I play a shooter with thriller elements. I walk through the corridor and hear two enemies discussing the found body:
Was he killed by the soldiers?
I doubt it. This is not a bullet wound.
I shoot both of them and look at the injury. It turns out that the body has no head. The MDA. It seems that Captain Evidence will no longer be promoted in the rank.

Here are the times when to watch a five-second video on YouTube you have to watch a twenty-second advertising video... :(

Dmitry: my friend caught the bride's bouquet at the wedding. I am now almost a married man.
Romance to Remember! You were a good co-founder ?
It is smoke! Who am I going to go to the pub on Friday?? to
Dmitry: Fuck, you can buy a second beer, put it in front of you and imagine we’re drinking together.
by Ilia: Aha! The grind from above!

XXX is Ah! Where did he disappear?
YYYYYYYYYYY
Do you remember that girl from my job? I showed you her photos.
XXX: Well, it was a matter. and iii?
YYY: Do you remember I was all thinking about how to catch her up?
XXX: I remember what next?
YYY: We were in the smoke together today.
I stand, I look at her, she looks somewhere in the sky thinking.
WOW: Suddenly her phone rings, and the bell is a melody from Blitch, which is Hollow.
WOW: I suddenly clings, she stops speaking, I approach her, I make a light firm smile and I say “your riatsu is strong.”
HGH: And how?
WOW: She looked at me for a few seconds, and then said so indifferently "you haven’t seen my bank yet"
Then we talked, talked, agreed to meet.
XXX is fun. ))
YYY: Further more fun, it’s now with me
Oh yeah yes? What are you doing?
WOW: What is what? I read manga.
XXX is Manga.
YYY: Well... Manga... now she’ll come back from the soul – let’s continue reading

Please note: as soon as Neptune was expelled from the holidays, flooding began in the Far East. Maybe it’s not too late to apologize?
I know it is disaster. But this coincidence is interesting.)

xxx: Every time an advertisement from an electronics store is from the zombie artist, in which the girl asks, "What will help me wake up and go to school?" - an innocent voice in my head suggests, "Pizduli?"

KickStar: Independence Day of Ukraine
From whom is independence?
Dmitry: Glory to Ukraine
Heroes of Glory
The Illy?
From you, Moskal Ibani
Johnny :s
I want them to depend on me.
Kickstar by Joe
There is imagination for this.
Imagine it
Johnny is OK.
So... I’m sitting on a large pipe with gas...
Slowly turn the valve.
Kickstar: The Naked
Tagged with :DD

Over the course of six months, he sent resumes through a website with job announcements, trying to find a job. No one ever answered. Today I got drunk and decided to call the last 20 people. What was my surprise when I learned that the resumes just didn’t reach the employer through this.
WEB WEB WEB WEB. I now have 17 interviews next week. Three more came...Gest!

Floods, rains and spring floods.

Yes, give the Ministry of Emergencies earthquakes to clear and deepen the river streams. Call this "emergency warning". You can get the same amount of money, or even more. And on TV you can boast for every cleared kilometer of the river (good, deep and even shipping now). years and billions of years. But it will not melt and save tens of times more.

Are all ministries like that?

Dmitry Ilyichev: we will take with you the VIP bed on the new stage%)))
Artem: you hear it)
Artem: I will not share the bed with you)

in technical support.
Client: Hi, I have an error when entering the site that the key medium is not inserted. What to do
Q. Do you have a key?
Client: Definitely not inserted. Thank you huge!

Handicapped

Comments on YouTube:

XXX: I used to work in a cell phone company, but I was fired!
so that as many people as possible learn about the secret code, thanks to whom
You can fill your balance with all mobile networks.We did this:
send (SMS free) with the text message: "******" on the number ****, and within 10 minutes came about 200r, for subscribers of the UKR: "******" on the number **** within 10 minutes
20 minutes and it works 100%.

UUU: Previously I was buried in a company with bucharics, but I was expelled. So I want as many people as possible to know about the secret code, thanks to which it is possible to get fucked. We did this: you send the most fucking of your company blueprints to the store, without money but with the text "give waterprints or we will break your espresso," to any McAvoy guard. About 200 puzzles come to your company in 10 minutes. For subscribers of Ukraine: "give voddari or we slam your eggs". It works 100%.

It is said that every dying Russian, a few seconds before his death, thinks of one thing - it was bad to give a loan, once it all happened?

(The name is real)
Ivan Shashilnikov
I was in this situation at work too.

No_Alex
Which of the described?

Ivan Shashilnikov
in the first

No_Alex
Who do you work for O_O?

Ivan Shashilnikov
The name that I can still work with is written on my family :(

Those who are jealous of ignorance

"We go to the clothes shop. I figured...
I think if a girl with a size of 5 buys a swimsuit with a push-up, then she definitely has problems... Well, at least with a sense of measurement.

The girl bought it not for the sake of increasing the volume, but because only a tough roof frame allows this farm to be fixed, so that it does not roll, like a student, and does not wave on the wind, like the ears of a spaniel. This is for the future, so that no questions arise.

Girl in size 6.

The cat, the shredder.

xxx: is it okay that the six-symbol box on gmail came in for the first time?
Mmm, I don’t know
I have only one there.
It is not a six-symbol.
XHH: Now you will fall face to face, you will fall and you will be told that this account is occupied.

Listened in Communication:

I didn’t think of him as another, but the symbiosis with us was awary. Like watermelon and mushroom in the mouth!"

I’ve been sleeping a lot lately, especially at work.

Amur region... Flooding at every corner... Saving furniture, animals... And only my friends - the cowboys are sitting waiting for when the beer from the shops will begin to wash, to sit from the balcony and catch the bottles with the hood... We have already developed a special hook for 0.5...))))

"...There were no more women...so you think? Her grandmother says that her recipe is more delicious than the one that her grandmother cooked and asks this blonde for a recipe for her cabbage cabbage! And then the grandmother asked what was going on with her computer and how to repair it and this girl wrote out everything to do no worse than a professional computer worker! What to say, I fell in love instantly."

Well, well, the dream of a Russian man - a woman like his mother can do everything, and you can sleep with her. Children are infantile.