bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95907
 27.03.2014
About the news that in / on the Maidan planted cabbage and breeds chickens...
This is how you sit, play yourself in AgeOfEmpires... enemy stones and spies thrown, requests built, only decided to civilization to move, as the wife prepares, expelled from behind the compass and let in his "Glory Farm" get stuck...

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95906
 27.03.2014
In fact, in the Middle Ages under the armor was put on a steak (looking like a telogreek filled with a fist), because the armor protects only from cuts and torn wounds, and the main amplitude of the blow is just extinguished on the armor... otherwise all your bones will break and no armor will help you.
andquot;

By the way, from there also went the word "overwhelming": shell. To shock - to hit the helmet, as a result of which the person was shaken and for a while did not realize where. Listen to your native language, there are many such "tags".
For example, the word "list" is used wrongly by most people. The list is something written from somewhere. List of outputs. A list of items is a list, i.e. The listing.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №95905
 27.03.2014
N: Hello
N: Save me
Hi, what is it?
N: I have a hungry husband at home who cannot eat until morning.
N: (examination by a doctor)
N: I did not eat lunch.
H: I didn’t eat lunch either.
H: Turning into a Neanderthal
N: He buried in his bedroom, there is now his cave
I am afraid to walk by.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №95904
 27.03.2014
I had gas on the tank yesterday. I see: the gas pipeline (a large such a tank), but on the way it is a little hindered by a gazelle in line. The gas car struck her, the gazelle left. The gas car went, and there was protective cotton and dust.
The wheel broke in the gas car. The whole tank was scared.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95903
 27.03.2014
From the news about the use of iPads by officials:
XX: I wonder, but where do the iPads share? and :)
WOW: They’re probably writing... And then recycling. Not free of course.
ZZZ: There is a popular way in business to write off on depreciation. No need to dispose, but the unit is no longer included in the inventory.
AAA: Disposal is free, and recycling is paid, which means you can take tablets and money for recycling. Not to be a member :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №95902
 27.03.2014
As for the German.)
German teacher taught how to remember the expression "Cathedral of Basil the Blessed" Basilius-Kathedrale
Basilio the Cat Dali
It’s been 25 years and I still remember.)
My tribute to Elena Stanislawovna, she was a good teacher.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95901
 27.03.2014
A lot of people are wondering what is the essence of Western politics around the world?

To quote Einstein:
Only the fool needs order; genius dominates chaos.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95900
 27.03.2014
Inscription on the dirt of dirty gazelle: we do not accept requests for transportation from Obama

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №95899
 27.03.2014
You are talking about luck.
One day Shahinya told her 10-year-old son is collecting a collection of the Avengers from the Kinders and he does not get Rosomach. The child already buys 3 kidders at a time, and Rosomachi is not. I went to the store with the thought of making the child happy, bought a kindergarten, opened it, and there... Well, yes, Rosomaha! She then blackmailed her son with this Rosomaha - forced him to do all the lessons.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №95898
 27.03.2014
To all those who tell how epically younger generations are mistaken in music, literature, politics and history (most often by their striking ignorance), I would like to say the following:

Do not judge a generation by a couple of dumb underdeveloped "persons," believe, among your peers there are also.
Better think about why such "selfishnesses" happen in your life.

When I was 25, I never met a single person who did not know who Pink Floyd, Metallica, Cinema, Time Machine, who wrote Anna Karenina or Evgeny Onegin, who Lenin, Dzerzhinsky, when the USSR collapsed and what number Gagarin flew into space.

Your surroundings are chosen by you.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №95897
 27.03.2014
Yes, my beloved wife, of course, as a woman, you have a right to care. But I will only take you to the restaurant when I come home after work in the cleaned apartment, and dinner will be waiting in the kitchen.

You have an interesting family, bro. You get her to the restaurant for dinner and cleaning. It gives you “access to the body” for a repaired socket and removed garbage... Maybe it’s easier, love separately, household separately, isn’t it?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №95896
 27.03.2014
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Welcome to Igor Vladimirovich
What is the password for the file server? I need some files, some network problems.
Go to File Server
HH: What did you say?
Without any gaps. All the main letters.
Oh... Okay, thank you very much. A pleasant rest

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №95895
 27.03.2014
I went to my parents. She watched all the news on all channels. He hears the message that the Musichka (Bilogo sash) was buried from a local drama theater.
He commented:
Thank God, I went to the theatre once.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95894
 27.03.2014
I need a reference to drawing down, about some man, I do not remember what...
It turns out that this is not a man.
Mommy: What about what?
About the goblin.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №95893
 27.03.2014
This is this.

I add :
here here :
Recently, the ventilation grid in the kitchen stopped working. I put a flame - there is no pull.
What am I?
I sincerely wish everyone who crashes their refrigerators into the air pipes not to stop at the achievement and crash their microwave directly into the sewage collector. They are smart, beats.
___________________________________________________________________________
Any windshield is drawn to the roof, and on top of it is usually a shallow, easily removable gesture cushion. Algorithm: 1) Carefully remove the cushion. 2) We put the lome inside. 3) Carefully put the cushion in place.
To avoid complications, we evacuate from the roof through the adjacent entrance, or conduct an act of retaliation in the deep night.

Do not do harm that can be attracted. Throw away a kilogram of ice cream, sooner or later in the apartment of the man will stand such a smell that he will be happy to pull out his refrigerator. (For the reliability of the story, you can drop a kilogram of dead pigeons)

--------------------
You are fucking fucking, fool. The smell will stand all over the wind. Standing for a few months and removing it will not be anything.
Throw them away, maybe even uranium.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95892
 27.03.2014
Daria is
They went to Peter. The water climb is called bodlon. The shoulder, the shoulder

Svetlana
I also always say shoulder hanging – it’s a hose on the clothes. Plastics are shoulders.

Daria is
The hanging is a hanging. I am a mosquito, I know better.

Svetlana
Another hanging is a wooden standing or sloping structure on which a mantle can be laid. If everything in the world is called a hangover, you can go crazy, so the plastic piece is shoulders.
By the way, in the Urals, the mouthpiece is called a whistle.

Daria is
What

Svetlana
my family was one of the few who said it was OK :) Yes, another platform for eggs is a sting. We all said so in Chelyabinsk :) one-bedroom apartment - half Tuesday

Daria is
x_x
This is worst

Svetlana
Okay, don’t even say half Tuesday? A large spider is a spider.
Take a shirt and squeeze my back!
The egg broke again.

Daria is
It hurt me physically to read it.
Now the eyes run out.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №95891
 27.03.2014
The dining room of our institute has imposed sanctions against Ukraine and ceased to make cottlets "in Kiev"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95890
 27.03.2014
The Seasonality.

The spring... the woman is blooming... ))
My wife is an old fool. It is you, men, who only wake up in the spring, and we, women, create all year round.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95889
 27.03.2014
XXX is greeting. What plaster do you have in your hand? From smoking, is it?
from MMORPG.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95888
 27.03.2014
Zombiracer: Today through the internal portal came 3 messages in a row.
Sergeev is on vacation for two weeks. His duties are temporarily performed by the Cowboys.
Kowalski is on vacation for two weeks. His duties are temporarily performed by the City.
The city is on vacation for two weeks. Sergey temporarily performed his duties.
Here are they. The modern seals!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna