Navalny has found a single-Russian billionaire.
So are the news.
Let him try to find the Unicorn.

One day, in a student school, the boys fell down and gave a comrade an inflatable black woman. We were all delighted to get drunk and went out for a walk in the evening, but one of us was too drunk we put him on the bed, put a puppet next to him and left. In the morning, he woke up and fucked the doll. The name of the name)))

One day I wrote a letter to Mr. Frodo and asked him for a bowling. Eventually, under the tree was a soft toy and a letter from my grandfather. It’s crazy, but you didn’t write the size of your foot.

Reddit users talk about their most embarrassing and uncomfortable gifts. Do you think getting socks or deodorant for your birthday is ridiculous? Read the collection:



1) My mom’s friend’s son came to my doctor without an invitation and gave me his report on geography. Passive to you, Barrett.



On my 13th birthday, my friend gave me a rope...He said, “Now you can play with your cat.” I did not have a cat.



When I was 10 years old, I told my grandfather that I wanted to give them a brick to break their TV and then they would buy me a new one. On my birthday, I got a very beautifully packed box with bricks inside. Fuck, I miss my grandfather.



4) I received a table game as a gift, which did not get half of the details, and a couple of days later I was asked to return it.



The last time my aunt saw me was when I was four years old. At the age of thirteen, she gave me a T-shirt with a Spider-Man.



When I was 18, about 20 of my friends gave me a surprise by having a party in my basement. As a gift, one of my friends gave me a box of coconut chips on which all of my friends wrote. He explained his choice as follows: "Nobody warned me that we would arrange you a surprise, I learned about everything in an hour, panicked, looked around home in search of a suitable gift option, and noticed at the last moment this box."



When I was 18, my mother told everyone to give me only socks, and I got only socks.



8) A fellow group member gave me a female mannequin (the upper half of the body) for adulthood, the set also included underwear and other items of clothing to dress the plastic lady in the "original," according to him, way.



9) One day my mom gave me a ugly underwear. It cost a dollar and was broken – one leg hole was smaller than the other. She gave me five pairs of that shit. Once again I got a candle.



When I was 12, my grandmother gave me half of my billiards, and the other half she gave to my younger brother a month later. We do not have a billiard or a billiard table. This is not the only ridiculous gift from my grandmother.



- A bag with folded tools and broken chopsticks, which she collected while working in a hairdresser.



Two t-shirts and rubber sweaters to make me look stylish in the summer. T-shirts were terrible colour and size XXL (initially she gave them to my grandfather, but he found them big). I was eight at the time, but my grandmother said, “Let him grow up! “” They were stolen from the hotel where Grandpa and Grandpa once rested.



"When I got the rights, my grandmother decided to mark it and gave me a travel pharmacy. The only disadvantage: all the items in it were pink and the bag itself was large-sized "Barbara".



She has signed for various magazines such as Reader's Digest, Ranger Rick, National Geographic. Knowing that I love to read, she carefully picked up a few pieces, packed them and handed them to me. And I thought, "Oh, at least some normal gift," and then I began to list the magazine...I opened a page that depicted a girl in a bikini, her body was carefully wrapped and painted with a marker. I scrambled further and everywhere the “suspicious” and “disgraceful” images were carefully scratched by the marker. It turned out that my grandmother, being a deeply religious woman, scrupulously scrutinized every page of all magazines and painted all the shame to save me from temptation.



11) I was once presented with a scotch-called box of cloves, all filled with O_o’s cloves.



12) My best friend gave me a silicone ear and a Van Gogh card inside which was written, “I always listen to you.” It was the strangest, but coolest gift I’ve ever received.

A graduate son and friends went on a tour a day ago. We rented tents, sleeping bags, everything. They destroyed a camp on the shore of Obi. At three o’clock it was cold and we went home. by Taxi.

Two gas company employees, a senior training instructor and a young trainee examined the meters in the cottage village.

They parked their truck at the end of the street and went on foot, entering every house to check the meters.

After checking the counter in the last house, they went out.

The owner of the house, a woman of fifty years of age, accompanied them by the gaze from the window of her kitchen.

The senior instructor offered his junior employee to run back to the truck to prove that the forty-year-old man could outrun the young man.

When they had run almost halfway, they realized that the woman from the last house was running right behind them.

They immediately stopped and asked her what had happened.

