bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №80347
 17.04.2013
not my own.
We lived next to the forest. One beautiful and quite ordinary morning, our neighbor Galina, as usual, went to work. The unusual thing was that on the way she found a frozen protein on the ground (we then never found out for what purpose she picked it up. Maybe on a necklace, maybe on a collar, or on the principle of "everything will work out in the farm"). In general, she took the white home and went to work herself. The son was already in school at that time, and the husband was returning from a business trip that day.

After a couple of hours, the chief looks into the department and tells us that Galkin's husband is calling with some strange questions, saying whether everything is okay with his wife, whether we have not noticed something strange and asks to send her home urgently.

In general, the protein was not dead, but very even alive. She warm up in the apartment and decided that she was the hostess here. And our Galia, in trouble for herself, from the morning blinked and left a note to her husband. White those blades throughout the apartment on drying and hanging. Especially stunned in the corridor on the loose horns. When the door to the apartment opened, he hid.

Now imagine your husband’s condition: he wasn’t at home for a week, he’s coming in, and there... BLINKS EVERYWHERE and a note “Dear, it’s for you!”

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №80346
 17.04.2013
She ate like a bird, half her weight a day.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №80345
 17.04.2013
Commentary on the film "The Evil Dead: The Black Book":
P.S to P.STo those who proclaim this film “the best horror of recent years”, I highly recommend watching the election debates of Gennady Zyuganov and Mikhail Prokhorov.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №80344
 17.04.2013
<Sarcasm>
Miss Russia in 2012. Well, the main thing is not killing people... Well, why a girl with two children know who is Marshak and Agnia Bartho... And where does she, a pupil of music school, know who wrote Polonez Oginsky? What about the earth around the sun...What is it to you, Copernicus? and :)
< / sarcasm>

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №80343
 17.04.2013
I realized that my brother somehow disliked me after he tried to sell me on eBay.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80342
 17.04.2013

by Alexander:
But fucking, you’re just going to roast now.
I rented an apartment last summer with a girlfriend.
After violent sex, we lie down, silence...
And there is the sound of an opening beer and the sound of a telescope.
Sasha, he heard me.
Check now
"Man, here is a good hearing"
– Yes!! to
OO OO
There was no more sex :(

July: O_O

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80341
 17.04.2013
XHH: I bring the client HASP- key for 1C. One of the administrators, standing in front of the server with the key, thoughtfully turns it in his hands, asks: "Where to insert it, in the ass?"
Without the left thought absolutely seriously answer: "1C recommends in the back".

Such rust and "Well if 1C recommends in the back" I did not expect))))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80340
 17.04.2013
Why do you often say "No" to any of my proposals?
I don’t understand why you’re upset? You even perceive my firm "NO" as "YES", well, in the extreme case "NOT NOW" and you act accordingly.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №80339
 17.04.2013
[14:54:40] Valek: It’s an indescribable feeling when you take a buchov printer and turn it around
Valek: You are slowly shaking.
[14:55:03] Valek: and from there the fox scratches like a horn of abundance
Valek: 6 pieces
Valek: all sizes and colors

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80338
 17.04.2013
I check the composition of the student on a foreign language, the subject is free time. At the end he writes: “But most of all in my free time I like to play a computer game "Dota". I’ve been playing it for 7 years and it doesn’t bother me. Now it’s clear why he goes for a couple every 2 weeks.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80337
 17.04.2013
xxx: like kissing me after mine, so please. And as minerals after me drink, so he wipes his throat.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №80336
 17.04.2013
I went home and thought unnoticed.
I slept for myself. Woke up from
The problem is that the monologue
Thoughts in the head turned into dialogue, and
The interlocutor severely interrupts me.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №80335
 17.04.2013
with Hubble about 2Gbps/sec
It’s like having the fastest car, but driving it only around the city, keeping the speed regime.
YYY: You have described about half the population of northern California now :)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №80334
 17.04.2013
XXX: Hi to you!
WOW: How is it?
XX: Take the dissertation into a mess. The girl in the printing room turned her papaka in her hands and said, “I don’t think she’s fat.”
XX: And you know... I fully realized the feelings of men with a small member...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80333
 17.04.2013
The company's administrator has included a policy on the terminal server which obliges to change passwords every 42 days. Once again on the request to change the password I entered "fuck" in the ENG layout... Ann no, does not give, there was already such a password.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №80332
 17.04.2013
111: What do you want to do for Dr. Olla?
Chapter 22: The Tent
Chapter 11: The Shallow :)
111: to create a paradise in a separate place
222: This is
111: Will you send a reference?
222 to Heaven.
At least in the tent.
I will buy you an army for 50 people.
111: and the Bayonne
222: I would have for three :$
222 or four)
In a tent for three usually four can fit ;)
333 The swinger tent.
222: You know a lot about tourism.
111: What did you want?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №80331
 17.04.2013
by Inna :
Do you rob?

The Witches :
Yes, and what about you?

by Inna :
I too, but why?

The Witches :
This is all declared by those people who do not agree to give us consumer goods for free.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №80330
 16.04.2013
Sunny, are you hungry?
Moore is yes :)
A tampon in the refrigerator. It is delicious ;)
O O O O O O
I have a gap! There is a pot in the refrigerator! and ?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №80329
 16.04.2013
The Habr. Google account “What to do with your data if you die”
foq: "With every successful login in Google, there is still a living user"
Foq: A good phrase :)
Tagged with: gmail Thank you for being alive.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №80328
 16.04.2013
My wife and I will never argue.
Do you have a girlfriend?
No, but we are not fighting!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna