bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145364
 06.10.2017
I am married to a new-same. With us live p-children, p-tests and p-tests.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145363
 06.10.2017
Mushrooms are like addicts: slow walking, strangely looking at the sides and constantly touching themselves in the face, as if removing a web.
YYY: It was funny before. Since the theme of bookmarks has developed, the nits have become similar to mushrooms.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145362
 06.10.2017
The more liberal the liberal, the more monarchical the monarchist, the more Orthodox the Orthodox, the more likely they were in the past to be the leading workers of the Komsomol.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145361
 06.10.2017
Jen006: We have this concept in the family "catolic "- it means a cat came to you on the hand, and therefore you are temporarily incapable)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145360
 06.10.2017
Guest: You believe in GMOs, and what has already been proven and confirmed that the DNA of chimpanzees and humans is 98 percent similar, you are afraid to believe.
The Urso! Bananas have 50% of the total genome. And not only with him... So, in the greenhouse without a machete - not a leg. Or the cucumbers will fade and flee at sunset. "The Revolt of the Fruit Garden" Compare the similarity of genes, one shit that compares md5 files. The difference of 2% and instead of the collection of works of Dostoevsky will get the video archive of Sasha Gray.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145359
 06.10.2017
From GX10:

Once I moved to another country. There were several reasons, and I have not told anyone about the main one. But to you, I must admit, I did not want to write a dissertation. Emigration with the loss of citizenship seemed just enough reason to quit postgraduate studies. I was fooled by my friends. When Gorbachev began to release Jews (and under Brezhnev the border was mostly on the castle), the issue of leaving arose like a bridge in St. Petersburg, painted by a group of "War". I remember walking around Nevsky and talking about eternity. I argued that there was no need to go, because friends, and therefore life, are here. "What if they all leave?" they asked me. "Then there will be nothing else," I admitted. "Let’s get a deal and let’s go together", they said. We hit in the hands. A year later I was in America. They remained in Russia.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145358
 06.10.2017
From the bathroom came a shout of despair:
No one would believe it was chocolate.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145357
 05.10.2017
How do I translate the word "Crime" into English? I am just writing a summary...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №145356
 05.10.2017
"What social responsibility do women have?"

Same as all citizens of the country? They have to comply with the laws, pay taxes, vote in elections. As well as men.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145355
 05.10.2017
xxx:...so we will write our own CMS, with BD and s
yyy: eye with databases and templates?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145354
 05.10.2017
I’m digging the potatoes. It is cold, it is difficult to dig, the potatoes are small, the rainy rain freezes. It is easier to smell everything in the ground, but to dig and raise the spirit I come up with the advantages of this position:
The small potatoes:
It is better stored.
- do not need to sort the seed, and so all small;
- The husband has long boasted that in the army so skillfully cleaned the potatoes that the cleaning was transparent, let's check...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145353
 05.10.2017
There is no such hierarchy of primates. She is in a wolf band, well, and also in some dogs, where everything is strictly divided and where only ONE PAR has the opportunity to reproduce. The local representatives of the alpha-sams are better not to focus on wolves, but on lions: here he lives in the harem, so the harem also hunts and feeds it (the adult male is too heavy and flattered - overheats from activity - so only the small single are relatively independent) - just the life of the dream of the samsa.Just don't forget that the lion is a good lover (the only type of cat that approaches mating with tenderness, and not the bodies beat partners, like tigers and jaguars) - and the lions WANT to have it and feed it. And the alpha wolf has little to do with the monogamous marriage, as well as the loch to take care of the wolf and the children.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145352
 05.10.2017
I have not been to the bank for a long time. In Tallinn in the banks put a girl a la window for "and I just ask "at the entrance. She actually solves all issues with her computer. I was afraid to go to the clinic.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145351
 05.10.2017
I remember five years ago I was a student drunk. One of my teammates, suffering from the attention of a strange and drunk guy from our course, asked me to pretend she was my girlfriend. Say, embrace me and sit with me for half an hour until "this terrible little one is behind."

And I did it. Not so difficult. She even kissed me in the cheek a few times.

Then I just followed her from the universe to the stop. The man insisted not to give her peace. I then said a few rough words to him that he’t lie to “my girlfriend.” All in order to help a group. Not difficult though...

We did a good job pretending to meet. I hugged her and she kissed me in the cheek.



In short, she recently gave birth to my second child. Where did I go with help...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145350
 05.10.2017
<Angelofnet> What a wonderful ending of the conversation was caught in the tram today! Barishna issued:"What can a man explain to me in general who does not distinguish a highlight from a consiller?and "

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №145349
 05.10.2017
The media about the marriage of Zemfira and Renata Litvinova

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx What was it suddenly shooting?

YYY has flown

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №145348
 05.10.2017
at work.
Interesting, who ate all my strawberries? — I thought, pouring out the remains with someone’s milk.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145347
 05.10.2017
to this:

Such a feeling that the cow directly with the cow bulldozer grabbed, dumped in a bowl and brought to us..."

I would seriously warn about the topic of bones and skulls..There is a concept of the "Scorpion" - where they buried what remained after laboratory experiments (in particular). This is such a shit that it is better to get around 5 kilometers side by side. But of course, such a soil is free, it is.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №145346
 05.10.2017
Well, it is logical in a country where winter is significantly longer than summer, to develop hockey, not football.
No no no no no no no no. It is always winter. You offer a catch. It is better to build water parks.
Oh, so from the water park one shit will get a slide, only a figure.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №145345
 05.10.2017
Supro
In Gta, Doom, Diablo and most other games, the world revolves around the character, and all the calculations are made for him. So if the goal of the experiment is us, then the world really revolves around us, and distant stars are counted as points, but as galaxies billions of light years away from us.

Rombell
A calculation for all reasonable people. Let’s get rid of anthropocentrism :)

Stirliz85
A calculation for me. The rest are just stimuli at the entrance to my simulated brain.

Kaspersky
One of my simulations...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna