There is no captain on the submarine. There is a Commander!"

What about Nemo? O_o :` (

Other than black humor, and you can’t name it.
The news is:
In the city X, the Goths were sitting at the cemetery at night. The satanists came and offered ready sacrifices.
One man managed to escape.

We have not lived through easy times. But Russia is not a Titanic, but a great state, the main wealth of which is our great people living in it. We have a lot of honest, decent, decent people who every day contribute to the well-being of our homeland, develop and equip it... And not because they do not know how to steal something or how to leave. Because we have her.

If there are other people who think and think like that...
Just thank you, man!

How is the Rosomaha immortal? Who has seen the movie?
WOW: There is one moment in the film that distinguishes it epically from everything that was before it on the domestic film market of translation films. It is unclear whether this is a single explosion of a supernova or the beginning of a new era.
Zzzz: What are you talking about?
ууу: For the first time "protein" was translated not as "protein", but correctly - "protein". I barely fell out of the chair, swung over to make sure I didn’t feel. The most surprising episode of the film.
I once heard in a movie that instead of carbohydrates they said carbohydrates.
Wrong, there was no such thing, I would know.
Q: How is the movie?

From an interview with the new top manager of the network of cafes in Novosibirsk who came from the United States
The story began six months ago when a recruiter called me and asked: Would I be interested in a top manager position in a coffee company in Europe? My wife said: Of course, Europe is great. And when we were called for the first time on this position, I asked: where is it in Europe? They told me it was Russia. Well, okay, I replied, Moscow is also a good city. This is not in Moscow, they told me. This is Novosibirsk - on the other half of Russia."

I’m not lucky with cars and life. I bought my first car "Tavria" started doing not finished abandoned, not enough time. Purchased the second "Opel" broken engine, repaired it twice for the third time dropped. Purchased the third "Mazda" broken engine on spare parts of money is not enough postponed to better times. Purchased the fourth "Vatican USSR Moskvich 2140", already in it the hell that breaks and spare parts are cheap, to find easy, not covetous in maintenance and operation - in the end, he was kidnapped... and now in search.

How to remove the thermometer from clothes?

The WebKids!! to
Pick up your head, ubiquity.
Tagged: prostitute
Annie probably didn’t do anything :D

The dean of the FNO at the parental meeting today burned off.
"... And the employer will look primarily at the points of those employees who will want to pick up."
You won’t tell me exactly, fucking.

If cellular operators become electricity suppliers:

"Do you like straight numbers? Option second kilowatt-every second kilowatt for free!" Small font: first kilowatt at double price, connection option 10 rubles, disconnect 1000 rubles.
Charge your devices at night! Night charging option with a 90% discount Small font: We have a night from 3.00 to 6.00, hopefully your devices will already charge until 3.00 even if they are Androids.
"Economic housewife option: reduce power consumption at peak times by 30% and get a 100 kilowatt bonus!"Small font: the bonus must be used from 3.00 to 6.00 no more than 3 kilowatt every night

Lunch conversation: Dad, who is Alfons?
Father: Alfons is a man to whom a woman buys clothes, drives to a restaurant, or just gives money.
My mom alphons???? to

Americans are so politically correct - now I watch the movie "Normans" about how the Vikings arrived in America. One of the Negro Vikings.

xxx: And I wanted to be at home for two days - eve, the daddy wants to pull me out on the shells tomorrow.
yyy: what naked shells in November cold rain snow death empty wind
Tagged: KMM
yyy: I think I accidentally composed a new song dimmu borgir

The metro on Sunday morning. I go to work among sleeping people.
Department of Transport "Spain" The driver with a serious voice:
Carefully, the doors smile.
I was tired to imagine it.)

Where did this vineyard fall? Here it can't be, I'll go here to make it more convenient to search - BLUE!!!! to

In the Habr. From the discussion of the armor:

Not a fact, sometimes it’s better for a bullet to take off than that.

YYY: Which organ is better for the bullet to pass through?

ZZZ: The Brain

Shurupchik: See, the child on the question of where I appeared must either say the truth and corrupt it, or lie to him, and feel like a scapegoat speaking to children.
“Well, put yourself on a bed with cabbage and tell the truth, cha.

An old quote:

2012-11-18 22:35
"xxx: Why do you call it a gun?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY He is Yuri Jurich. Yuri Yurich - Yuu - 2u - u2 - to you too (you too) - TT - pistol TT - pistol.
xxx: #$% o_0"

And my acquaintance was named Veniamin, because of the name got chased Schwarzenegger (Arnie at the same time he obviously did not pull)
He was called Wena, then he began to be called Winnie, then someone thought that the full name would be Vincent, someone called him Van Gogh, went to the artists (the companion we have is an intellectual), visited Monet, and Raphael, and a bunch of people. When they came to Leonardo da Vinci, they found that Leonardo was also DiCaprio. Go to the actors. And now, when this crazy creature got the clique of Schwarzenegger, they decided to stop.

Men and women are not perfect.
Tagged Bauman

BadGirl: Bobs are fish.They suspect it was done intentionally to taste their meat during fasting.Bobs spend most of their time underwater—that is, fish.

A Turtle from the point of view of religious gastronomy is considered a nut.

Where will the curvature of the water mass arise on the flat Earth?

The heavenly bow with its mass presses on the water floor and curves it, what is incomprehensible here?