bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 52 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84007
 11.07.2013
Comments on the news about a 32-year-old Moscow woman, who said that a real man should give her for pocket expenses at least 560 thousand rubles a month:
Q: Could she go?
Yyy: Close to the feet

[ + 31 - ] [24 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84006
 11.07.2013
Foltsvagen... it’s overwhelming every time.

What is the samba?

Did you have a buffalo in your childhood?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84005
 11.07.2013
I came to the mind with a glimpse: “I bring warmth and light to people.” - "No, I work at the TEC"
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
I am also in the TEC.
I am a young man))
I am a Maltese.)

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84004
 11.07.2013
Tea: The Fuck (Caps)
Nevermind: Have fun
Nevermind: Let the caps continue!
Tea: Give
Tea: ANU Call Me a Fool
Nevermind: A fool!
Tea: The Tea
Tea: twice as often

[ + 37 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84003
 11.07.2013
I sit with a friend in a cafe. We live talking about something. At the table behind us sits a 40-year-old girl with white hair and bright makeup. All the time we were sitting in the cafe, she was constantly calling someone and the conversation always took place according to this scheme: "Allo, Valyusha (Katyusha, Svetočka, Irishka), you can't imagine what happened to me. Dima came to work today and made me an offer...". After the fifth call, my girlfriend and I started chatting. She always called, but then somebody called her... And you won’t believe... From her phone loudly sounded “January’s whirlwind,” and the rains were choking...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №84002
 11.07.2013
Q: Is there a patent or copy-right to fire?
Yes, Prometheus has already been attached to the distribution.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №84001
 11.07.2013
The Father! Enlighten the parishioners! Why, with widespread prosperity, the laundry is overcrowded? Why does the government continue to raise taxes, politicians are sold, police cover criminals? Why do applicants have to stand for six months trying to get a simple signature under a stamp? Why does food damage the liver? Why are teenagers forced to prostitute? The righteous are despised by plebs, the traitors receive honorary prizes, the blasphemous enjoy the protection of the underdogs, the industry is paralyzed, the press waters the settlers... Why, Padre?! to
“You know, Peter... Just... Pizz... C! Full of c!
c) the border

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №84000
 11.07.2013
<BORG> I sit in the park on the bench, I don’t touch anyone. A little boy runs up with an ice cream in his hand and asks, “Uncle, do you believe in unicorns?” I, after thinking a little, answer: “I don’t believe.”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №83999
 11.07.2013
When a woman leaves you, who has occupied a lot of space in your life, there is so much free space that it is easy, without even suspecting the existence of each other, to accommodate a few new ones.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №83998
 11.07.2013
XXX: I still can't believe you've gotten rid of this sponge! Congratulations to you!! to

YYY: Well... in fact, it was he who left us ;)

xxx: sweetheart, remember if you did not live on the pen and then BACH!!!) By the way, you were abandoned.
And if you, by your own foolishness, went on naked pants and planted some sticky sickness on your neck, then for several years you were tired of dragging him and your common child, and he parasited on you and (sorry!) He regularly excreted on both of you without tearing from your neck, and suddenly in a miraculous way he separated from you – this is called “liberated”! Congratulations to you!!! to

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83997
 10.07.2013
I was walking with a girlfriend and her 5-year-old daughter. We came to the stop - there is pop. Healthy man, wide-armed, in black red and with a fairly long white beard. The girl walked around him, watched, then approached his mother and quietly asked, "Mom, what about Santa Claus, has Snowball died?" Even the pop itself has swung up :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83996
 10.07.2013
I walked along the road, the look fell on a single-use glove, ironically the wind blowed and showed me the "fact".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83995
 10.07.2013
I hate oats. And the milk. You put them on a plate, you wait for them to boil, and they stand in pots, pretending that they are not going to boil at all. But you just have to turn away, right away, fucking, the whole plate will be poured out!!! I’m still silent about milk!! to

[ + 0 - ] Comment quote №83994
 10.07.2013
to this:
...
Skyrim (17:14:36 today)
I’ve got a new album, I’m going to listen ;)

...

Skyrim (20:21:02 today)
I will never move from here.

Skyrim (20:22:15 today)
While listening - in 2 hours came five neighbors, asked the name of the group and one from the neighboring entrance through the balcony - where the album was rolling.

____________________

Listen to such a great thing!!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №83993
 10.07.2013
zot-inside: at work, the girl handed out to the system administrator: "The internet is too slow, make me access to the network not through the p". Such round eyes as I had never seen at the time with admin.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №83992
 10.07.2013
Today is Zam. by gen. Dirac read the resume of the applicant for the position of an employee in those. Department of
[14:25:27] Olga: - last place of work: service center LLC "Hands out of shoulders"... need to take...

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83991
 10.07.2013
Today I went to take a passport photo and understood why I don’t have a girlfriend.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83990
 10.07.2013
I will give for the summer to a family of 15-20 people who love loud music, often organizing holidays, scandals.
The presence and love of using a motoblock, motosilver, gasoline, etc. are welcomed.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №83989
 10.07.2013
to this:

Commissioner for the rights of the child Pavel Astakhov is concerned about the distribution in social networks of content that can harm children, reports RIA Novosti.

The official believes that the universal way to defeat immorality is to “destroy the entire internet.” For now, however, the authorities have to act with less radical methods and conduct an “endless struggle”, only responding to the distribution of prohibited content.

To my child the most severe harm is the information about the living of the children (and wife) of Astakhov in his own villa on the Azure Beach. The civil servant is...your mother.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №83988
 10.07.2013
Now I’m just drinking champagne and absolutely happy.
To be honest, for five years I woke up at five in the morning like a machine started, and, of course, it was hard for me to change my schedule. If you do something five years in a row for 50 weeks a year, one day you realize that it’s your only life and the other just isn’t.

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