This conversation took place fifteen years ago. And now I remembered him.
One day, I was taken to a small editorial office. A very small office occupied an ordinary apartment in an old house on the Fountain. Well, and the collective, respectively, was optimized by the economical owner of the publication to the limit - in our homework worked shoulder to shoulder editor, artist Nika, carpenter and advertiser - both Verki, big and small. The necessity of such an element of newspaper activity as a journalist was not placed in the head of the chief. Why is it needed, if so many different texts grow on the massive field of the Internet, and just things - to collect them with the caring hands of the editor. In order not to rush to the revenge of the upset sable-toothed authors, the content slammed in the quiet provincial graphomans and in the pink-girly pimples-covered lyrusches. There was no journalist. But in a separate office painted the nails of stunning beauty and stupidity creature, proudly called himself an office manager. At first, the wise bosses tried to do without a corrector, but boring advertisers recognized this approach as vicious. I had to give in to capital.
In the early days, not yet understanding the peculiarities of editorial policy, I was very surprised, reading the texts received from the editor, the elderly simple-minded Tamara Nikolaevna. I also felt something strange about my employees. Difficulty is not caution, not danger. More specifically, it was a typical female monastery. The only male, the large scattered ficus Vasya, walked on the window, sadly pressing the palms-leaves to the glass. The window, of course, went out into the courtyard of the usual fuzzy appearance.
A couple of weeks later, when everything somehow slowly entered the workload and in the breaks we were chasing tea in the kitchen, I struck the right moment and asked - what was it? The girls looked around and laughed.
As it turns out from their story, I was not the first corrector here. The previous two have made an indelible impression. Both, or rather both, were, as Verka the Great expressed delicately, heracnute. The first dedicated all of her free time to denouncing the cats of impure force, and the lighthearted young employees soon felt uncomfortable. The second was of rare purity. She washed everything. When she washed the ice cream bought in the kiosk under the crane, the girls decided that the eternal search for mistakes has a detrimental effect on the mental health of the correctors.
But I only washed my hands and fruits, with impure force and so on my short leg, as I constantly draw, - in general, all exhaled relieved.
We worked very nice. The people were all joyful and not harmful, common themes - men and children - were always at hand, so there were no reasons for conflict. The only inconvenience arose when the girls thought about television. We should have gathered in the kitchen for a lunch break or for a tea coffee as they stretched behind the controller. I did not protest. I went out for lunch 15 minutes earlier. I drank coffee and read a book. Then the bullshit Verki flooded, splashed on the chairs, the noise-gam-TV began. I calmly took the book, the cup, and went to the quiet harbor, back to work.
My disappearances did not go unnoticed.
One day, when I got up and turned to the exit, the staff approached me with the question – what a fucking thing.
The girls! I just don’t like TV, that’s all.
How is it? I did not understand the big faith.
And for the background? The little girl asked confusedly.
And why? Why do you need a TV in the background? What is “for the background”? – I wondered, in turn, I. Especially since I have been really interested in this strange phenomenon for a long time.
The carpenter suddenly became upset.
Because I do not like silence. I am uncomfortable with her.
Instead, I tried to twist. I want to hear my thoughts. Is it you, doesn’t this gallery hinder them from listening?
There was a heavy pause.
I don’t want to hear my thoughts!
No, how is it without him? Joined Tamara Nikolaevna. And at home?
At home as well.
The girls sang. Television is Oral. I moved from foot to foot.
- Horror... Poor your relatives... - finally stretched the Verka big. You are a tyrant! Even a tyrannosaurus. No, I still do not understand. Why is?! to
I did a terrible nonsense. I went into explanation.
Well look at. Here he turns on – it’s as if suddenly unfamiliar disgusting rays came home to me – oh, wow, like these – and began to swing, discussing the new adventures of singer Valeria or ballerina Volochkova. Putin and Medvedev. Or even worse, the singers themselves with the ballerinas stumbled. And everywhere they throw me in the nose with their dirty underwear, new bullets, and in every way force me to marry in a group. And I sit in my flanel pyjamas with my elephants, my coffee is shrinking, and there is nowhere to go from them. In short, it all interferes with me.
Interfering with what?! to
I thought, I answered shy.
And in their eyes it was clearly read, “This is it! The Corrector! We knew it!”
Verka burkned, silenced (and all according to kiwi):
and dance. You are sick. You need to go to a psychiatrist.
Why to me? Look, you are uncomfortable in silence – why? Because you can’t be alone with your thoughts. Maybe you need to go to a psychiatrist?
Everyone looked at me carefully.
And Verka memberly, clearly explained:
No, we do not need. You need you. Because we are more.
by Tatiana May

