From a familiar website:
I’m a guitarist, and when I bring a guitar to school, all the girls cry that I don’t know how to play famous songs, well, as a true gentleman, I decided to learn to play Max Corge. During the process of playing the guitar, the string broke and hit me in the face. Sorry, Guitar, I’m not going to torture you like that anymore.

(A post with a naked girl)
Kaesse: I wonder why people are constantly “requiring the name of Nash”?
RaccoonEfistafi: You need to know the name before shaking. The gentleman principle

c Habr, Doctor_Gradus
There is such a phenomenon: “perforator syndrome”. This is when a person buys a perforator and it seems to him that now any construction and repair task can be solved by a perforator.

The Belgian:
When I was a child, I had a cat who was terribly afraid of the vacuum cleaner - only to hear him get out of the warehouse, immediately hid in the most distant room. One day, when my mother was dusting, my younger brother went under the journal table, where my mother also needed to dust and she started to play with my brother in a joke, and my brother began to whisper and chew out of excitement and joy (small, also a little afraid, apparently). I was a puppy when the cat, coming from a distant room for a whistle, rushed with all the courage to the vacuum cleaner brush, like a terrible predator. It was something! I became proud of my cat after this event.

A. G. (30.10.2013 0:01) :
I decided to update the books on the reader.
The chemistry section. There are really cool science-pop books.
But!
This is!!! to
What is it???! to
Physical and chemical bases of salting and fermentation of vegetables.

Here in front of us a store opened with the original name - "Fashioned Sheep". So it’s all clear, sheep – because the wool clothes are fashionable – because the socks there stand like my boots. But I can't keep the smile when I see another lady coming out of this store from the office window :)

Three levels of employment:
1st "What are you not answering?"
2nd The tea is cold again.
Three Time for lunch...when is the working day over?! to

Ez: You are what! I’m a cultural guy, I’ve never watched Playboy in my life!

Enot26: Did you not read it exactly?

Mother yesterday changed, obeyed heavily about the body strongly) the netbook was bleeding, and laundering in the evening was lazy, captured a bloody netbook for work )
I am sitting and washing blood from a white netbook. The manager came in, looked and forgot why he went in.)

to this:
You see the big bang theory differently when you know that all actors aged forty, they get eight million per season, and that Sheldon is gay.

Oh man! You don’t have to watch football at all.
Sheldon is playing well.

discussion of crashed aircraft AN-2 on the parachute forum:
Rather it fell, but burned and exploded not immediately, the guys had time to get out, the pilots - not. No normal person will jump out of a flying plane.

to this:
True sisadmines do not pay attention to worldly little things, as a result of which the signature on corporate mail (which is governed only by odmin) does not coincide with real data.

True sisadmines don’t make the entire enterprise cancer in this way. Brad is...

The Office Note:
"Lost wallpapers from the desktop - close the browser and pretend to be working."

Matroskin, when Gavryush was born, said that he would now be twice as happy because he had two cows.

Have you read the last phrase and heard the voice of Tobakov?

The child is very noisy and wildly grimps with the lid of the tea bar. The woman is doomed: "Hear you, Shumanoid"

I sent out 15 pieces of a resume before I realized that on the avatar of the mail from which I was sending them, Mikimaus was standing, breaking his eyes :(

Why is everyone discussing the calculation of stress-deformed state (VAT) here and nobody says what exactly the details are?

Working at a client bank:
Where is the payment order if it has already left the processed, but it is not yet completed?
In the cleaning room?

I went to a shop with a girl. At the end of her ear, I heard that she was buying shit. In the evening, seeing some unknown root in the kitchen, I ask:
Is it your fucking? What I get the answer.
This is my fuck looking at my ginger.

My husband is German but speaks a little Russian.
I say to him, I bow and bow to you!
He made a smart look, like he understood the phrase and this: Yes, I have you choline!
) ) )