bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №90587
 04.12.2013
From a comment to the article on The Village:
When I read the text, where some words are highlighted by a capsule, I imagine how a person’s EYES increase significantly when he pronounces them.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90586
 04.12.2013
Fuck the fuck! The rule is very simple! If the emphasis falls on the end or suffix after the whispering (for those who are very difficult to do so - at the end of the word), then O is written. Tea, towels and so on.

[ + 50 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90585
 04.12.2013
You are still asking why Ukrainians want to be with Europe and not in the Taeyeon Union with the Gopniks?

No to. We ask if you are able to read and have read well the conditions that the European Union has drawn out to you? Or have you heard the word "Europe" and immediately on the Maidan, not interested in what exactly the tolerant Europeans are going to fuck you in?

[ + 78 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90584
 04.12.2013
The Ukrainians! As a Russian I declare (and hopefully will be supported)
I am not sorry for you!
If you want to join the European Union, go to the European Union.
If you want to change power, please change it.
Only, please, remove from our Russian-language resources, because your Maidan has already wiped the whole shell. Or the Russians have you as in the friendship - you want to fuck with the EU, and nothing about relations - the Russians, "we do you how to take".
Just go fuck with peace.

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90583
 04.12.2013
Do we now have coconut fruits? Did not know...
--------
Do not be bored. Ananas is a berry and a banana is a grass. But together they are somehow ‘tropical fruits’.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №90582
 04.12.2013
A sister with a baby recently moved to Germany, says:
“We were pleased here, they said that there are two Russian children in the kindergarten! Ahmed and Ruslan.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90581
 04.12.2013
The Internet has dramatically increased the technical equipment of universal illiteracy.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90580
 04.12.2013
She came to us in the accounting office of the chief, immediately after an economist, such as a young specialist, something she was taught there for five years, probably, and she passed the exams.
The first working day, after a couple of hours of "work" gives the voice:
Should we pay taxes to the state and not it to us?

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №90579
 04.12.2013
The son took his father to the hospital. In the reception room he is asked:
Do you have shoes?
There is!
Is there a dress?
There is!
Is there bed clothes?
There is!
Is there a mattress, a blanket, a pillow?
Yes, it is in the box!
Well well! Who is next to you in the white coat?
- That I brought the doctor for the case, suddenly you do not have it!! to

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90578
 04.12.2013
In Soviet times, the nodes of industrial machinery were open - insects or rodents could get into the meat-smashing machine. Now the whole process is automated, the nodes are closed - unpleasant surprises are excluded.

Is it possible to believe that this phrase can help uncover the secret of why in Soviet times the sausage was more delicious?

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №90577
 04.12.2013
This

I tried to talk to the child about Santa. He explained that he was flying sandwiches, roasted with magical deer.

When will you, the Americans, stop confusing Santa Claus with Santa Claus?

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №90576
 04.12.2013
Worked until late. She asked her husband to take her daughter from the kindergarten. My husband was happy tonight :)
02.12.2013 board journal of the cruiser "Dobrestny turtle".Report of the day.
The headquarters received an order to take a small individual from the incubator. upon arrival at the site, it was established that the individual behaved well, but allowed involuntary urination.for dinner agreed to a boiled potato, but a silk with onion did not impress.on the word of vodka the individual reacted suspiciously, with caution, and sad. I wanted to talk to the souls, to determine the status quo.dinner passed without check.report ended.communications officer Subyrv Ustoev)))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №90575
 04.12.2013
Other news about propaganda:

xxx: In order not to become gay from propaganda, we need to develop counter-propaganda of traditional values. The state should allocate money for a federal porn site and force women to have sex with their closest man at least twice a week to prevent him from becoming gay.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №90574
 04.12.2013
Talk to an ex-girlfriend.
He: Okay, then on Thursday in the restaurant I wait at 20:00
It is: OK
He: and on Friday at 21:00 there will be a male erotic show
I can’t on Friday.
Don’t worry, you won’t see anything new.
She says, “And then suddenly?
He: No, absolutely nothing
Q: Have you been to this show?
He: I participate in it.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90573
 04.12.2013
I read news. In Guam, for the fight against snakes, threw four thousand mice.
They would have even dropped a couple of kilos of baked eggs to fight my cats.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90572
 04.12.2013
It is naive:
The beginning of the old rites is not known, but decent Muslims and jehovists usually do not drink vodka.

You have a lot to learn in this life, young fellow.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №90571
 04.12.2013
-ما هو؟

What is?

- أنه لا يكن نسف!

Why do you write as doctors?! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №90570
 04.12.2013
Recently, a colleague at work (who is engaged in military communication) explained to the praporcher what ping is.
“Look, the commander of the unit comes out to the square and greets the squad: ‘Hello, comrades!’ And he replied, “Hello, Comrade Colonel!”
Ping went well.
If the system did not respond, then the ping did not pass.
And if he answered, but unclearly or not heard - it means the loss of packages.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90569
 04.12.2013
<xxx> no sweater, no beard
<xxx> I am an administrator
<xxx> are you going?
<yyy> out of the profession
<yyy> somewhere without work suffers a swirling warts

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90568
 04.12.2013
In the midst of a quarrel on the theme of Creationism:
xxx: Have you ever thought about the logic of placing the genitals? What happens between the legs?
xxx: it's something like an entertainment center in the middle of a sewer system.
No engineer would have done that.

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