When there is war, take care of yourself and your loved ones and think with your head, not your ears.

DPS post at the entrance to Nerungri (Southern Yakutia), 2016. I go to a Toyota Sequoia with Moscow numbers, the car is loaded under the roof, there is a powerful mud rubber. A young man stops me. He checks the documents, goes by the car, wrinkles and asks, "Why did you get such a rubber? You came from Moscow and you think there are no roads in Yakutia?” I, inside, smile and say, “I don’t think, I know!” As a result, he demanded back the documents and spent half an hour browsing through all the bases, including, probably, Interpol, what a redis came to visit them. Nothing was found, very upset returned the documents and said: "I usually wait here in 2 days for the third. If you are an honest person, on the way back you will find me or my colleagues here and tell us that we have good roads, of course?” I had to agree and cuddle, hiding a smile. After a month and a half on the way back, the post was closed, and a dishonest man had to return. I did not leave a note.
In 2018, I ride the same car and the same rubber again. The road is empty, dark, the DPS post I pass around the hour of the night. On it, I am stopped by an elderly haishnik with obvious Caucasian roots, checks documents, asks to get out of the car. I get out of the car after four o'clock, I pull. He lights me in the face, and I sneeze. “Go to the post!” Opanki, why am I so violated that they are leading up to the post? I go after him. On the post, he points to the chair, gets a cake and pouches into a glass of tea. “Eat and drink tea.” I try to refuse – I crash into the steel look of a professional law officer. I drink and give cake, although it is delicious. “Are you in a hurry? “Where are you going to sleep?” No, I say, I am not in a hurry, I was gathering in the city in the cabin to pokemon and continue to drive on the star. “Clearly. I am on duty. In the corner we have a couch, go to bed, at 6 am I will raise you up. You are tired, I forbid you to drive in this state.” It was said in such a harsh, caring tone that he did not object, laying on the couch and perfectly pokemary until dawn. I got another cup of tea in the morning. While drinking, the haishnik asks me, "You were here two years ago, too?" I almost drowned with tea, I don't fige myself, I think the second year the local haishniki pastured me! I tell him about my meeting with the young man two years ago, about my work throughout Yakutia. The elderly man smiles: “I was waiting, all looked at your car, noticeable. I remember how a colleague told me two years ago about a similar car on mud rubber and everyone was upset that these Moscovites sit in their capital and think that there are no good roads anywhere else. You do not offend him, he is a good guy, just he from Nerungri in the car himself never left, other roads of our have not seen, and in our city they are really not bad! " I looked, I remembered the other Yakutia roads, on which in the summer after the rain, the fours on the cabin collapse, and I say, "You tell him that I, as an honest person, told you that in Nerungri the expensive are good, and the lane "Lena" has become good, but the rest of the roads are still waiting for their hour. And if he is also an honest man, he will agree!” He put off the apple and went on.

Two issues on the agenda today:
1st How to produce nails.
2nd Flight to Mars.
Since the nails we have learned to do, we immediately move to the second question.

No matter what kind of nation you are, it is important not to be a Nazi.

My mom is very good. In the 1990s, she hung on order to feed three children. She worked, planted a garden, and hanged at night to get on time. Once a aunt, the wife of my father’s brother, said that since my mother is well-trained, all her nephews should walk bound from head to foot. Mom was even confused. But my brother did not get confused and said that since my aunt is chasing a car for sale, we, her nephews, must always walk drunk.

“Daddy, if we kill all the bad people, will only the good ones remain?
There will be only murderers.

Last year I watched the series "The Servant's Tale" and I didn't think about how they were all so friendly in such a short time.

My thoughts now: Oh, this is how.

Allow in the Middle Ages divorces and witches on fires would not have to be burned.

Port and Port

In 1940, after the accession of Latvia to the USSR, Leonid Utysov came to Riga.
He came to a famous Jewish carpenter and asked to make a suit.
I’m only three days in Riga.
“You’ll get the costume tomorrow,” the prostitute replied completely indifferently.
How will you succeed? Leonid Osipovich was surprised.
- We have no planned farming yet, - explained the murderer.
I would like the new costume to look no worse than that.
And Utesov showed for his best costume, worn on the occasion of the "foreign" tour.
The port walked around the artist, examining every seam, every fold.
Who made it to you?
— Polyakov, — proudly called the artist of the famous Moscow closer.
“I’m not interested in the name,” he cut off, “I ask who he is by profession?”

To make an anecdote that surpasses the Russian reality is no longer possible. Konstantin Rakhine was fired from Konstantin Rakhine Theatre School.

The morning. When you wake up, your child stands at your bed and holds the breakfast he has prepared for you.

It breaks you down in the clutches at the same time from mindfulness and from thought:

What did he do that he had to think of it?

Yesterday I went for business in Shushara. I wait for a friend at the supermarket. Here to me, wandering, a man, characteristic of the outside, is heading. Apparently, either a bomb, or a very close to this social element. And, accordingly, the intentions with which he went were clear at first sight.