I have a king hamburger and a sharp steak.
Honey or Honey?
Without shit, without ice. A small barrel.
Breastfeeding at home? Shorts and pants?
No, I thank you. A large tues.
Are you going to eat here, but will you?
and adopted.

It is best to create two separate offices - for extroverts and for introverts. While in one office extroverts organize parties, cheer salutes, organizes battles chimpanzees and share, share, share endlessly with their thoughts, experiences, emotions about everything and with everyone - in the neighboring office there are rows of cabins, flanked by each other walls, in each cabin a computer, a cozy chair, headphones and most importantly - no one idiot extroverts nearby, who "Hello bro, how do you remember Katka from the accounting office, here's how I yesterday swallowed her, go to smoke, go to coffee and drink, and what you did yesterday, and yesterday, and you know what I did yesterday, you know what the difference between giraffe and ossa, this job, let's go, Buddha, Biden Pidas Putin, Pidoras,

And even the Tefal company doesn’t think about us anymore!

Who will you save in the event of a fire, a child or a woman?

Author: child and family psychologist Lina Romanova.

Socrates, a great philosopher and a father with many children, as you remember, loved to go out onto the square and ask a difficult question to his contemporaries. One of those questions I have tried to bring to the general discussion these days. This is what came out of it.

It was an ordinary autumn evening. The households were scattered around their rooms. I read Socrates. One question stunned me. He asked, “If there is a fire and you can only save someone, whom will you save your wife or one child?” All the men answered, “Baby, of course.” Socrates said, “I will save my young wife. We will burn together and she will give me more children. And if I save the child, it will be painful for me and for him. His face will always remind me of tragedy. And the child himself will lose his brothers and sisters and his mother, and then he will have a mother-in-law who will not be able to love him as his mother loved him. Of course, the controversy did not last long. I wondered what my husband would answer. Asked, without interrupting the reading, he replied, “Child. Everyone will save the child. He is defenseless and... well, I don’t know, I’ll save everyone, but if one, then a child.” I told him about Socrates. He postponed the newspaper. We talked about this all night. It turned out to be unreally difficult.

In the morning, both went to work, the children to school and kindergarten. I had a busy day, I didn’t remember Socrates. My husband reminded me in the evening, “I thought I would be killed at work today. In the break, after lunch, he talked about Socrates, asked his question to his fellow servants. The answers were obvious. I said that in the evening I answered so, but in the morning I changed my mind, Socrates convinced with his arguments. My husband said he stopped eating. They started screaming and proving, called friends and people approached from other departments. Finally, the women from the accounting office were called, and they too, in one voice, began to say, “Are you mad? A woman can be changed for another. Your child is your blood.” The rescue came in the form of the boss. He discovered the absence of all workers on the ground during working hours, attracted to the voices and dismissed an unauthorized rally.

The husband returned to work and found a retired employee, his co-worker, at the workplace. He did not participate in the dispute, missed lunch because of his hard work, and he was an old man on his ear, not especially at work with whom he communicated. “Why are all orals? Did the prize be cancelled?” the veteran came to rest. “Yes, no, there was a philosophical dispute...” the husband asked him. And the old man was a family man, by the way: with his wife forty years together, three sons, each house built with his own hands, five grandchildren, everyone loves him to visit. The old man thought, "And what, all said the child will choose to save? I would choose my grandmother. Children, they are guests in the family, grow up and fly out of the nest. Yes, they love me, and I visit them. Yes, but each one is a broken crack. And I will die with my grandmother.”

The wisdom of this man was shocking. I thought, maybe that’s why we have so many divorces that we don’t value our family properly. Maybe it’s not our children and it’s not all for them. Maybe everyone will be happy only when parents value each other above all else?

Who would you save in a fire?

China has officially announced that Gucci, Armani, Dior, Louis Vuitton, Dolce & Gabbana, Versace and other brands will not leave the Russian market.

Photographs on which a person lost weight from 120 to 60 kilograms are coolly encouraging. You know that you can always lose weight and keep eating.

We have a good relationship with one wonderful family, they have sons. It was a time when his voice broke. In the measure of his curiosity, he asked his grandmother why this happened. To which she, not long thinking, replied, "Our grandson, the shit grows - the ligaments stretch." A wonderful grandmother! )

At the final stop in the industrial district, the insane type of man tries to find a worthy interlocutor.

The choice falls on the intelligent in the glasses and with the portfolio in the hands.

Do you have 30 rubles?

The intelligent answered:

I don’t have them, but you’ll spend them on drinking.

The man objects:

Except for the cake.

“Well, go to the kiosk, show me what cake, I’ll buy it for you.

Move to a food kiosk with a brand name, and the confused look of a man becomes the owner of a cake with potatoes.

I said it wasn’t for vodka.

From the pocket comes a sealed glass.

I already have vodka.

pregnant in the last month. At night it becomes not good, I apparently give birth, call an ambulance.

The ambulance, listening to the symptoms, exactly giving birth, went.

At night, the guard opens the door and asks what happened.

Birth has arrived.

You, of course not. (He is so smiling)

The doctor describes the symptoms. The doctor, well, it looks like birth, examination, tests, etc. And no, not even close. Here is your nose, the baby will wait for another week.

I asked the security guard how. And he answers, I sit here for so many years, on the face in one second to determine who is giving birth and who is not.

I am an experienced expert))

XXX: Tefal no longer thinks of you

YYY: And Johnson & Johnson no longer cares about you and your health.

zzz: Johnson's Baby is now spitting eyes.

Maybelline: Everyone Is Not Enjoyed by You

In Vietnam ordered a sharp phobo, blat прошибло so that he was sweaty and swallowed, all the juice they had with a mineral drinked on the march, asked this sauce to buy with him, the tube was taken out of the green like a pipette, said for 20 liters of soup, and in truth, in a 10-litre pot this pipette turns into an adish borst, nobody ate, the wife for the waste of the pigs sent, they then ate all the snow in the volley, then the door at the sarai broke and in the garden they were eating snow, then looked in the sucreries.

I was born and lived in a country of victorious socialism. But now there is a state with surrealism winning.

Call to the accountant. The problem, they say, is not access to the bank. I sit, I suffer, I don’t understand what the mess is... And it turned out that the account was blocked! Due to multiple incorrect passwords. I ask, tell me, what is the matter. He replies that he entered a password, but, not finding the desired letter on the key, entered a similar one. “I thought they’t notice...” The day sought to unblock the account. This is how we live =)

Pepsi, McDonald’s, Coca-Cola, American cinema... I’m stuck with the idea that the Americans decided to make us a healthy and mentally normal nation.

The number of suicides in Russia has fallen to the lowest level in 50 years. Everyone wondered how it would end.

I am sitting in Murray.

A funny guy in line. Oral that it is not necessary to transfer rights after deprivation. He took out papers where it was written that he should. And his arguments were that in TikTok on the blogger is signed and he says it is not necessary.)))

The Tu-334 was already ready for certification and made entirely from domestic units. For some reason he was forgotten.



YYY: Fuck, you’ve gotten it with the TU-334. Ukrainian engines are on it. Do you understand it or not?



Zzzz: I understand it. The issue has been resolved for two weeks.

People constantly complain about their life, and when the moment comes to lose it, they start to cling to it.

Last year, he gave his daughter a chocolate on March 8.
Well, gave and gave, seemed to have to break down and all things. The 10-year-old boy has disappeared. She thought that if she were given a chocolate every year, she would have 10 chocolates now. And they are not!
But that is not all. Divided on the work, the male part of the collective laughed.
But the women said that he was in the first, a heartless idiot, in the second, he is now obliged to give the child 10 chocolates, and in the third, he is generally a cattle, what he said, because the ladies are now upset, because they have no more chocolate. The older the woman, the more offensive.