“When I saw two gas drivers rushing away from my house,” the woman replied, “I decided it was better for me to run away too! »

A shopping center was opened near the house. I went out with my wife to admire. While his wife went to his women's departments, he went down to the basement. Motorcycles and scooters are sold. I am standing, looking, pretending to buy my father in the village. Prices from 40 and above.

Suitable consultant, a guy aged 23-25, then our dialogue:

Good morning, you are interested, tell me, etc.

Okay, so I look at it, suddenly I think 😉

He- I can show a new entry, there is one option, you will definitely like it, it is just my dream)))

I- What a modest dream you have, a total of 90,000)))

He- With a salary of 18,000 consultant is just a dream)))

And we just opened vacancies (with training) for machinery for production. We produce mining equipment. Salary for the time of study (2 months) - 18000, how much he currently earns. from 40,000 The stalls are new, the salary is white, the full social package, and so on.

The answer:

I’ll be better off with 18,000 consultants, but I won’t go to the factory. The factory is bottom.

Good luck to you, Andrei (beijik looked), cops on the dream. Or just dream.

And the factory is not the bottom, and who thinks so, we are not on the way)))

We shared an interesting secret:

If your job is an engineer\electric\sysadmin, or anything else related to the technology and in a large office - a great life hacker: if you go through the office, it doesn't matter where, in the business, or

Go to the bathroom or go to the bathroom for lunch, take the wire with you. It does not matter which - let it be a network cable, power cable, or in general the bride of a wire wire of unknown origin. Those who are less agile will not get to you with their problems. “Oh! Here is he! And stop, with the wire goes, in the affairs means, okay, then, "those who are more naughty and get stuck with the problem can be pointed to the wire to say, "Listen, I shash this, in general let us later." Shared a lifehack man, who has been walking with wire in his office for 5 years, yesterday tried, today I continue - WORK)

Message of the teacher:

Fifteen years ago, I had an exam. He answered well, I was already going to put him 5 in the count, but here, trouble, only

The word "start" right out of the head (everything in life happens). I tell him:

Give me this...

What is? ... →

"Hu, like her, with whom all the students come to the exam,... the guy terribly red and got out of his pocket a huge sparkle.

So... it extends. And now, by the way, he became a professor, we work at the faculty.

Below is an excerpt from the Cape Times newspaper (Cape Town, South Africa). “I promised to keep his identity secret,” said Jack Maxim, a spokesman for Sandton Sun Hotel, Johannesburg, “but I can confirm that it no longer works. We asked him to clean up in the elevators, and he spent four days performing the assignment. When I asked him why it took him so long, he replied, “Well, so the building is 20 floors and there are elevators forty, two on each floor.” “At the end of the day, we realized that he thought there was an elevator on each floor, and he cleaned every elevator twenty times. We had to fired him. This is the best solution for all sides.”

Ten years ago, we went from Anapa in a composition: I, my wife (now formerly) my cousin, and my wife's sister. That is four. I am driving, my wife on the right, and my brother and sister on the back. The car was Mitsubishi L200. We were driving, and I got tired, already at two o’clock in the night, terribly breaking my sleep.

I’m looking for a safe place to stop, stop. I see a well illuminated gasoline. I turn to her, stand up safely, fifty meters from the nearest column, I do not turn off the engine, because it is already cool, and so that ventilation works.

I put on the parking lot and the towel, and just dropped on the chair, instantly cut off. And, as it often happens when you fall asleep in the car after a very long ride, I dream of a road, of course.

And my brother and wife's sister, it turns out, in the process of a long sitting next to them became very friends and they were unable to sit just so, and they decided to strengthen the friendship with sexual association. Blessed as they thought that slowly, covering up with a plow, nobody will know, since we and our wife slept as dead. Well, or maybe they were invariably intrigued by danger and all this aroused. In short, they began to quietly shake the car. And, in the process of consolidating friendship, it becomes stronger and stronger.

And I sleep. I dream of a road. The engine moves, the car moves. Suddenly, what clicked in my sleeping brain, I open my eyes, and I instantly realize that I fell asleep at the steering wheel, and that the car is rushing straight to the refuelling column!

I woke up that there was urine: - Hold on!

