Even as a young man, Utesov was driving in Odessa in a crowded tram, and suddenly he heard that the girl was crying - her wallet was pulled out. He asked how much money was in his wallet. The woman replied that it was 20 copies. Then he gave her 20 copies and asked not to cry. The girl calmed down, but, leaving the tram, asked Utesov: "Maybe you will return me the wallet?"

Photo: Lazar Weisbein, better known as Leonid Utesov, 1920s

I have taken all women in my life with the same compliment.
You will not take me!
I will not take! Because you are not like everyone else. You are special, I have never met someone like you in my life!

XXX: 12 years ago, I spoke for more than three hours in a bar with a stranger. When he left, he said goodbye. I was angry at the parking lot. I stumbled back and stumbled at him for not asking for my phone number.

We are now married.

I saw today a girl begging her dad at the playground to forgive her for telling her mother about the beer he bought during a walk. And the father was sitting in the sandbox and said that he would stay here and go home with such a bad daughter no more.

Sometimes the love of the Swan Lake outweighs all sympathy for the New Year's shows of the Caucasian Prisoner, Irony of Fate, Ivan Vasilyevich changes his profession and similar fairy tales.

of 1951.

In Sweden was announced the longest and most prestigious cycling in the history of the Swedish sport! The riders had to conquer the distance of 1800 kilometers, starting in the northernmost city of the country - Haparanda and finish in the southernmost - Istad. More than a thousand athletes from different corners of the country wanted to participate in the race. The 66-year-old farmer Gustav Hakansson decided to participate. He was not a racer, he was a cyclist who loved long journeys.

But the selection was very strict and only 50 people were admitted to the race. One of the main conditions was the age of cyclists – not older than forty years. An elderly farmer’s request was treated as a whore. But Gustav was relentless.

Fifty athletes went to Haparanda by train. They were surrounded by coaches, doctors and mechanics. Before the race, the athletes were rested and full of strength. Living in the southernmost part of Sweden and having no money for the train, Gustav did not think for a long time. He sat on a bicycle and went north, overcoming more than 1,500 km of his course. The organizers simply didn’t believe this when Hakanson again asked them for permission to participate in the race. He replied, “Rest in your chair and take care of your health.”

Would it seem that a strange old man on a dirty bicycle could resist? The number of participants was not included and the number was not given. Then he painted his own and put it right above his clothes — a large round zero. And started on its own, a few minutes after the last driver.

Since Gustav was not included in the general count, he decided to drive according to his own rules and not stop for rest. And for the first time I slept for three hours on a bench in the center of a village only on the third day of the journey. Thus, since he drove at all without stopping, he immediately went into the leaders of the race.

Reporters wrote about it in newspapers. Soon all Sweden learned the story of this low old man with the number "zero" on his chest. One of the newspapers offered Gustav to keep a travel diary, which he gladly agreed to. More and more people learned about him. A few days later, the cyclist met crowds of enthusiastic people in virtually every settlement along the way of the race. In the newspapers he was nicknamed Stlfarfar (Stolfarfar) - the steel grandfather. This nickname was attached to Gustav for the rest of his life.

After 156 miles, police asked the driver to undergo a medical examination. The doctors split their hands — Gustav was in excellent physical shape and could really take part in the race on general grounds.

Gustav ran the race track in 6 days, 14 hours and 20 minutes. He finished 24 hours before the official leader of the race! At that time, he slept, in total, only ten hours! The steel grandfather would have come to Istad earlier. But a dozen kilometers before the finish with his bike occurred the only in almost 3000 kilometers of the road breakdown - he broke the camera. “There’s no time for repairs,” Hakanson decided and walked. On the bicycle he sat a couple of kilometers to Istad and crossed the finish line with the wheel dropped, moving on one wheel.

Thousands of people met Stolfarfarf at the finish. Gustav, filled with flowers, was raised on his arms and brought triumphantly to the city center, where everyone was eager to take a photo with him. The next day after the race ended, he was awarded an audition with the Swedish King Gustav VI, who wished to meet the winner personally. But even now the judges did not recognize the victory of Hutchinson. After all, to give the first place in the race to this strange old man is a shame and a scandal! But that was no longer important.

The whole country recognized him as the winner. People sent Stohlfarfarfar hundreds of gifts, including money, knowing that Gustav had not received the official race prize. It was a popular protest against the official sport. Among the hundreds of letters that the Swedes wrote to Hutchinson in those days, there were the following words: “I am your age, dear Gustav Hutchinson, and I was an old man until I knew about you. But now, thanks to you, I feel young, healthy and happy again. May God bless you!”

Now we tell parents to “take to watch TV.”

Striking your fist at the table after is easier than moving a little before.

A friend told me. I went to my mother with my son, the son is already a man, 20 years old, we were welcomed, it is time to leave, the son said, "Baby, give me money?" Grandma: “Take it there in a box under the bed.” He naturally dives there and from under the bed: “That’s empty!” Grandmother joyfully: "So the money printing machine was cut off... " 81 year old man.

“Son, did you not see where this thing was to clean the potatoes?
Dad, she left you three days ago.

A smart and experienced man on the grail comes with caution.

I remembered how a lady-psychologist accidentally came to our house (I taught her daughter). She asked me if I didn’t want to protest Lisa about possible family misfortune. Lisa was six years old at that time. She was invited to paint a family portrait. The finished picture was this: in the foreground a huge hammer. Back (a much smaller hamster in height) - Dad. In large headsets (more head). Then I was very small with some pot in my hands. Well, and Lisa with a huge glass of Coca-Cola (almost from her height).
The psychologist was in trance. Our family was on the verge of death. Chamyac played a more important role in the life of the child than the parents. The father was terribly indifferent to the daughter, and stunned by the headphones from all the problems of the child, who (the child) suffered from this azzki. The mother was busy with the house routine (the pot) and cared about the child. The Coca-Cola glass, if the memory does not change me, symbolized the child’s desire for the illusory and unattainable (due to our righteousness) glow of the material world.
After listening carefully to the diagnosis, I told the psychologist the following:
1st The car was bought this morning at the subway. This is undoubtedly the most important event in the life of the child has found its reflection.
2nd My father broke his headphones. The child, snoring from his own nobility, handed the father headsets from his personal new player "for one day", and the father, naturally, sang a diffirambe of children's generosity and generosity, which also found its reflection.
Three It was not a pot. It was an old aquarium, which I pulled out of an anthrax to arrange a hammer house in it.
4 is The light of the material world. The hammer was sold to us in a half-liter cardboard glass under Coca-Cola. There was nothing more to carry him.

Elena Malysheva celebrated Thanksgiving at her home. In the USA. Because she knows with certainty that it is necessary in Russia to pulverize the brain of the population and earn millions for it, and to spend them and thank America for their sweet life.

I remember preparing for the operation, tomorrow, the nurse says, at 9 am we will be operated, from 9 pm nothing to eat, and we had dinner at 7 pm, and I had nothing with me. Well, I think fucking with him, in the evening I will endure and in the morning the operation, just after I wake up - there will be a pofig. I wake up from the fact that breakfast is taken, at 7:30-8, well, I can’t and didn’t bring. We were two in the room with my grandfather. Grandfather so cries still, the cough apparently succeeded) well nothing, scary © time 10, 11 no one calls me, I am polite interested in when I will be called, they say this. They brought lunch, grandfather crushed again) by the smell of soup it was clear that it was delicious)) in the stomach shakes, the head turns, dinner time!!! My name is not. After the grandfather (of course delicious!) They came to me and told me that the operation was postponed for tomorrow, nothing to eat. It is your mother! Well what to do) I agreed with everything and went to sleep sad) the next day at 9 am I was already on the operating table)

When you eat what you want, not what’s cheaper, it’s a normal standard of life.When you drink what you like, not what’s cheaper, it’s a higher standard of life.When you travel where you want, not where you’re closer, it’s a really high standard of life.

He sat on the next seat in the train Nuremberg – Munich. I suspected a Russian in him and was going to talk when his phone ringed.

Hi Katie! He said in the telephone. Okay, I am going to the airport. I will see you tonight. I bought Lego, I also bought a doll. I bought you something. No, I’m not going to hint, just guess. You will like. All I kiss. where? At home, the neighbor is listening.

The Wife? I asked.
The Wife. Don’t believe, every three months I go on a business trip and every time I can’t wait to come back. I miss her and my kids so much, even if you don’t drive. But I can’t, the job is good, I’m a feeder.
Such love is rare in our time. How are you so lucky?
Let me tell you. You are in Munich, right?

Apparently, Deutsche Bahn has a roadside frankness not worse than the Russian poster, so I listened to his confession, which I will try to convey.

It started with a friend calling me to the shelters. I’m not a fan of unfamiliar companies, but Serege really needed someone to take him away, and I was the ideal candidate: with a car, I hardly drink and at that time I was completely free. Mom and grandmother tried to introduce me to someone, but I refused, looking for the only one.

They arrived. I cuddly met someone, bite a cuddle and soon got bored by drunk conversations. Decided not to waste a whole day of his only life, go fishing, there Oka is not far away. He went into the car for the wheels, and there came a girl to me. Carey eyes on half-face, puffy lips, bust, waist. T-shirts in the weight. He asks:
Are you on the river? Take me with you? I want to go for a walk, not with anyone, everyone is already drunk. I am Katya.
Maxim said.

The fish were lucky that time. We wandered on the shore for four hours, and there was no talk for four hours. There were common interests, and so she listened enthusiastically, so she caught me in half a word that I could not break away. I went back to the company when it was already dark. My sergeant was dressed up to complete disappearance, he was laid overnight. The others were a little better. And Katya received a SMS and said that she urgently needs to go to Moscow. Something was there with my father, or he fell from the stairs, or he just got bad. Of course, I suggested to take it, along the way we talked. The phone did not give.

