My monomur works in a purely male team and becomes an involuntary witness to "male" conversations. From Skype:
xxx: here Dima so evil flies in and says: "Take off, this fool, my 600 scissors have crushed! I’ll buy her for those 600 scratches, fucking, I’ll buy her into slavery along with an unlimited subscription to her broken anal!!Only then he notices me, turns red and whispers: "Oh, good morning! Please put on your headphones".

He and She. Studying in the same city, they both live in different places.
He: The snow has fallen. I would have been on sandals ?
She: I don’t have a sandwich here (
He: And I have two.
She: So is it at home. I have a home (
He: Remind you that I have a spacious suitcase.
She: your threats, that you will not tell you, immediately the luggage box you have is spacious, then the places are deserted.

From the discussion of the "Snowstorm" on December 3 in Irkutsk:
Yesterday I watched the rainbow.

Q: Did you wash your socks?! to
YYYYYY: Yes
WOW: I threw them out.

xxx:A article about the delivery of an order from Amazon on a drone came out, in the head immediately the thought "to his wife!", began to read comments to the article,and there are already discussions what mask to wear when to break it down, and if half a brick is enough to break down :D

At the city youth festival of reconstructors, in the image of the lady of the beginning of the 20th century, I greet a familiar daddy, who honored with his presence"...give me a hand. and here is a mutual uncomfortable pause: everyone used to that it was him visavi kisses his hand.

The female logic.
I fell in love so that I couldn’t have a minute without him. In order not to pull a person a hundred times a day, I recorded a video with him on the phone. I missed it – I watched it, I listened to it, well!
After twenty-three views, you can not turn on, I open the folder, I see the icon of the video (photo), it rotates in my head, the mood rises.
On the second day you can not even open the folder - you take the phone in your hands and know that it is there.
Third day: sits crazy at work, looks at the table box and gently smiles to him!

Two friends are talking.

HH: This has happened to me now. Full of fucking.
WOW :?? to
I wanted a banana and ate it.
Then I wanted an apple and ate it.
Then I wanted a silk and ate it.
Then salve and drink it all with tea with chocolate.
I need to buy a pregnancy test.

I was asked today to send a photo "how the file looks" (to download it from the mail). I sit and think...

I feel like Google.
– – – – –
Google, and you understand that you put the family life of a friend at great risk, throwing out this information to the view of millions of people, just for the sake of a questionable hollow? Trust the spouse will easily identify who is talking about if he ever reads this. The smart. The real comrade. Google’s privacy policy is only for you and equal.
– – – – –
Comrade, and you understand that a friend himself has changed his family life, twice: changing, and this with his mistress in the presence of strangers?

Hermiona: I’m just amazed at people’s ability to attract politics to any news. It turns out, even to the message in the spirit of "The Cat gave birth to four kittens", you can leave a comment "And if not "The Party of Regions", it would have given birth to six!"

But we, in the ordinary school of one of the distant republics, had a Russian teacher with whom we argued on equal terms about philological puzzles in the lessons, pulled arguments from libraries for weeks, and composed memoirs ourselves.
After the lessons of our math graduates-three-year-olds did not prepare to enter the capital universities, and the "English woman" sang with us the Beatles and read Shakespeare in the original.
Oldshire you know.

The xxx:
No is.
I went to the doctors in August. and did not pass. Go now
gynecologist, gastroenterologist, psychologist, surdologist

YYYY :
A general expert would be like that. and one. He came to him and solved all the problems) and he would be called a lotologist. as an option.
wtfologist

The xxx:
But such is not. So you will go through all the doctors in the winter.

YYYY :
It is :'(
"Doctor, I have menstrual failure, I have a headache, I lose weight, I have an ulcer, I have a hearing nerve neuritis, I cut my arms, I have attacks of self-aggression and again, once you know everything, don't tell me how to patch under FreeBSD?"

The Tatar-Mongol Yogue Inscription on the Hanseatic label:

For blasphemy against Orthodoxy, the culprit was subjected to the death penalty and could not even be pardoned.

My relatives, well, you are here to measure those whose teacher was worse.
Remember your school issue. Who was the most intelligent and capable of teaching? And who of them started working or still works in school?
There is nothing to be surprised here.

Will you grow your hair?
I will be like a shit skater.
Next to whom?
Metallicist
And then then?
Miss Universe

In a trolleybus, a stranger talks loudly about his problems on the phone. Then I could hardly resist to ask: "Well, what’s there, is it okay?"

xxx: Oh, and then the enemies will say that this is a photoshop :)
The photoshop?
xxx: No "sho"-ka, xxx :)

The only thing that is contagious and good for health is laughter.

They tell such a story.

A professor of one of the capital universities, a young, but already deserving of a reputation for insightful and principled teaching, told the students on the eve of the exam.
The so-called students! There will be no exam on Saturday, it will be postponed for next week.
This is why? They were offended by those who were preparing. Those who were not prepared, of course, danced the jiga, and made a figure in their pocket, so as not to smooth up.
"Because on Saturday there will be a protest, an opposition rally, at which I, as a citizen and a progressive thinker, cannot fail to attend.
Well, he may not say it literally, but the meaning is understandable.
By the way, he added. - If I meet someone of you there completely by chance, he can count on the automate on the spot.

Well, and this means Saturday, the column of protesters, the clutching, the cloudy omon, all the things. And the professor, with a white band on his chest, a poster "Freedom to the Constituent Assembly" (or what they write in such cases, I am not in the subject), moves in a column of like-minded people. Suddenly I hear someone calling. He stopped, turned around, there was no one. Just intended to go further, and here there is a gap in the clutch, from there a hand appears, takes it for the shovel, and pulls it out for the clutch. The shields shut down, like water after stone, and as if the professor had just been there, and it was not.
He had already opened his mouth to shout out angrily, “What are you permitting yourself!” and attract attention, - look, there is a fighter in front of him, in full layout, in one hand a machine, in the other a check-in.
Professor, you have promised it!

* * * *
It is said that after this, the professor became even more intricate and principled, and the phrase "accounting with the machine" disappeared forever from his lexicon.