xxx: I watched porn, I saw a walking man in jeans in the background. The cinema though.
Yyy: Unfortunately in simple movies there is no porn in the background.

As long as you have a personal astrologer, your personal astrologer will always have your own fool.

This story was told to me by a brother who at the beginning of his work was a passenger train driver. The salary of the conductors in those distant days was small, and money, as always, I want a lot, so that from their amount the soul turned out and no longer collapsed.

Here and sinned the guys with official crimes, the most common of which was the carriage of ticketless tickets for reward personally to the conductor. However, usually on such provinces the bosses closed their eyes, but as they say, it is better not to get caught.

Here are our heroes on landing in Orsha. Hummus stands like that, without mood. After all, for the whole trip (a long-distance train) no one "left", therefore, and no ruble in excess in the pocket. And the final station of arrival soon. But the time of parking is coming to an end, and it has already been announced that "landing on the train St. Petersburg - Minsk is over." And then a smile appears on the faces of our workers, because they see a aunt running toward their wagon, bitten by such a lady, and shouting: "Children, take me too!“!”

“Oh?” thought the brother, the rabbit painted. They dragged the woman into the train, and then by the edge of their eyes they noticed that in the same train there are inspectors.

The thirst for profit won, and the aunt decided not to plant, but to hide somewhere. I thought and thought, and no better place than the lower shelf for suitcases was invented. The lady did not resist, the inspectors were already on the wagons, but it was problematic to get her there.

The weight in it is no less than 100 kilograms, the waist range corresponds. But for the Russian people there are no outgoing conditions. They inspired. Auditors checked the car, observations and violations were not found. They just asked the conductors why they sat on the lower shelf and never got up during the inspection. Our heroes have risen. The eyes of the auditors appeared a hundred-kilogram aunt lying in the shelf. The inspectors are in shock. I asked if she had a ticket. I bought a ticket for this train and even for this car. My brother and his partner were in shock.

How did you get into the CIA headquarters?
I am an agent!
The KGB?
No, Oriflame is for sale!

- Manuels, unfortunately, are not domesticated at all, even a tiger is easier to train.
Do they cross with domestic cats?
and no. The Manual despises them.

A girl at work recently replaced the fourth iPhone for the fifth. When asked what was better, he was able to answer it faster. And she says she doesn’t charge it with other people’s charges because it’s unsafe. Here's how I think she's not afraid to fly away from me talking to me)) edmi

>>I was just confused that the winchesters with ammunition appeared 100 years after the abolition of slavery in the United States?

The Henry rifle appeared in 1860. Slavery was abolished in the United States in 1865. "In the school of children - in the school"(c)

In comments to the news about the unusual names given to children in 2012:

No, you can imagine? No Legolas with Aragorn.

I went to the cinema yesterday, on the life of Pi, went to the cinema a little)))
by 10:48:28
)))))))))
A tearful movie?
About what he?
by 10:49:54
Look like a mummy, just in the middle of the ocean, and instead of a dog, a tiger.

The Union of Muslims of Kazakhstan (SMK) proposes to introduce a special article into the Criminal Code of the Republic of Kazakhstan, prohibiting obscene gestures against high-ranking persons, reports the press service of the SMK.
The list of prohibited activities should include:
...
4 is To manage the need, let bad winds, strike the bottom of the dress, stretch the width, reveal the genitals and buttocks near high-ranking persons;
5 is Demonstratively chew in the nose, sneeze and sneeze in the direction of high-ranking persons;
6 is Shake your eyes, swallow your cheeks, lie down on the ground, get up on your head, turn your back or side, jump, bend, drop on the four, crush your nose, close your eyes, clamp your noses, squeeze your fingers in your mouth, cause vomiting, rattling, sneezing, clogging your ears, whispering, whispering, standing, making animal sounds (grabbing, whispering, washing, bleaching, roasting, and so on), grabbing your heart, showing boredom, shortness of breath, sweating, epilepsy, rabies, allergies, stroke, trembling in the limbs, colic in the abdomen and liver, whispering, washing, pretending to be moderate or drunk.
According to the Union of Muslims, such acts should be treated as minor hooliganism and punished with imprisonment for 5 days.

F: He is not running.
A: You like him, what do you think?
F: I don’t know... I’ve been fucked a couple of times.

My colleague was sent (a little corrected. Not for advertising :D
Hello to you Ivan! You for some reason registered on the trading site "namesite.ru"... you probably still wanted to buy something.

We, the marketing department, are very sad that you don’t buy on "site name.ru". We constantly draw banners, advertise goods, ask our sellers to reduce the price for the buyer, and you still do not buy.

We ask you to make at least one small purchase, and you will no longer hear from us a single request... save us from dismissal

XXX: How are you doing? What do you do? What do you think?
Fuck, you fuck me. What do you want from me? Do you want to know what I think?
About the unnecessarily lived years, about how you angered me, about what I became with you
Psychic... about the fact that I am all angry, about the fact that I don't know where I need you in general,
Why do we have these relationships, why all this? I don’t know what I want, I don’t want anything anymore, nothing.
XXX: Nahuya asked

The shortest of our tenants
XHHH: bring our office to court
XHH: for the fact that our director sent them naked on the following issue
The shortest of our delayed payment for one day for the first time in 5 years
The penny took out 252 rubles
The director sent them to the fuck.

The guests came. My 5-year-old daughter was stunned by guests. The guest :
OOO OOO! Here you will grow up, you will have a guy, if you break up with him, he will leave you.
Dad didn’t leave Mom!

XXX: Who is using Chrome? How to turn off this banner with a girl?
YYY: With which girl? How to Include?

On a drill, when they drill a well, after a few meters of passage they take a soil sample. And so that the soil does not fall asleep, you need to cover the end of the probe with something and condoms are ideal for this purpose and they, the cheapest, need a lot (previously its price was 2 cents and it was not expensive)

So, the radio station's radiologist transmits to the ship supplier the application for supply and crew change. The rest hear all this on the air, but not all in the topic for which rubber products are needed.

- Accept the request for supplies and a change of crew. You need this, this, and that... and eventually you put in three thousand condoms and a new kitchen.

Then everyone asked only one question: "What happened to the old cowboy?" O_o

by Alicia Bartenev (21:51) :
Talk to many.

and not

Do not need

I accidentally turned on the screen speaker.

He will talk to me.

"North Koreans are calling Russian investors" – Despair meets Phuism.

Stop coming into my room without asking. What if you went in and I was naked?
You have a glass door. If you were naked, I would see it and not go in.