bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88607
 20.10.2013
It was 1986. A friend of my father came to visit us in the village. Captain of long-distance navigation. The guest was my jeans. The Jeans!! In our depths they were seen several times when my uncle came and filmed a film in the club. I woke up in the morning with a wonderful feeling of how all the dogs in the village were dead of envy... they hanged on the back of the chair. The dream. A caring grandmother. With the shooters. To my reasonable cry why, I answered simply – well, it’s also trousers...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №88606
 20.10.2013
From the reference to the mini-shredder: "The test of the device in field conditions showed only one minus of the device - it does not slip up on the blinds".

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88605
 20.10.2013
Can I even see a horror in my dreams? It begins to dream such a classic nightmare - a gray fog, monsters some climb out of the cracks, I escape with a swing, slightly breathing, on the way there are two mimic kittens, they need to be saved, I plant for the sinus, as if not to press, and so that they don't freeze, oh, they mourn, hungry, probably urgently to feed, here is a bowl, here is a bed, ah you want to go to my bed, well, jump, play a fantasy, they are already five, mimic, slept, murmur, pissing it like a nightmare was, what's wrong with my psyche?!...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88604
 20.10.2013
xxxxxxxxxxx:
1) What are you doing?
17:01:21

of ZZZ:
Overall, I worked as deputy general director of a large construction company for more than ten years, but three years ago I got a brainwash and suddenly started drawing, quit my job and immediately started teaching painting.
17:03:57
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Strongly hit?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №88603
 20.10.2013
*** by
... "Would citrus live in the southern parts? Yes, but a fake copy!" What was it?
*** by
It was a standard phrase for checking the telegraph (tele typing, any other printing) apparatus, containing almost all the letters of the Russian alphabet (there are no letters "yo" and "ъ").
Sometimes the phrase is like: would citrus live in parts of the south? It is a fake copy!


[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №88602
 20.10.2013
Oh, you’re joking, and the ballerinas really have the strength to break a horse’s vertebrae with a leg.
WOW: if a concrete plate falls on the foot at the time of the impact - undoubtedly

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88601
 20.10.2013
Comments on the game Zombie Apocalypse:
I am sorry for zombies. They die twice in their lives.

[ + 33 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88600
 20.10.2013
Installation of video surveillance. Recently we put 5 cameras to one lady, a month later she called us with pretense. The essence of the pretense is that of the 8 cameras 3 does not work....It is difficult to explain to a person, without a hysterical laugh, these cameras do not work BECause they do not exist!!!!!!!! to
The most interesting thing that she didn’t believe and went to count them with the words "I’m that, foolish of yours", while we walked we laughed. For all my work, it’s Mega Fail!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №88599
 20.10.2013
In the report:

"-- You will have a wife - you will learn that you can fuck her from force 5-6 times a day for 40 minutes maximum, even if the weekend"

You are a giant, Daddy.
Married for 8 years



I would say a giant!
Married for 25 years

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88598
 20.10.2013
Asked a brother from Russia to buy a textbook on natural science for the 4th class in Russian - we did not find it.
I will try to send the textbooks either by banner or by mail, but I
I need an exact address to send. In view of our postal
Russia works in the Academy of Sciences for half-time as a layout
black hole, then the delivery time cannot be named, even when I will send.
And also to emphasize the exclusive good-neighborly character
Relations with your totalitarian hell are in the bastion of democracy.
Liberalism receives sendings to Belarus in the district
They are forced to travel to somewhere in Moscow.
Exclusively for our comfort.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №88597
 20.10.2013
On the way to work in the morning, I go to the store and say, pointing to the window:
-"I have this water, without gas, 2 liters"
-" No such is."
The brain screams: Well buy me water-i-i-i-i!!! (I really don’t use such a dryer)
-"Give me then a half cup."
-"Neither also."
There is still a 0.5 litre bottle on the window. And you think that of two options you will be lucky in any way.
Fuck it there!
-"This is a mule", calmly responds the seller in the image of the lady "a-la 80s".
“So why are they standing on your window?"I start to get angry.
The seller presses his shoulder and hides somewhere behind the cash machine.
-"Better if you had a beer with a mule"- I spoke shortly.
The morning was ruined.
I am for what? Water becomes a shortage, and in our city the mayor became the CEO of OJSC "Tomske pivo".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №88596
 20.10.2013
<Cosolapapaja_toys> I have a man lost (

<Gus_ne_s_Ray> probably dropped under the couch


[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №88595
 20.10.2013
We arranged a drunk in the shelter yesterday and the neighbor made the whole bed, and here he went today to change the bedding and there was a dialogue with the castilian:

Q: Can I change clothes?
K is passing.

Going in, she laid out a billy, the castilian looked at the spotted prostates and gave out:

K: I’m not going to change that dirty thing, go wash it first and bring it.

I went and bought a new set of beds and shuffle.

By the evening, the commander gathered everyone for Saturday, comes to our room and says

Going to Saturday.
The neighbor gives
- There is dirty, first go then I'll be on Saturday and I'll go out.

We ride like horses at the comedy eye for 5 rubles. I explained laughing =)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88594
 20.10.2013
Funny profile in the game:
Name: Nashville
Gender: female
My real name is MarkoFko!!! I am a very pessimistic and stupid girl!!! to
So honestly :)

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №88593
 20.10.2013
At night we lie with (d)evushka in bed.
Q: Can we try something new in sex?
(I): Well let’s go and what?
(d) Yes, FIG knows it, and what is there?
(I): Well... *reflective* Asian, anal, blonde, brunettes, big...

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №88592
 20.10.2013
Watched the film "Dog Heart" with his son - a younger student.
What a funny movie! He said.
When you realize that this movie is terrible, know that you have grown up.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №88591
 20.10.2013
here here :
to this:

I worked as a refueller on the gas station in Vladik for two years and during this time I refuelled “Oku” and “Lada” twice. by Kalina.”

For the fourth year I work at the gas station in Kaliningrad and I can hardly imagine what Russian cars look like.

And we, in the Russian depths, have a hard time imagining what the car tankers look like, because we fuel the cars ourselves.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №88590
 20.10.2013
Indo-Chinese vampires are suffering from a terrible form of procrastination.
Having encountered a bag or a mountain of rice on their way, they cannot do business until they have counted all the grains.
You are talking about the internet, the social network.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №88589
 20.10.2013
Did you highlight this advertisement about a new cold drug? "They"
Yes, I can say about any problem "Imudon helped", and this can be a person.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №88588
 20.10.2013
How can you steal the rights holders!! This is theft!! You are wasting their money!!! to
Yyy: Oh, they’re so poor at us – they don’t even have enough spoon! You have to eat black caviar with your hands!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna