bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112953
 04.05.2015
In Switzerland, they stick to the glass: “Thank you, grandfather, for your neutrality!”

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112952
 04.05.2015
Lenin lived, Lenin lived, Lenin will live. You are alive, there is no doubt. The dead are forgotten, the dead are not interested. Around Iljić, the passion does not stop to boil. His monuments are demolished every day in Ukraine. In Russia recently stopped the public dispute whether it should not be taken out of the mausoleum. But on May 9, the mausoleum with a bad name will again be covered with a fanery and clothes. The dead are not so afraid.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112951
 04.05.2015
News headline: "In Chuvashia tamada stole the iPhone of the bride right at the wedding". In principle, this is a complete characteristic of my homeland.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112950
 04.05.2015
A beautiful old custom.

News headline: "In Chuvashia tamada stole the iPhone of the bride right at the wedding". In principle, this is a complete characteristic of my homeland.
and----
So it is customary at weddings, just steal the entire bride - not stolen.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №112949
 04.05.2015
What does my wife do?
The House, the Hobbit.
The Hobby?
Hobby does not leave time.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112948
 04.05.2015
XX: The cat of the cat. Take 3/4 of the tablet. As if she gave. The child rushes - the mother, Barcy spit the pill! On the automate, I take a cat, write in my throat what was brought to me. Then it came out that it was a piece of spat :facepalm: so it looks like a quarterback

UUU: when the English bulldog lived, he ate everything :P, he could eat a net of roasted onions, or baby nipples %), the peak of his idioticism was the eating of a courtyard carpet from a coconut bed on a rubber substrate :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: Three days you tried to die....but I just didn't get away from it, they pulled the giardi from that world.
Like he ate my mom’s diamond earpiece :facepalm:, so I went after him with a bag and gloves, almost a week, caught :-). So to close the half of the matter, but to pull something out...

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112947
 04.05.2015
Online shop of clothes, comments under the product.

Good morning, is the dress material tight?
YYY: Its density is so high that space and time are distorted around it! The Black Hole Effect!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №112946
 04.05.2015
Every mother knows that a child is in trouble. I have two of them! They developed a clever strategy, and while one is disgusting, the other is noisy to distract the enemy!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112945
 04.05.2015
Consultation of neurologist
The condition of a person after a blow to the head.
Hi, tell me I hit my husband with a hammer to beat meat on the head, accidentally, the wound went blood, the wound was shallow, somewhere 1 cm, the blood stopped with peroxide, the condition of my husband when I hit him was drunk, after the blow was lying on the couch, he was sick, 1 time...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №112944
 04.05.2015
Regarding programs and foreign films, here the principles need to be revised. But domestic films (Soviet - all, Russian - 99%) are already paid by us at the stage of production. Because they are filmed for the state account. The ticket to the cinema is a payment for the service of the movie show: a large screen, stereo sound, a comfortable chair, pop-corn at the child's right and beer at the copper on the left, comments behind the back... - for this you pay. The director, actors, screenwriters and other costumers with grimers received their salary for this. And the film studio got its "gen contractors". So for some reason, supporters of copywriting say that the film studio (the studio, and not the actors / directors, who, according to copywriters, are starving) should receive another 75 years some money for the products it has ordered and handed over to the customer. What is a finite legal nonsense on all the laws in force, besides the same - about their "dumb rights" on our "leave".
As for the film productions of the Soviet period, I personally believe that since art belongs to the people, all citizens of all countries that formerly formed the USSR have the full right to free circulation of Soviet film productions.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112943
 03.05.2015
Answer by mail-ru
Q: What kind of bread do you usually buy? In a slice or a whole slice?
hh: a whole bucket in a cut)
zz: If the elephant looks to the left, I take a kiss, if to the right, it is cut. And if straight - I don't take bread, but I take champagne and candy.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №112942
 03.05.2015
Andrei SE about Remark: Three Comrades
Probably 30 percent of this book occupies the description of smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol. The main characters just fill their problems with alcohol.
===
Professor Timirzayev about Remark: Three Comrades
This is something else!
But in Bocacho, monks fuck the gardener, in Rabla, the hero is rubbed with a goose, and in Pushkin, the archangel bites the devil for her.
You know what? You better not read books at all, don’t have to. Because even in the Old Testament you can find such...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112941
 03.05.2015
On the porn tracker among the distributors found GTA 5. Yes, the perfect section for the pirate version of this game.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112940
 03.05.2015
If you fall out of the 10th floor window, don’t scream to your neighbors from the 7th that the flight is normal.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112939
 03.05.2015
Helped a friend for free in the settings and installation of licensed software - pirate, took money from the company. He provided medical care on the street to the patient - a pirate, took work from doctors and still provided services without appropriate education and license. I watched the TV in the guests - quite a thief, the TV manufacturers will go bankrupt.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112938
 03.05.2015
“Because I can’t say, I say, I arm myself and buy a armored jeep in the event of the US default, the subsequent economic collapse, the rise of crime and the crowd of hungry, desperate outsiders, whom I will hardly push and shoot.
The public will not understand.
But you can pretend to be a monster who believes in zombies, and calmly prepare for the hour of the hour.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112937
 03.05.2015
One thing is not to use a service, and another is to use and not to pay. As much as you want, you can justify yourself by not losing anything from the owner for this. But nevertheless he made this service and spent his time and money on it and he has the right to dispose of it, and you do not, until the money has been paid for it.
-----------
Moreover, we do not have the right to order it, even if we have paid. Only to use, with very large restrictions. If the content disc is covered, I will have to go and buy a new one. Such is. No keys or labels will be saved.
I will have to pay a second time for what I have already paid for. and Brad? Yes the shit.
If the content didn’t fit me, I won’t be able to get my money back. If the purchased refrigerator is +10 instead of the temperature I expected, I will return it and I will get the money back. If the disc is overwhelmed by a young developer’s stool instead of what I expected to see there, I’ll have to understand and forgive.
Unreceived income is a song. I won’t buy anything if I couldn’t get it for free. I will not, and that’s all. What is worth my money, I will buy. Knowing what I buy is my right as a consumer. I am trying to put a cat in a bag. And this cat will not be taken back if it is ugly and smells bad.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112936
 03.05.2015
Go your ass with this approach "let tricks how to do so I don’t steal". Because of such nonsense, neither Valve nor many other companies are releasing more games that can be played alone without the network. Therefore, we will not see Half-Life 3 in particular.
------------
Go your ass with this approach "all problems from pirates".
With online games you can crack and crack the bubble and the profit will only grow.
And the volume of sales of single projects will decline over the course of the year and will only fall.
So - that Valve put a penis on you not for - pirates and trackers, but for economic reasons. It is better for them to have you all the time than to fuck you once and break up.
Nothing personal, it’s just business.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №112935
 03.05.2015
She: Moore
He is m?
She: Just nice to call you and hear the response) you are, and it's great)
There is something so sweet inside me.
She: like a mixture, only affectionate very much and want to cry
He is :o
He is a stranger!
He is a stranger!
She is : :(

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112934
 03.05.2015
I gave birth a year ago, after pregnancy I was noticeably improved. In a year I lost two or three more kilograms. A day ago I heard from my husband that I "have gained some weight". It turns out, he judges by jeans: before the jeans were sitting freely, and now it is completely in the load of steel. And the fact that it is other jeans, three sizes smaller, he, as it turned out, does not bother...

Sometimes I’m afraid that if a British black basketball man comes home instead of me, this person will first not notice anything and then ask, “Masha, have you shaved your hair?”

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