Can I turn to you? (He started out kindly)

I guess about money?

No is! Do not think! I have money!

Having said this phrase, he took out a bunch of coins from his pocket... Then he thought, and sadly continued:

I just need more...

I started dating a man who was divorced twice and was in active search. He had a tie of keys, as in the wardrobe, 20 pieces.

Then, in the process of communication, I learned that he divorced his first wife and married her cousin. In both marriages he has a daughter. He lives with everyone, he has the keys to all the apartments, he serves his wives with cars, he organizes repairs, he holds children, he treats everyone (he has a large clinic). No one in this polygon was messed up, everyone communicated peacefully, as far as I know.



The second wife greeted me and sent me a package of cosmetics and perfumes of luxury brands, she was the director of the coolest and only store in the city at the time (even Arbat prestige was not yet, not that Rive Gosch), and the first healed all my teeth (so far her seals have stood, for more than 20 years).



I don't know what they had, because we didn't get along with this guy (I, an idiot, fell in love with one of the Zalachaths, which exhausted all my nerves and I lost because of him such a good man), and we remained friends.

I know he was very sick then, he had a heart surgery, and the first one came out, and the business led him until he could. Such decent people.

On the way to the garden, a neighbor met his daughter. Sit down, he says, we are pleased. I go, I see, the baby does not take my eyes away from the girl, liked to see. I was four years old, and you?

and 5!

I can read and count!

I too.

And I’m... And I’m... That one will tell you, then another. The moon, says, is the satellite of the Earth and creates tides! A photon is a particle and a wave at the same time. There are several kilograms of microbes inside us. While he was driving to the garden, he told so many things that I had never heard from him - a wonder I give!

It is said that if a man’s task is to change the world, women are to inspire him to do so.

There is no better advertisement than cheap.

I sit and eat. A guy of 18 years old and a beautifully dressed woman clearly older than 30 are going to the table, both with pads. The exorcist flies up and says, “Dude shit, I’m in your mouth, in your nose, etc., I don’t like you – you’re changing me for an old lady, dude!” He turns the pillow in the woman’s hands and runs away.
I sit quietly, in 5 minutes they bring another bowl and quietly eat. And the phrase: “Mom, well, it’s probably the best compliment!“”

The wife of the head of the Russian Foreign Ministry has arranged a scandal after the CIA discovered five previously unknown daughters of Lavrov falling under sanctions.

An experienced psychotherapist tells the student how he managed to cure a person who was confident that he was an alarm: - Imagine if he wasn't opened in the evening, then at seven in the morning he started a real breakdown... - And how did you handle it? - Every evening I reduced the time of the factory. One day, I didn't get him at all and he completely healed.After a while, the student says:- You know, professor, and I managed to cure a man convinced that he was a clock shooter. At first, we infected him with a mania of greatness – convinced him that he was not a shooter, but an entire alarm clock. And how to treat alarms, we already know...

Schrödinger's cat: so it is, then it disappears along with the cocklets from the table.

The benchmark of the journalistic fiasco in the era of publicity was an article re-printed in all little-known publications, the essence of which is an adapted report on the self-made.
There it becomes known that the mining engineer, finds a selfie weighing three kilograms three hundred grams, well, in his absence, the spouse gives an interview with ambiguous answers, and the selfie is a newborn baby.
But there is another example from the same time, from a very youthful newspaper, which has not renounced its name now.
The editorial office received an anonymous signal that in a new building in a well-off family, the child walks around the neighbors in search of food. The correspondent comes at the specified address, only the grandmother at home, parents at work, the child at school. Indeed, the family lives in wealth, this can be seen immediately from the front door and from the environment in the apartment.
Behind a cup of tea, a journalist asks the grandmother suggestive questions, where they came from, how long ago, what are the rules of conduct in the family. The grandmother who has found grateful ears, tells everything in detail and in depth, the main question is not reached.
Here comes the grandson, returning from school and right from the threshold:
Grandma, where is my spoon? I eat lunch today at Ershov, I go to Demidov for half a day, and in the evening my birthday is at Ostrovsky.
The grandmother gets a box with a spoon, the grandson has time to change clothes.
Serena, can you try it at home?
No, my grandmother is waiting for me.
He runs away, and the grandmother explains:
- Even from the kindergarten, the reputation of a boy who eats very aptly has been established behind Sereshka. Whosoever of the little ones was near Sereshka, even the unwilling ones, as soon as he took a spoonful and began to eat, five minutes later joined him.
In the kindergarten he was grown up with babysitters, breakfast in the younger group, lunch in his own, and half a day in the older.
They moved here, and fame came after his first birthday to which he was invited by new friends. Now he is walking on schedule, himself is watching, and embarrassed to refuse. In the courtyard it is so called - "Sierra with a spoon"...