Once my colleague a pediatrician one paranoid mom gave, saying, if you do not have your own children, then how can you treat others? And I thought, really, how is it?

Therefore, it is urgent for cardiologists - heart attacks, proctologists - hemorrhoids, traumatologists - to break their arms, narcologists - to begin to spread. Pathologists are funny.

I went to the neurosurgery department to remove the intervertebral hernia.

Well, finally, I was placed on the operating table and began to prepare for the operation.They made one injection, another in the back, the dropper was connected, the finger sensor was dressed, the pressure manchet was grabbed, the oxygen mask was dressed...I lie down, I am bored...

It became boring, I decided to ask the question: "When will you actually do the operation?"

The answer was a loud laugh and the phrase: "This is the best compliment for me, anesthesiologist! The operation has already been done, you will be taken back now!”

It turns out, in half a dream I didn't even notice, how two hours passed and the operation went well.

All good! Do not get sick!

The most important lesson I learned from school: change is important!

I’ve always wondered how the same thing can be perceived completely differently.
Moscow suburb, river shore, biological station. During the summer period, the biostation is used by students of the biological and geological faculties for training. A lot can be written about the superposition on a limited forested territory of cute biological girls and a few more grounded geologists, but I am not about it:) Biology in general is a quieter and quieter, more contemplative science, compared to geology, a saturated passage of shurfs, drilling of drilling iron and all sorts of heavy equipment. Therefore, biologists are generally more decent people.
One day our task was to get acquainted with the basics of seismic exploration. Field miniature equipment, as stated in the instructions: "... easily transported by the forces of four people or two horses." Reception station (heavy-weighted electronic unit in a quarter cubic meter), cable with sensors length of 20 meters and a healthy square. The cable is spread over the ground in a line, its sensors are plugged into the ground, the station is placed in a row and receives signals from the sensors. And the output signal, which is captured by the sensors, is excited by striking the squad on the ground at different distances from the sensor lines. In order for the signal to be well received and recorded, a series of strikes are made in each point, each series from 20-30 to 60 strikes. Our group spread the equipment, stretched the cable...Who was sent to trigger the output signal? Right, I am the healthiest. In order for the shock wave to go better into the ground, I laid on the ground with a torch and scattered it with a cuval. Fifty times to swallow a healthy squid and with all the ability to break the pollen and so is not very easy, so you still have to hit the pollen every time! After each station, the pollen had to be changed, because the quavalda soaked it and it began to collapse. I pulled off the series, I was moved further along the path, pulled back again, left again. For the third time, I was already 100 meters from the reception station, which with the people hid behind the turn of the trail in the forest. Fresh pollen, crawling on it with anxiety, the forces are already out, the sweat of the river, even mosquitoes are no longer sitting, afraid of drowning... After a series of wounds: "Documented?" I replied from the forest: “No, the signal is bad, give it again and stronger, and then far away!” I shook badly, when I hit, I started to jump to hit stronger. The pollen half into the ground went and began to collapse... All, the end of the series! Suddenly I hear a voice, “Young man!” I turn around – on the path are the elderly man and woman, all so gentle, sympathetic, good-looking – well obviously biologists! The birds listened and went home to the base quietly. The man: "Look, Masha, you all wanted to see them - it is from geologists, our do not!" Two astonished eyes look at me as to an incomprehensible phenomenon of nature, as if related to biology, but not entirely. Here a man turns to me, “Young man, we didn’t want to bother you, but we need to go to the station. “Let me pass?” I move off the trail, pulling out the quilt. A man passing by the pit looked at him, and suddenly he turned to me and said with such a professor's voice: "We have been standing here for a long time and watching you. Maybe it will be a discovery for you, but I can't help but pay your attention: a tail has long since been invented for clogging wood! Ask, they will give you! And if you want to strike a col in the earth, it is better to sharpen it from below.” And with a sense of fulfillment of the enlightenment mission, this couple moved away toward the station. And I stood with a cuvaldo standing near the almost broken pollen. Interestingly, what else could be thought of by biologists when they watched a guy squatting pollen into the ground...
I saw the couple several times later at the station, and the man smiled to me every time as if he had revealed to everyone the secret of the existence of a tail.

