, how would you say that...
M: I put it in the shell...
I: O_o
I: Did he bother you? and :)
M: No, I thought it was water from under the chicken =)
I: Well you thought right. Only the water out of the chicken is called "bullion" :)

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97566
 08.05.2014
The brother in the dining room stopped pouring half of the first portion. He insulted the working dining room and imposed European sanctions - he does not go there for lunch for 100 rubles, but goes to a nearby cafe for 200 rubles.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97565
 08.05.2014
The Office Control...
xxx: And, most importantly, refuses so interesting... Even to be offended doesn’t work out... Access is closed, as these are websites for adults....
XXX is me!! And a suck. Or better, somewhere in the third size.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №97564
 08.05.2014
(Discussion of the photo where Aunt Toples washes the window)

O-va (13:29:56 7/05/2014)
Of course, I’m wildly apologizing for the fact that someone else is cleaning up at home?! to

Macluen (13:31:45 7/05/2014)
What is your address?

O-va (13:32:44 7/05/2014)
What is? The faces?

Macluen (13:33:01 7/05/2014)
Home of yours

O-va (13:33:07 7/05/2014)
December 29

O-va (13:33:08 7/05/2014)
and CHO

O-va (13:33:17 7/05/2014)
and

O-va (13:33:20 7/05/2014)
I understood

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №97563
 08.05.2014
From the FB tape:
Do you know the theory of six hands? According to this theory, any two people on Earth are separated by only five levels of common acquaintances (respectively, six levels of connections). This means that specifically you, a simple resident of Kharkiv, are acquainted, for example, with singer Bill Gates by a maximum of 5 people. Or even less. Funny is it, right?

Yes, the singer Billy Gates is really funny)))

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97562
 08.05.2014
I live in the Crimea... Finally my dream has come true – you can say to the Moscovites: "We have come here".)))))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97561
 07.05.2014
Protest against chaos. Very well invented, fuck. Declare what a picket against entropy.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №97560
 07.05.2014
Imagine a situation: Thor and Hulk in a spacecraft in near-Earth orbit, in conditions of unweight. Thor releases the hammer from his hand, which hangs in the air. Question: Will Hulk be able to use the hammer?
If so, then weak protection from NSD, techno-magic pumped. It is uninteresting.
But if not, then it turns out to be a very interesting object: hanging in space is a relatively unmovable object that cannot be moved. Here is the point of Archimedes!
What if I put a hammer in a box? Also not? What is the difference between a box and a spacecraft in which the hammer can move?
The Millner

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №97559
 07.05.2014
XXX: I have a bottle of whiskey stands - you need to invite people to poker in the evening to splash

YYY is max. You are falling!
YYY: Take a child and suffer like everyone else!

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97558
 07.05.2014
There was a psychiatrist at the department. I went into the office, sat down. And she and her girlfriend on the phone trembling about some frank anger. Candy, cocktails, I listened for half an hour exactly (I watched the clock every minute, and a lot of doctors had to go through). It didn’t irritate me as a child, but I stopped, saying nothing. After half an hour, she put the phone, put the stamp, said the next call and called the number... and what, an interesting method, I thought.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97557
 07.05.2014
Mom looks at my Parliament pack: “What are you smoking? I am an EM-FI-ZE-MA.” It sounds like a disease of some sort.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №97556
 07.05.2014
While going to work, I watched the most fun thing: the children in the courtyard played, apparently, in the world war. The event was not that remarkable, but their conversation impressed me:
I use chemical weapons. One is threatening.
Oh yeah! It is not by rules! Takes him another.
And I am America, I am America!
The curtain.
The baby’s mouth, as they say.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №97555
 07.05.2014
to this:
I stopped writing about politics. And now, tell me, how can I know what is happening in the world?! to

I support. I’ve heard all the important news here before.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №97554
 07.05.2014
The woman at work talked about her problems:
My husband’s birthday happened today. We knew about it, but not in time.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №97553
 07.05.2014
Only in Russia you are already serving with weapons, when passing the military-medical commission, you need to bring a certificate from a psycho- and drug dispenser, that you are not registered there! >_<

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97552
 07.05.2014
XX: You imagine there are also non-executive directors. Funny sounds
YYY: How is it?
xxx: the type of director, but non-executive, rofl

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97551
 07.05.2014
What is there with the dishes?
Jets are
Tell her I won’t come.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97550
 07.05.2014
Hawking said the emergence of artificial intelligence would be the greatest achievement of human civilization, but at the same time underestimating the threat from the birth of AI could be the biggest mistake in human history.
YYY: Yes for God’s sake. Robots are better than people. Among the robots I have not met any idiots.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №97549
 07.05.2014
Teekannee> As a child, probably each of us went to the village to my grandmother on the work and travel program.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna