to this:
– You are 24 years old, you rent a separate apartment in the capital for your significant salary, on the days you go to interview in the yandex and you can’t make tea?
-No, well, I think in Yandex tea is prepared by specially trained people, ch.

– – – – –
In Yandex, there are indeed "specially trained" people who make tea!

X: Do you have a favorite brother?
and there is)
X: What is it?
Y is pink)
X: and my with a white tiger’s face on the whole pledge. I put half on the couch, I lie down, and I cover up the other half.
and : )
X: you can dismantle the couch, ride on it and wrap up in a goose ^^
x: and then so "blin, the light in the hallway did not turn off" -_-

Kasthack: Wow, the Russian audience is burning more than it is on Twitter and the hipster.
Casthack: How is it? Everyone is trying to get their food on Instagram / tell about another none-needed shit on Twitter, but it is still smaller than graphomans from a live magazine.
Smirnyaga: Because you can’t express the shit that is being made in Russia with pictures of food.

Have you bought something for tea?
Jem is round.
Lily: What kind of beast is this?
[16:07:25] Jem: Well this - the ring
[16:07:37] Lily : A bubble?
Jem: a -exactly

How to strengthen the marasm:

xxx: Today I heard that in Ukraine the film was banned because of the fact that Mila Kunis, who plays the main role, is Ukrainian, but sympathizes with Russia.
YYY: Is it okay? It is given)
xxx: Then the Fifth Element should be banned because of Mila Jovovich, who, by the way, was born in Kiev =)
ZZZ: I am not! It is necessary to ban all films with Bruce Willis because he played in one film with Mila Jovovich!! = = )

Just in Russia, 24 correspondents called the U.S. Secretary of State "General Secretary".

I take my son from kindergarten.
Son (with the intonation of the teacher): Yes, I complain about Dima.
I am (with a serious look): I listen.
Son: At first I accidentally hit Nasta with her foot on her tongue.
I was able to listen to the story until the end only from the third time)))

Keir: One of the biggest disappointments in life is a glowing condom.
I thought that for the sake of the galaxy, I would proudly march with my light sword, relentlessly pushing them over to the dark side, and it turned out as if an elderly lighthead landed on the hole to quietly and peacefully meet his death in a dream.
Val: I haven’t read such a review yet.
[17:04:52] Val: but about the latter they write all
Kira: either boasted or not tried
Val: And did they not try to hold gong in the light? From a dark package to a dark package.
[17:18:29] Keir: Have you "Calculator" not seen yet?
[17:18:35] Val: not
Kira: I have to go.
[17:18:51] Keir: take a cognac, girl and go to the movie
Why do we need a movie?
[17:19:10] KIR: Well...
It is dark there!
[17:19:32] Val: Are you gathering with the Lightning Broom to go? 8) is
[17:20:46] Kire: Oh! It will be anthropogenic. Add to the list the glowing Gandons. I have a flash to activate them.
[17:21:49] Kir: Shut up, the movie, the movie is going, the room is dark... HUUUUUUUYAK! flashes in the eyes. The spectators were missing, and there were two men with glowing members. Fantastically!
Val: “Mom, mom, we seem to have come to Star Wars, episode seven!
Here is the trailer!
by rzbzdc

>>> The pollen of potatoes does not fly! She is heavy!! She, your mother’s foot through her shoulder, is falling!! to

and ah. with Groucho

Soderano from the cooling body of Nash:
"xxx: Fuck, it’s there as much as you can with your surname. have to pass.
Yyy: That is, you want to say that you have a fancy, archery, vampire and sorceress available, but you, fucking, definitely want to fuck a cat?
YYY: You are fucking.
Yyy: But by the way, I didn’t know, I have to go through."

xxx: Recently the server of our universe was hacked, and I became aware that the faculty of comprehensive security here consists of separate departments of real and imaginary security(((

Marasmatic hysteria
What did they do with it and how does this grape grow?! Why didn’t they say it was GMO?
I bought grapes in the market yesterday. They said sort somehow "kum-kush" or "shesh-beš", I did not remember.
And - horror - there is no bone in it!! ! to I didn’t notice at first and ate 1.5 grains! ! to Only then I noticed that he was without bones, that is, infertile, but it was too late! I have already eaten.
What did they do with it and how does this grape grow?! Why is it not warned that it is genetically modified? Now I sit and fear - can I now have children?
*********************************
1 Vineyard is called"Kishmisch"
The vineyards are multiplied by beams, cracks, cuttings, but not by seeds!
The mention of Kishmish is preserved in Uzbek fairy tales and dates back to 1212.
The Uzbeks reproduce normally.

The project manager asked one admin to restart the server. And when the server was down, she asked another administrator to check why the server did not respond. Trolling of the 80th Level!

Everyone has a friend who gives advice, helps to set up a personal life and these advice work, but hell, this person has no personal life.

Video of the collapse of the Takom Bridge:
The chief engineer passed through it during the rowing to show that the bridge is safe.
...
Three hours later, the bridge did not stand and collapsed into the water. Strangely enough, only one dog was injured during this tragedy.
The father adds: "Aga. Well you, chief engineer, and the dog!"

Yes, no, it is quite obvious that the more leaves, the warmer. Here in the tundra, for example, there are only trees, they have small leaves. In the middle latitudes it is already better, but only in summer, and in autumn the trees drop leaves and all, soon comes winter. And the heat does not come until the new leaves grow. If, on the contrary, it was, before the first snow would fall, and then the leaves fell, but no - always first the leaves fall, then the frost and snow come.
And in the tropics there are many evergreen trees, there is always warm.

Andrei
All right as well. The sun just grows along with the kidneys.

Dmitry
I think we need to cut forests in the tropics to stop global warming.

Andrei
They do so.

Dmitry
All my genius ideas have already been invented by others.

Andrei
I throw the bottles into the pond to reduce the area of evaporation. Because when the water evaporates in the sky, clouds appear and the sun closes.

Dmitry
You are right, and I think the car is black, why did I buy it?

Andrei
Because there were no others.

Dmitry
so that in the summer the sun heated her and she condensed this heat into the surrounding space, so that in the winter it would be warmer

Experience shows that if a frog and a frog have a conflict, it is usually because one of them behaves like a frog.

Using the opportunity, I greet the former, who knew that I was going to bed at 11 p.m., but still chronically suffered from pseudo-dramatic impulses such as “I just wanted to wish you a good night’s dream!” at two o’clock.

Do you also have a drinking duo who is drunk doing horrible things and then everyone thinks you did it?

If a child wants to eat, he will scream.
If you look a child in the eyes and talk to him, he smiles and walks.

The situation :
The child wants to eat, wakes up and begins to cry. We approach him, look at him and talk. The child is silent. He wants to eat and he wants to cry. But he talks to him, and he wants to smile. There is an emotional and cognitive dissonance, and the child, pressing his lips, shakes his eyes on you, in which it is read: "This is a good idea to be born in the family of the tester."

I’m in the car, my wife and aunt.
We go from my wife’s work (world courtroom) where I was repairing the flow in the heating system (and my wife’s secretary there).
Why does the judge not do it, he is a man.
Wife: Because when the site moved to a new room, I asked him, “Do you have tools, a screwdriver and a perforator?” and he said, “No.” There is a two-sided Scotch"
I roared so much that I had time to stop on the side.
Now in the family a new mem about men "He has a home of tools - a bilateral Scotch"