I played Sherlock Holmes this morning. Through Seregina, the social network (the Instagram was not yet there, but something was, whether Facebook or VK) found participants of the shashkel, with whom he had time to meet, interrupted their friends and friends of friends. Katy was not found. But three days later she wrote herself, found me in the same way. Unlike her, I had an open profile. I decided to go for a walk in Colombo. Four hours of talk and a farewell kiss. Only one kiss, but such that the pink fog in the head did not let go after very long.

They began to meet, but a veil of mystery waved over her. When I called her somewhere, she was almost always busy. When she called, I dropped all my business and went. What did we do? They walked, walked around Moscow, ate dinner somewhere, sometimes went to a club or to a concert. I always paid, but it wasn’t stressful, it was within my income. The stress was that after a month I still didn’t know where she was studying and working, with whom she lived – sometimes it was said that with her parents, sometimes – that she rented an apartment with a girlfriend. Even the name of her did not know, we transcribed in the messenger, where she appeared under the nickname. “There must be a mystery in a woman,” she replied to every attempt to penetrate her life deeper.

When I was overwhelmed by such an uncertainty, she suddenly asked:
Why don’t you ever invite me?
And I called ten times, she always refused. At that time he was not ready to receive guests, there was, gently speaking, a solitary mess at home, but not to miss such an event. Even in the elevator, she pressed to me with all her body, and when we entered the apartment, it became absolutely unimportant where I was rolling and how many mice hanged in the refrigerator. I’m not a puritan, I know a lot about girls, but what she did with me then – some elements I didn’t even see in porn. There is no night left, again urgent. And I was ready for everything again, only if it would happen again one day.

It was repeated only a couple of times, more often she restricted me to a walk and dinner, and even more often she wrote that she was very busy. Gradually the communication disappeared. And suddenly, after two months of silence, she writes: "My girlfriend's birthday, they removed a cottage in Moscow, will you go with me?"

Cottage was in the Yaroslavl region, but okay, we arrived. A bunch of cars in the yard and behind the gates, a crowd of people in the house. Everyone joyfully begins to embrace Katya, she is there the soul of society. They look at me with astonishment. When we ate and drank and scattered around the house in small groups, I accidentally heard a piece of Katie's conversation with the name. Well, by chance – turned within the hearing range from her, you can say that I listened. I hoped to find out something about her.

What is Maxim? Asked the name. What about Tolkien?
What is Tolik? Katya answered indignantly. There’s no bullshit, forget it. He was sleeping. I am a free man, I do what I want.

She got away from my friend and found me. She pressed her whole body and whispered that there was a beautiful bedroom on top...it needed to be occupied urgently...and that I would bring her stuff out of the car.

I dressed up and went out into the yard. He approached his car, got Katina’s suitcase and backpack. She had a very noticeable backpack, acid-orange, with a barrel in the form of a plush koala. Here Audi came, out of it came some cloud above my head, looked at the backpack.
Did you bring Katie? He asked darkly.
I am. what then?
He brought good. Give her things and go away from here so that I can never see you again.
So what about you, Tolkien? I guessed it.
and Tolik.

At this point of the story, my companion suddenly silenced and stumbled onto the Bavarian villages floating by the window. I waited for a while and then I couldn’t stand it:
And then what? Let me guess. Are you a former lander and prescribed this Tolique ižicu?

Maxim silently shrugged his head.

– So he noticed you, and Katya came to the hospital?
Neither is. I gave Tolika her things, sat in the car and left. I suddenly realized what all her mystery meant. She kept me in reserve. She met me when it didn’t go well with Tolick or he was busy. And even if now Tolik really got his resignation and I moved from the reserve to the main team, that won’t change anything. In the stock will appear some Aliq, Slavik or Garik. Directly from the car, I called my grandmother and took the phone of the granddaughter of Maria Petrovna. A week later I invited this granddaughter to a restaurant, and a month later I made her an offer. She is also Katya. She, of course, has no such wonderful eyes, and the figure is simpler, and there were pauses in the conversation at first, and in sex she had to learn everything. There are no secrets and no tricks.

talked

“As for my plans, you know what the focus is, the focus is that in accordance with the Constitution I have the right to be elected for a new term.”

We know everything. Even the name of the wizard.)

He worked as chief of the cage. He slept, the son took the phone and wrote a text message to the master of the change: "You are over."

In the morning I can’t understand anything, the shop is crystal clean, all the equipment works like a clock. The worried master says:



Everything is fine, all orders have been fulfilled.



Then the phone was blocked.)

Xxx: Change the faith to stop drinking. To such a radical decision, came my childhood friend, who periodically went into drunkenness. Well, logic in this is, the Qur’an prohibits drinking (from his words) in general, was the Dim Philemon (changed) became the Dannyar Faihutdinov (not changed). Somewhere in the genius plan, a mistake was stolen and Danyar fell asleep. For those “geniuses” who want to stop drinking



Yyy: The plan worked halfway, Dima Filimonov still did not sleep.



Zzzz: It’s not a pity.

An individual entrepreneur in Russia is twice happy in his life.
When it opens and when it closes.