The steering wheel left, the brake to failure, almost bended the brake pedal from effort. The car both stood and continued to stand, only with the front wheels turned to the left. The heart missed five beats, the back was wet. I started to let go and began to shake. I turn on the lights in the cabin, everything is on me. The woman from the neighbor’s chair was upset. And behind two, with my wife’s sister sitting riding on my cousin’s brother. Their eyes are very and very scared. And my brother, releasing his girlfriend's breast, says with such a strange voice: "I still hold that you are doing it?

In short, I had no more sleep in either eye, fear I endured. Since then, on long journeys in the car, when you have to sleep, I warn everyone not to bounce the boat. from sin.

PS Curiously, my brother married my ex-wife’s sister, and have been living together since then. This is how it happens.

The happiest people in life are those who do not yet know that they are unhappy.

Two gas company employees, a senior training instructor and a young trainee examined the meters in the cottage village.
They parked their truck at the end of the street and went on foot, entering every house to check the meters.
After checking the counter in the last house, they went out.
The owner of the house, a woman of fifty years of age, accompanied them by the gaze from the window of her kitchen.
The senior instructor offered his junior employee to run back to the truck to prove that the forty-year-old man could outrun the young man.
When they had run almost halfway, they realized that the woman from the last house was running right behind them.
They immediately stopped and asked her what had happened.
“When I saw two gas drivers rushing away from my house,” the woman replied, “I decided it was better for me to run away too!”

A girl sits in an unmanned taxi and wonder:
What an unusual car without a driver!
The car responded:
“You know, I’m an artificial intelligence for business, and a taxi is a job.

I work for one operator. Not so long ago, just half a year. And as soon as I got arranged, I was told about several subscribers who became a local legend. I recently had the privilege of communicating with one of them.

I will call him Vitaly. He called the CC several times a day, but no one wanted to communicate with him. The fact is that Vitaly has a speech defect and Turret syndrome (neurological wound, a person involuntarily matures). According to the rules, if the subscriber matures, the specialist asks not to use non-normative vocabulary 2 times, the third time recommends to calm down and call again.

The first time I communicated with him 3 months ago, when I was still a trainee, he immediately warned me that his mat flew involuntarily, apologized in advance. He was unable to name his ancestry, but named the code word correctly (the operator can provide all the information about the number if you call the true FIO, or the code word). The first consultation lasted about 15 minutes, many of the words he said I simply couldn’t understand and constantly asked. He thanked me for a long time and we said goodbye.

The other specialists looked at me with astonishment, asked why I communicated with him, he mates, can't call FIO. When I told them that he had a code word at all, everyone was very surprised.

The next day I was called to the quality service department. Asked about this subscriber, and said that he left me thank you and asked at the next call to connect him immediately with me.

Now Vitaly began to call less often, approximately once a week. The guide wrote us detailed instructions about subscribers similar to Vitaly. The "one consultation - 3 minutes" rule no longer applies to such subscribers.

If he calls, he immediately asks me to translate, if I am busy, he waits. As Vitaly explains this, "you are the only one who started communicating with me, and now I want to communicate only with you."

It is strange that the government has previously been involved in such cases. Strange that the other guys who work could not get into a position and just listen to the person. No one is insured from such cases, and anything can happen, treat it with understanding.

Don’t count money in other people’s pockets. Start with a hole in your own.

Metropolitan of Belgorod and Starooskolsk John on the evening of the anniversary of the beginning of the Great Patriotic War said that the war was won by the baptized people, and the dead unbaptized soldiers of the Red Army, who "were born already in the godless time", became sacrifices brought for the godless.
This is not the first, and not the last, darkness. It is logical to continue the associative series: the mass extermination of Jews by the Nazis, since they are also unchristed. Only here the overall picture does not fit the burned villages, often to the ground. Despite the negative attitude toward religion in the USSR, in the villages, almost all were believers. Interestingly, could John, looking into the eyes of the Belarusians, call Khatyn the ruined fort of the wicked? So Metropolitan Belgorod is either an idiot or a traitor of his spiritual office, pouring water on the mill of atheists.

The country is ruled by a strong hand. It’s bad when you hit it in your pocket every day.

Pensions are the alimony that the state pays to us for living together.

The Europeans...

The European Games of Table Tennis in Minsk. Fu Yu won from Portugal. In the final she defeated Han Yin from Germany. Third place was played by Ni Xiaoyang from Luxembourg and Yan Xiaoshin from Monaco. Bronze was taken.