We are standing with Nikita in the store for beer, I am 25, Nikita 24.
It is our turn and the sick seller asks:
Are you 18 guys?
I answered by 25.
She insists:
My grandson is 16, and he looks older than us.
Nikita stretches in a smile and gives to the whole store:
You and I can play child pornography. =) is
If you could see the shoppers’ faces...I haven’t laughed so long ago =))

“There is such a profession – to defend the Motherland! “The former defense minister Serdyukov now likes to repeat.

Transmission of SMS

Did you do it yet??? You are a fuck.
The fucking son in the bathroom.
And who is it?
The Fucks
I am sorry :(

XXX: What are you busy with?
Tagged with: pd ucu
XHH: Why is it? No one drives them.
To allow me not to ride them.
Fuck... logically.

Rutracker, comments under the film

Aaa I go!

BBB: As you upload, you must write - jumped. It is so touching. When you see it, write it. And... and so on, the same way.

ccc: And yes! If you put on a break to write - also be sure to write off. Everyone is interesting.

ddd: and when the wife comes back with a aunt from grandmother write - returned.

xxx: I have a friend with the name Shishchenko. So the Germans barely had enough condrats when they tried to read his surname in the German transliteration - Schyschtschenko :)))

by titan137

In the country, friends built a compost hole. There was a trapezoid, a curve in all directions. Of boards 50mm thick, pinched with four nails 100-120 mm each. As if he could escape by shooting himself.
Before that, there was a fence. In the middle of the process, he went to see them and died. A bunch of sand was pumped with cement from above, like a paschal puddle. The resulting “beton” was like wet sand on the beach. Even the color is yellow. None of the "beton" base of the pillar has endured the winter, all collapsed and half dissolved. The pillars still stand. None other than on the fucking force and such a mother, with which they were placed.
Yes by the way. Friends from Baumanka, from the Faculty of Rocket Engineering. "Bris-M" do you think? and ;))

I don’t want to go hungry and wander and die under the bridge.
Life is surprisingly ironic. Princess Diana probably did not think she would die under the bridge either.

Remove this dirty orange strip.

I wonder why people who are free from the need to both go to work and communicate with colleagues (say, doing a volume translation in one barrel) ALWAYS switch to the day mode of Count Dracula? It lights - we go to bed, get up for lunch, the cycle closes.

I go to work by the side of the Pedschool and I hear the interruption apparently of a homeowner and a simple worker:
We have a carpenter. Why do you work for him?
He is doing sanitary. >_<
What does our sanitary technician do?

The woman wakes up at night, sits down and starts looking for something in the counter.
What are you looking for?
The Diary!
What a diary?
The school, what else?
Does he cheat on you?
- There are two, you have to cut out the sheet so that Mom doesn't know.
And understandably...

A few months later, another case wakes me up at night.
What to you?
Go open the door!
The Nafiga?
There are Gypsies!
What are the Gypsies?
On the horses!
Did you come for a diary that didn’t find my mom?
Get away fool! I woke up, RJ

An appendix of acquaintances:
sweetheart
What did you do for your beloved girlfriend?

Anatoliy
Do you really want to hear this?

sweetheart
Yes Yes Yes

Anatoliy
We walked with her dog, the dog ate grass and then it started to do its business... and a bunch of grass came out only halfway, it turned out of her ass cm 10 and the lady was all in shock.. almost fainting doesn't fall, so you can't go home. Well I with the help of two branches and crowned this squad ) direct knight-redner)))) romance))))

Yesterday I sat with a friend, we played in Tanki, his wife came with a friend with a daughter. We sat down, the child turned on some kind of children's channel with terrible cartoons, from the sound of which we escaped to the headphones, but still a little heard. And here in the cartoon there is a scene very surprised the heroes and some of them, with the intonation "Yoptvumat/Ahuet!!And he cried out, “The heavens are the heavens!” This is..."
I barely got a beer with my nose. Everyone went under the table for 20 minutes. :D
Then I decided to add the expression to the collection to the "roasted straw"))

husband
Pussy, and we went to Ikea.
husband
have to travel. Look at the closet.
husband
There are a lot of useful and important little things, so much needed. I must go! Clothes to see, bed clothes, just twist there)
I am
OOO
I am
where is my Romochka "and can I sit in the car"and "Bliiiin...you will be here (in the bedding) for a long time?..."???? to
husband
You want to go to IKEA! Why did we not go?! to
I am
Let’s go together)
husband
When? →
I am
Why did you suddenly want it?
husband
We have met with you for a long time.
husband
I like to go to IKEA!
I am
So... there were sausages?
husband
It is ?

News on Yandex:

Lukashenko told that he caught in Pripyat soma weighing 57 kg

My dad says he’s longer! :)

I live and work in Sierra Leone. White people here, of course, are not as many as in any South Africa, but even on their few backgrounds, we still stand out.
Parking near the supermarket. I see a white family moving toward the car nearby, loaded with shopping. Immediately around them a whole crowd of local Aboriginal beggars of varying degrees of malice gathered. Start with standard:
Mr... Mr! The friend! Good friend!
The head of the family clearly, by slogans, but with a clearly obvious accent for the Russian ear:
Go to Hui!
Prayers are offended:
A... Rush...
And, losing any interest in the family, they go to look for another victim.
And the French-speaking family, by the way, was Belgian. Good guys think!
by JAP

Yesterday I went with my husband to the house. The sun is just setting, I can’t see anything. He shows - out, a cyclist-kamikaze on the side, without a lighthouse, without a catapoth, and in black clothes. I answer, I say, I don’t see. I am not in darkness at all. He, without thinking about it: “It’s Kristen Stewart in the ‘Summertime’.” You just don’t see them ".

DoctorLector: With all respect... In my language is spoken and written "in Ukraine". However, the Kyrgyz people have the full right to call themselves Kyrgyz, and Kyrgyzstan - Kyrgyzstan. These are their problems. But in my language there is no Kyrgyzstan, South Asia or Great Britain, and you can’t go to Ukraine.

I worked as a brigadier at the end of the 1990s. We worked soft. The roof of wings.
And it was so pleasant in the company of new acquaintances to answer the question of who you work.
We make the roof of people.