I think the pioneers will receive children in churches. At the same time they shout.

Hohoho, I, being a 9-year-old boy, generally without a look, because my mother was crawling from morning to late at night to pay for the rent of the apartment, met a man's neighbor, aged 55-60. I loved going to visit him. There were chess and plastic cable fish, and he had a real metal machine at home! In a single! And he taught me to make some clever spare parts on it. by Mark Pavlovich. I don’t remember half the teachers in school anymore, but I remember him as my grandfather. And although we lived nearby for only a year and a half, I went to visit him often afterwards. I don’t think I’d let my daughter go now.

Remember, money is taken to borrow, not to give.

Santa Barbara in Russian. Or an Indian melodrama. Whoever wants a story for a tearful series – take it, give it.

There was Alexander Stepanovich. He is still alive now. He is cool, but fair. Of those who managed to emerge from the dim wave of the nineties with good capital, reputation and almost no blood on their hands.

He had a son Antosh from the first marriage and a daughter Varenka from the second. His first wife did not differ in morality, and for her time he took his son to himself. The raids increased, finally the former sold the apartment to muddy realtors and disappeared, and Anton finally settled with his father.

The guy turned out to be interpretative, with his father's grip, the behavior of the most exemplary. Stepanic wanted to send him to study in London and then adapt to his business, but Anton showed his fatherly character, refused to leave and went to psychfac in his hometown. He still lived with his father. And why not live, space is enough with excess, feeds deliciously, relationships with a mother-in-law are normal, with a sister - it's better not. A happy family, no clouds on the horizon. Stepanic only stressed that his son has no girlfriend. Then came the trouble from where we did not expect it.

Stepanych returned home in the middle of the day and went into his son's room, something he needed there. My son at the institute. And here he is, sitting on the couch. On his knees, he has a whirlwind. They kiss. And hands in such places that there are no decent explanations, some are obscene. She is 17 years old and has just finished school.

The first reaction is understandable: the daughter blew up, the bastard hit it to the blood. Then the question:
Did you protect yourself, fool?
For now, I will keep her. And in the future, of course, I understand about bloodshed.
What is our future? You have no future. You collect things now and disappear forever. On Colyma for gold, in the taiga for cones, in Chechnya as a volunteer. The country is big.
The Warner:
Dad, don’t have to! I’ve loved Anastasia since I was a child and I can’t live without her.
You can be as cute. And you, beautiful, for the next five years, the route is one: school is home. And I’ll put the governor to you so that she doesn’t do any nonsense.

As if destroyed. There is no trace of happiness in the house. The complete darkness. The daughter does nothing, she sits all day and looks at the wall. In the institute failed, instead of composition wrote a thousand times the word "Antocha". Once, when the governor did not follow, the veins cut, another time the pills swallowed. And it will lead the matter to the end, the character of the father.

And here Stepanic receives a letter from the former. Anyway, I lie in the hospital with cirrhosis of the liver, the last days on Earth I count. I decided to finally repent with you for all the evil you have done to me. Know, you fool, that the son of Antonchenko, whom you took from me, is not really your son. I was born by Jorique, do you remember Jorique? Live with this now.

Yes, they had in their youth a neighbor, Juric, a beautician and a puppet. He also went into business, but didn't turn there, ran into the bullet. I thought Stepanic. Three days I thought. He ordered me to find Anton and bring him. He says to him:
“Now there is such a DNA test, a blood test determines who is a relative or not a relative. I agreed, we’ll give up tomorrow.
“Father,” says Anton, “but if it turns out that I am the son of Juric, then there is no incest and Varenka and I can get married, right?
It goes out, yes. Stay with me until the answer comes. But don’t touch Varenka, just tell her not to hang her anymore.

After a few days, Stepanic returns home happy, as in previous times. It has 32 teeth. It shows a certificate, it says: family relationships are excluded.
“Here,” he said, “how well it all went. There is no bloodshed. Live quietly, my son... that is, I’m probably already a cousin.

