bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №88567
 20.10.2013
and today. It remains to wait until the electricians raise the top power cable. They wiped out the whole building and had nothing to do. I stand by the window, scalping a scalpel (this is quite a working tool for us) about a stone. Shirk Shirk, Shirk Shirk, Shirk Shirk, Shirk Shirk In the office comes a young man pale with a lamp, sorry, burning, new, obviously, and, smiling, but somehow nervously (shirt-shirt, shirt-shirt, shirt-shirt) asks "you are given this for self-defense?".
I, thinking (shir-shir, shwar-shwar, shir-shir): "maybe...and maybe for attack...it’s regardless of how to sharpen...and what?"
I don’t have new relationships with men lately, I don’t even know.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №88566
 20.10.2013
from youtube reply to a comment from "dismissed cellular employee":

I used to work in a pipe factory, but I was fired because I was buried. So I want to tell you about my secret secret. You do this: From workshop number 2 through the hallway, go to the toilets and turn to the right. There there? On the left side of the door there will be a closet. You open the closet number 16, you pull the rope, the pad is opened, and there - the WOW! The vodka!
I’m not saying this for personal gain, but to make everyone swell.
It works 100% on all people.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №88565
 20.10.2013
And we have a shop with the slogan "Sport!Tourism!Fishing!" there is a wine department... It is so cute ^_^

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №88564
 20.10.2013
“Today in the team “Gazovik”, which played with “Baltic”, was quite a Negro, on his T-shirt was written “Oyevol”. At some point from the southern tribune, where regularly gathered all kinds of idiots, he was shouted: "Learn Russian!" to this Russian citizen Adesoyye Oyetungyevitch Oyevolé, playing football from 8 years old, living in our country from 5 years of age, completely quietly, even without turning his head, threw: "***** shut down" and ran to play on.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88563
 20.10.2013
From Khabr, from the news "The new US Navy destroyer is working under Linux"

The journalist of the site Ars Technica visited the ship with a tour and wrote an excellent report on the results of the trip. He also mentioned a curious fact: the ship's captain's name is James Kirk, it's his real name.

xxx: so this was James A. Kirk, and that was James T. Kirk, so not exactly identical :)
YYY: Yes, it’s a lie, this ship doesn’t fly.
Zzzz: This is the first version. Then there will be James B. Kirk, James C. Kirk and so on to space.

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88562
 19.10.2013
“Old man, I don’t know which planet you are from, but on the planet of ‘Erefia behind the McDonald’s’ the same ambulances wear you on the bearings made of a piece of bresson with folded folders... From any floor to the car.

We are from different planets. The ambulance does not carry patients. In the best case, there will be carriages in the car, and then you will need to find a couple or three brutal but responsive neighbors at the entrance.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №88561
 19.10.2013
Conversation with a friend:
XXX: How are you doing sex?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №88560
 19.10.2013
The title of Miss Supranational was won by a representative of Thailand.
Congratulations to the guy for the victory!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №88559
 19.10.2013
and p.s. To whom is it better to go, to a psychologist or immediately to the killer?? to

Get away from the person with your idiotic stereotypes and let live for your pleasure. He doesn’t bother anyone with his toys.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №88558
 19.10.2013
The old foolish Fedor
Kinkick removed for idiots.
To bring the people into the crowd,
"Stalingrad" has been called.

I made a cool advertisement...
A movie about a prostitute.
The stupid Russian spectator.
It’s fun to watch for money!

— — —
Isela

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №88557
 19.10.2013
My brother is 21 years old, he works in Gorteploenergo. I came to the store in a working shirt (blue jelly with the inscription on the back "GORTEPLO") and asked for cigarettes at the box office.
The Seller:
Do you have a passport?
The Brother:
- What a bad passport, I will turn off your heating now!
The Seller:
and yes? Okay well.
I sold him a pack of cigarettes. The whole line rolled out of laughter.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88556
 19.10.2013
An American commentary from the New York Times on an article on raising the U.S. public debt:
Imagine it. You come home, and you do not have the sewage and shit from the whole area merges into your apartment. There is so much shit that it’s already under the ceiling. To solve the problem, you raise the ceiling.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88555
 19.10.2013
It didn’t work well yesterday.
The man looked at the night and called me and reminded me of the tail, which I for the second month forgot to bring to him at the house - we were just going to go to them in the morning. I decided to take the tail into the car right away until I forgot. He put on a coat, pulled a cap on his head and went out. There is a full moon. So beautiful in the sky! I stand, admire the moon, throw a tail in my hand thoughtfully. This is a woman’s scream of horror. A neighbor with a dog on a leash at the meeting rushed...
All three were easily frightened.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №88554
 19.10.2013
Radio_Storm: Representatives of the International Agency for the Study of Cancer have stated that outdoor air is carcinogenic to humans and leads to the development of lung cancer. They came to this conclusion by studying scientific literature, according to the WHO press release.
Edward Elric: I discovered the race of elves. I came to this conclusion when I read The Lord of the Rings.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88553
 19.10.2013
Dialogue between husband and wife during a quarrel
He:... otherwise it will be the rape of the big cattle!!! to
It is mmm, i.e. Will I be above?

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88552
 19.10.2013
Best comment under "ad and brutal Mongolian rap":

""Not a word understood, but for every case prepared a tribute."

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88551
 19.10.2013
On Saturday morning with the cat we accompany the husband to work, the husband:"so girls, don’t let go", at this time the cat played and I grabbed my legs, I kicked it off. Husband:"Well, you are already an adult girl, and she is small, give in to her".I:"No fig, this is according to human standards it turns out that she is one year older than me", Husband, looking at the cat:"Yes, today you are for the older one, and take off the bowl after her.")))

[ + 7 - ] Comment quote №88550
 19.10.2013
Today I woke up late, came to work (free schedule) closer to the evening. From the threshold:
Good Morning! That is, the days!
A few moments of silence. The wild rooster.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №88549
 19.10.2013
He sat in the Harkov port in a cafe reading on a bucket memoirs of General Manstein, head of the Battle of Stalingrad, described the manoeuvres of the 6th, 4th, 2nd Romanian and Italian armies. I sit and drink coffee, I read, and at the neighboring table, two drunken Italians cheerfully cheer, well, I think it's fun like a sound design, to read more fun. I am so excited, I read carefully further. A couple sit down at my table and start talking. In the German! I felt a complete sinking. ... →

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №88548
 19.10.2013
It became clear that I was a man properly raised by cats.
Just suddenly I was able to get into the situation and notice how the cat, passing by me on the table, just slightly cramped to my side, and I am already automatically moving the table closer to him.( by

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