General Director (advertising agency) on banner design, considering the layout:
Director: You have forgotten to dart a bee with a frog face.
This is a boy bear with teeth like a rabbit’s.
I: Somewhere in this whole story, I feel the illogicity right in my ass.

Have you been asked?
and me? I am a columnist. You can not ask me, I will tell you everything without asking.

I rarely had a nightmare. I dream that I go to the kitchen, and there is no dryer with dishes. He whispered while he slept. No, shit what it is. It seems to be a dream. I wake up, I sleep. I go into the kitchen, three times.

In general, there are cautious representatives of customers who know exactly why a counterfeit is needed. They have a watermelon there in the servers below, cooling up. One of the ventilation manufacturers saw a small server room with a properly equipped hot outlet. They decided not only to heat the environment, but also to use the heat properly for their benefit. They put a small brewery unit, pleased with their home.

Deposited 19714
I was walking in the street and I wanted to sneeze. It swells in the nose, there is no strength. Do you think I’ll be like a deer in the light of a spotlight running down the street, choosing next to whom I can sneeze? seriously? Say thank you for turning around and covering me with a hand or a cloth. By the way, small children in the transport usually sneeze from the soul and sprinkled everyone with saliva and saliva - it's normal, right? All the rest, except for young mothers, can get sick... And sneezing about yourself is very harmful, my acquaintance so tricked to damage the vocal ligaments.

The news:
It is worth noting that DiCaprio, who is an ardent defender of nature, smoked e-cigarettes during the party, and already in the limousine in his hands noticed a bottle of alcohol.

Congregatio: Em... Can anyone explain to me how the first part of the phrase, about nature, is related to the second, about cigarettes and alcohol? Do environmentalists not smoke or drink? Or should you drink and smoke? Or what?

Lizardian: It feels like you had to write anything – "It is worth noting that DiCaprio, who is a fierce defender of nature, is a man from the planet Earth, dressed in a suit and his nose does not grow hair".

Let go 19721, spring has begun - the morning has begun in the collage? Always delighted with hysterical ovulations, which everyone owes everything. Of course, everyone should get a rabbit and a barley by 25. Of course, "Joppa will get older" is such a serious medical argument! The masic must have a mother of a model appearance and with delicious chicks ahead.

Re:...the beast, having stood on the sinful land one and a half meters from me, directed me with a straight look from above down, turned to a friend and said loudly, shaking his eyes: "Kaaaaak, but I am beaten by gyruchi!" She passed by, slightly pushing my shoulder.
Attention, the question: what kind of behavior did I provoke this?

One fact of its existence – obviously! and ;-)

And if you are serious, then do not take such people and ugly situations close to your heart. Just imagine what a black woman should be in this girl's shower! Harmonious and happy people do not suffer from such deviations, as they are busy with their own development and building their lives. It is clear that this dark diva does not shine with either intelligence (weight problems can be a consequence of illness) or humanity (zero empathy, behavior at the level of "I should all", "who is not like me - has no right to be", etc.) I suspect that this person is willing to humiliate and humiliate everyone in a row, except for those with whom communication is beneficial. Self-affirming at the expense of others is a banal, but common strategy.

The HHH:
Oh well marriage! Of course, before the industrial era, everyone was healthy and died by mistake! (If you ask my opinion, the mistakes were judicial)

19721: Fairy - telling about your "happiness", to present yourself with a little bit: an uneducated, vicious, envious fool. The child has no money for toys (by the way, the toys are not needed to remember them, but for development - yes, some parents are worried about such nonsense), the child cries out things from friends, has no corner, lives with his parents. She is afraid that her husband will escape from such "happiness". The young ass, yes. The bad news is that it will get old anyway.

to this:
The saying "all changes for the better" was killed by programmers.

Their regular "updates" and "improvements" of long-known programs (or entire operating systems) only raise the question: "WHAT HUNDRING ALL BUTTONS ON OTHER PLACE AND ALL WORKS DIFFERENT??". and the desire to hit the screen embodying the face of this programmer. And Matt...

A fool, right? Are the programmers involved? and :-)
The first principle of the programmer:
Does it work? Do not touch anything!

I am speaking as a programmer.

And after the updates it is to marketers some, probably... Or how they call those who need to sell the same thing on a regular basis.

Some believe that they irritate others as bearers of a certain social role, as a mother with a wheelchair or a small child, as a grandmother, as a teenager, etc.
Do not fool yourself, others do not notice the legions of young mothers, teenagers and grandmothers. And if you irritate someone, then irritation is caused by you - specific behavior, inability to behave normally in public places and count with other people. Passers have many of their concerns, they are unlikely to specifically hate certain groups of people, they have neither the strength nor the time to do so.
Just think about it.

A true man should have two qualities: to be able to prove to a woman that he is worthy of her in pursuit, and not worthy, when separated.

Dutch Investigator

My old friend, former KGB-Bashnik Yuri Tarasovich, has lived in the country in recent years. His daughter Oksana considers herself very smart and independent, and therefore never asks her father for advice or help. With stubbornness she went to her father, and with mind... to herself, probably:
“Dad, what can you advise me if you don’t even have a camera in your phone?”