According to this certificate, Antosh issued new documents, in honor of Georgievich. As soon as Varenke was 18, they married. They really lived the happiest people in the world. Children only could not have had for a long time, some incompatibility was found. But nowadays, with money, that’s not a problem. When time began to push, Varenka gave birth to two wonderful babies from an anonymous test tube from a sperm bank.

Only this series does not end. He has a second season.

of our days. Stephens under 70. Anton for 40 years. Something made him feel bad. I checked for leukemia. About treatment doctors say: there are several rather hopeless methods and one reliable. A bone marrow transplant from a relative donor. Here are only the relative donors of Antashi Yok. Mother and Joryk in the grave, Stepanych is not his father by blood, Varenka is not a sister, children are not children.

Stephanie thought again. Three days I thought. I went to the hospital with Anton:
I don’t know how to tell you. But I have to say. I lied then. The certificate was forged. I am actually your father. So ask the doctors where I am here to check for a transplant.
Dad, don’t worry about it. We knew it long ago. I did not know, but I suspected. Therefore, they did not bring their children. We came up with incompatibility, and we protect ourselves for the rest of our lives. Varia has already passed tests, her bone marrow is right for me, soon surgery. Everything is normal.
Nothing for yourself. When did you guess?
On the very first day you came so pleased with this certificate. I am a psychologist and I know you from childhood. If it were to be found that I am not your son, would you rejoice? I would only think that you were taught the horns.

What do you know about cognitive dissonance?
- This is when in schools parallel physics and biology teach Orthodoxy.

Once I was irresponsibly in love with one guy and decided to experience the effect of the Pavlov dog on him. Every time we met, I offered him his favorite candy. After a while he began unconsciously to rejoice in seeing me, but after a moment the joy was replaced by surprise: he clearly did not understand why he was so happy to see me. I swear it was the most insidious and ridiculous experiment in my life.

xxx: The boss once shared that our employee told her that he was taking a hospital leave because he had a scarring (inflammation) on his ass. I sent a photo of the ass as a confirmation.



Oh my God!! 🙈😂😂😂

My husband has a foolish trait of writing foolish justifiable legends where they are not needed. For example, we are now actively engaged in furnishing a new apartment, and periodically call with the manager, but yesterday we could not answer him. I'm going to call him again tonight, my husband is like this:

"You tell him that we couldn't answer that we had a small child here, we walked with him, and then we went to the store, and we had packages of food, so when you called, we were busy with our hands, and then at home we made dinner.

I am :

No, I will not say anything.

The husband:

Yes why?

I am :

Because he has this information!

I call the manager and tell him:

Good night, sorry for not being able to answer you, can we talk now?

Good night, no problem, we can talk about it now.

And all, and no excuses, with a bunch of unnecessary information.

I’ve actually noticed that a lot of people start to justify themselves where it doesn’t have to. The husband thinks that I am like this, cheating on strangers, and I don't understand what the cheating is, if you don't drop out the person's ears of excuses?

I have a constant dispute with my wife on this topic. Either smoothly shaved or with hair. Sex with the eggs is not pleasant.



Have you tried with your wife?

I am sometimes frightened by people on Picaba...I think they can find EVERYTHING!



They can find everything except a girl :)

Those who came to Russia are those who came and those who left are those who left.

The empirical rule:
A useless thing that has been lying for more than ten years and thrown away will necessarily be needed within two weeks.
From the latter: a couple of baked bacon of non-food alcohol - just started to hold on the balcony, poured into the toilet before the covid.

In Australia, meeting a black cat is lucky.
Because a cat is the most harmless thing you can find in Australia.

Talk with a friend.

Yes, now people are more open-minded about sex than they were 10 years ago.

And don’t tell me, now we’re gathering a group of people for 10 per hour.

Even less... there will only be one girl to agree to find.

Life Hack for Parents: Tell less interesting stories than your spouse, so that the children ask him every night, rather than you tell them a story before bed.

To whom God wants to punish, He gives more seriousness than reason.