bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №10498
 29.09.2008
A brother from America returned, telling how on the street with an open beer bottle in his hands caught a copa. Next is the dialogue of the cop (K) with his brother (B):

Q: You are breaking the law that prohibits drinking on the street.
B: I am not drinking.
Why is the bottle open?
B: I bought at the restaurant, did not drink, I bring home.
The pause...
Q: Certainly?! to
B is sure!
K: All the good.

The stupid...

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №10497
 29.09.2008
All the girls are dry!
I was wet ;o) (c)

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №10496
 29.09.2008
The most terrible thing is when you walk on the street, you remember how you did minet and start with your head like this... tuz tuz... kiva... Oh!

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №10495
 29.09.2008
and MUMR:
Adminas-shmadminas, linouches-chrelinouches... Working with them is more difficult than everyone on the wire, and from this they are steep niibats. Here I am a military engineer, a communications engineer, I work on the equipment that came to combat duty when my parents were dedicated only to pioneers! There, the operation is measured by dozens of kilobytes, and the total capacity of the screw is two hundred! I am generally silent about the frequency of the processor, as well as about the monochrome displays in the iron body, weighing 40 kilograms! I have a cell phone cooler by several orders than this two-storey bandour size of the act hall! I, of course, am not an engineer-ASUshnik, but an engineer-nechromant, because this multi-ton paibeng must live and work, work for people and with refusals no more than three minutes a day!!! But the shit, the nibaba General Staff... Well, let’s tell me about where2 under the freeze(((

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №10494
 29.09.2008
He is:
Who is writing?

He is
by Loyola? Or by Katya?

Katya
Who do you want to hear more?

Katya
that is. to read

He is
Perez Hilton

Katya
She is very thin and scary and her breasts are artificial.

He is
Hello to Katy!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №10493
 29.09.2008
We went by car for two days into the forest.

by Leo:
We will freeze and die there.
by Leo:
If you are like a rider, you can burn the car until help arrives.

by v4:
Don’t worry, I’m going to warm up and you’re going to warm up. ?

by Leo:
So I would say immediately.

by Leo:
I didn’t want to burn a frog, but once you suggested...

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №10492
 29.09.2008
25 September is International Contraception Day.
<Prince of the Musk> all the Gandons with a professional holiday, Hule

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №10491
 29.09.2008
Mask (17:02:55 23/09/2008)
My neighbors are also doing repairs.
In the morning, something was on the floor. The sound is of type "uffffffffff...uffffff"
And I, you know, was still sleeping. and there "uffffffffffff...ufffffff"
In the last footage of my dream I saw Darth Vader who looked straight into my soul.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №10490
 29.09.2008
Commentary on the photo of Boyarsky's daughter:

XXX: Is she without a beard? O_O
HZ: Probably accepted

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №10489
 29.09.2008
In the long-range, two communities stand opposite each other - FOPF (general applied) and FAKY (aerospace research).

On one day, the Fopfovs distributed to everyone in each room a printing of nodes and units, placed on each floor on the drummer (the drummers swept the clocks), and at the agreed time the drummers began to beat the drums every three seconds.

In the rooms, respectively, lights were lighted or extinguished.

The building has a running line: "FAKI-M...DAKI"

It happened so long ago that there was no smiley at the end of the line.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №10488
 29.09.2008
Katya, do you have your vagina free tonight?
Katunka - Go to the rectum!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №10487
 29.09.2008
Death does not follow us on the heels, it carries us on turns.

Nick Blue

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №10486
 29.09.2008
Last weekend, on the summer trip, my daughter and husband decided.

go on a tour to Baldino - enjoy the golden autumn in Pushkinskiy

the places. A group of tourists gathered early in the morning on Gorky Square

In Nizhny Novgorod, most people are young. approached the bus.

An old woman, ordinary, wrapped in a cloth, under ninety years old.

Grandma, where are you?

Just where you go on a trip! The guide, smiling joyfully,

I met her as an old acquaintance - hello Raisa Ivanovna!

The excursion went well, everyone liked it, the old lady walked boldly.

Together with all of them, she gathered water from the holy fountain in the pit nearby.

Boldino, and after lunch in the hotel complex joyfully stated that if

If "100 grams more, it would be very good"! Why is this a grandmother?

At such an honorable age, she struck into tourism, and she told me...

Following her words.

I am 85 years old and a few years ago the doctors said that I had

I am sick and only have a few months to live. I am lonely

Absolutely, I don’t need anyone... Well, in order not to suffer, I decided with my life

to finish. I decided to go down from the downtown ski.

The tower is 50 meters away! How did I get there, why didn’t anyone?

I stopped – I don’t know... And here I went up the top of the view from there! The Miracle!

The beauty! I stand, look at the city below, and I realize that even in my city

I saw nothing and knew nothing... And suddenly I changed my mind to die.

She went down... She walked around her hometown, looking at everything,

Museums, the Kremlin... Then came to the neighboring monasteries, and more.

I’ve visited almost all of Russia as a regular customer.

The travel agencies know. The doctors said you have no.

You are healed, grandmother. Tourism is the best medicine.

Good luck, your grandmother Raisa Ivanovna, and you do not get sick!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №10485
 29.09.2008
Letter of the worker Sidorov to the newspaper "Arbeit": "Dear newspaper! I heard that

during the performance in Moscow of the magician Copperfield of the Red Square

The mausoleum disappears. Is it possible to extend the tribune before disappearing?

To fit the whole government on it, and to put a taburet on the side.

for our director?"

http://www.russianmontreal.ca/index.php?newsid=332

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №10484
 29.09.2008
Basha started, took an aska, what to do next?? to

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №10483
 29.09.2008
Do you have a Vista or Windows?
I have a Windows Vista.)
YYY: How is that?
I am a programmer =)
yyy: aaah, I understand))

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №10482
 29.09.2008
Classes in Japanese language:
For tailed animals, one suffix, for objects on four legs, another.
Is the cat a tail?
P.-Yes, and the cat's neck is on the legs.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №10481
 29.09.2008
Everyone came from the country (I, as usual, the slang, home). I tell you:
I: And yesterday I had dinner at candles with a loved one.
My mom and sister were surprised.
Mother (with hope): on the computer?
I : No.
Olka: With a man? The living?! to
Yesterday I went home with my own candles!! to
Olka: I think, if with a man, why with a loved one, if with a loved one, why with a man.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №10480
 29.09.2008
I go to the entrance today. Unknown passengers entering. I am in the camelots, tired, grumbling at the entrance... One stops. He looks at Camus. The dialogue:
What is Skin Choli?
(I thought a little) No, Jedi.
Where is the light sword?
Disabled for non-payment
A respectful look, wild rust, then they gave me a bottle of beer, said I was burning, took my hand and let go.
c) the essence

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №10479
 29.09.2008
Warhawk: Yes, in general, we were a fool, not a school. It was "" and it was...
Warhawk: My classmate's younger brother is also in our school, only he is now in class 7. Normal guys, and one and the other... I saw him in the summer, asked how there was school.
Warhawk: It tells us that the school was decided to be surrounded by a fence. Children do not run away from school early. The decision was unanimously adopted by the council. Now, with the slightest sins in the schedule and other force majeures, students and teachers have to climb through the fence. Isn’t it $TZ?

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