Last spring, Oksana suffered a serious accident.
She drove on the “green” and struck the embassy car filled with a bunch of Negroes in the “boch”.
Both cars are under record, the blacks are also broken, but all are alive, well though she herself remained unharmed.
The trouble was another: the broken blacks shouted in one voice that they were riding the “green”. There were no video recorders. Word against word.
In addition, the Negro had a very valuable witness – a police officer, among other things. On his day off, he was sitting on the street at a plastic table near a cafe, drinking coffee and watching the crossroads like a palm.
So, he vowingly claimed that the blacks were driving on the “green” and Oksana on the “red”.
Millions of claims for damages to Negro’s health have been blurred, not to mention deprivation of rights.
Yuri Tarasych wanted to take this trouble on himself, conduct his own investigation and figure out what to do, but Oksana cut off:

Don’t get involved, you’re under pressure. Sit down and watch football. I will do it myself.
You may have been a good detective, but when did that happen? Forty years ago, in another country. Now it is different! A very different life where you’re just a small child!
All, don’t shake me, daddy, the head and so bad.

Oksana, an experienced lawyer, knocked his wings, knelt the grain, and refused, say, a losing case, against us a whole, not the smallest African country, plus a Moscow police officer.
Then the lawyer appeared more expensive, the result from him was roughly the same, only he glued much more grain before leaving.
The court was approaching, Oksana was crying all the time and Tarasychu, finally managed to find out some details of the case from the daughter.
What was the general surprise and confusion when the chief witness, the senior lieutenant of the police, stood up in court and said:

- Your honor, this citizen was driving on the lighting signal, but these black comrades on "Volvo" broke on the "red", from which they suffered, and that I showed the opposite in the preliminary investigation, so I did not understand the question of the investigator.

The judge knocked a hammer and ruled in favor of Oksana. The insurance company fully paid for the killed car and even the embassy of the African country expressed its regrets to Oksana.
Yuri Tarasovich congratulated, praised the daughter and asked:

Why did the witness change his testimony?
Did the hell know him? Per his conscience got stuck, or maybe he saw my determination, was frightened and realized that I would not leave this way, I will go to the end.
Maybe maybe maybe...

And only to me Tarasych secretly told "where the legs grow"
The day before the trial, he carried out his small country investigation and spent exactly 20 minutes on it. There were only three calls.
At the first call, he found out that the witness was not just a Moscow mint, but by “pure coincidence,” a mint that protects the embassy itself.
By the second call, Yuri Tarasych learned that on the day of the accident, from the very morning, the rain froze and the cafe did not exhibit tables on the street at all.
And with the third call Tarasych disturbed the mint himself and told him about the content of the two previous...

I persuade Tarasych to tell Oksana everything, but the old man refuses: "She is so independent and proud of me, she will be offended..."

First about upgrading to Windows 10 a small icon in the taskbar, then a small pop-up window began to appear, now an embarrassing window opened to almost the entire screen... I fear that Mr. Gates will soon start to call and persuade to update, and if then I do not agree, then one day in the apartment will break hard men in black costumes and with solvers in their hands, and will force to upgrade to anything.

Today I broke the turmeric. The day does not go wrong.

I came to a friend.sitting a telephone watch.going advertisement as the intestine calls the brain-husband of a girlfriend clearly from a mess.call on his mobile phone-takes.silently listening.begins dressing on the question of the wife you are where? The response-intestine called-beer demanded and joyfully jumped out.

Who do you trust more, politicians or meteorologists?

On the grave of a good programmer should be an epitaph:
Successfully pushed to origin/master.

And if you irritate someone, it means that you are irritating – specific behavior,... it is unlikely that they specifically hate certain groups of people.

I was at a stop last summer. I am waiting for my route, dressed in fresh, moderately closed clothes, the same hour as a shower, a haircut, a face without makeup, but cared for. I stand with a neutral expression of the face – I think about affairs for the day. Here I am just fat, more precisely, in your terminology "girucha halimi".
From the bus with dignity sails out. No seriously. Beautiful face, light hair in "the careless" beam, glasses with smoky semi-transparent glasses, quality makeup in the style of "new". Expensive summer dress made of flying fabric of fashionable yellow color and fashionable length "in floor", expensive sandals. In his left hand gracefully holds an iPhone in a yellow blanket, headphones are either yellow or golden... In general, the beauty, as if from a photo session from a fashion magazine.
I didn’t watch closely, I didn’t even look straight, I was just instinctively attentive to what was going on around me.
In general, the diva floats out, behind her, obviously, a girlfriend - dressed easier, less beautiful. And the diva, having stood on the sinful land one and a half meters from me, mirrored me with a straight glance from above down, turned to a friend and said loudly, shaking her eyes: "Kaaaak, but I am beaten by gyroups!" She passed by, slightly pushing my shoulder.
Attention, the question: what kind of behavior did I provoke this?