bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №133179
 06.09.2016
It was in the late 1990s and early 2000s, my brother and I were 10-12 years old. Then only began to use in communication words such as "Kif", "Crute", etc. Since our family is quite intelligent, the parents actually learned all these words from us and our brother. We ate somehow with the whole family and the brother began to talk about how cool he played football today and how many goals he scored. And the father, deciding to praise the son, with a proud look says:"Mmm, strenuous!" It was necessary to see the brother’s face at this moment. My dad was confused.
' and"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133178
 06.09.2016
Put Ubuntu and update it to Genta.
‎ but why?
‎: Tullin, let down stupid requests. Give it smart. For example, why not?
‎ and

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №133177
 06.09.2016
We help the blind.

Fuck you guys. I went blind on the cats.
Metallica - pop, Iron Maiden - Via Balalaečnikov, Timati - rapper. Stop to! Timothy is really a rapper. Just a fucking

Metal is thrash metal.
Iron Maiden is heavy metal.
Timothy is shit.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133176
 06.09.2016
Oh! Pedivikaia says that Barack Husseinich’s father and mother met at a Russian language lesson. and Barak! Have a conscience. Without the Russians, you’t have existed.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №133175
 06.09.2016
XXX: What is your name?
YYY: My parents named me in honor of the machine gun!
xxxx what is it?
Fuck, you have won.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133174
 06.09.2016
At the last moment before landing, it is recommended to throw a grenade to the ground. The explosive wave of the dome will noticeably slow down.

It’s not a spoon on the USB.)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133173
 06.09.2016
In the new distributions - the film Judge (2016). The Russian actors. The director is Yuli Naia. O_O

I stumbled. The result - You may have meant: Go On.

Okay Google. I went.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133172
 06.09.2016
Stir your hands.
Shut up the shoulder.
Now be sad.
I lie again.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133171
 06.09.2016
I buy in the store products, including a couple of apples.. on the box the seller weighs them to me.. one uncomfortable move and they fall to the floor with a crunch.. Well, I think all, apologies, requests to go to change... But no, the seller, smiling, says: "Heh, you don't drop it - you don't eat" and throws it further into the package.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №133170
 06.09.2016
This happened in the winter, in the stagnant Brezhnev times. I was 10-11 years old. I was a small man, weighed 25 kilograms in a winter coat and shoes. The skeleton. There were countless incredible trials in our courtyard that we had invented for ourselves. Of course, they were on the verge of life and death. Here is one of them. You had to jump between the stairs in the unbuilt hotel, on the last, seventh floor. The distance between the stairs, about four meters and the difference in height, about two meters. From the upper floor, to the lower floor. There was no roof yet, the venues were covered with snow and ice. The fear was added by the fact that the flight, between the stairs, went to the basement with frozen water, only 22-25 meters. And here someone from the courtyard boys shouted, “Come to the building to jump!” I’ve never jumped there, but you can’t retreat, you’ll hear a coward. They came and went to the last floor. I stand on the edge of the venue - the grey sky above, the black abyss below. One boy jumped. He flew to the site, fell, like a protein, plachma on the stomach. I walked to the wall, not much. I stand, pressed to the wall, the stomach is not good, but you have to jump.



Here they are, foolish, boy’s games, “to the weak.” If I find out that my son is riding on the roof of an electric car, or climbing on a highway, I will kill with my hand. In anger, in emotions, but alone. I gave birth, I and... It’s better than I’ll be told about the stupid death of my son, an unknown uncle – a police officer.



Four steps to advance. and jumped. He hit the chest at the end of the square. Taking hands for nothing, it slipped. I fall down my head. I put my hands forward and I fall. Seven floors passed quickly.



It is necessary to put a candle in the church, for the health of the person who leaned to the wall of the corridor of the basement board, long, five or six meters. Smooth, not scratched, with a covered board. How useful it was. He froze into the water, hardened. The board came from the basement, above the floor of the first floor. Here she saved me. He intuitively shrugged his legs when he felt it. He broke down the trousers, pants and of course the skin. The children helped to get out of the basement and out into the street. The right pants are completely removed. I stand naked, there is no blood, but everything is swollen and burning. He ran home, lay down and lay down on the floor, in the corridor. Waiting for parents. My father came first. Silently he divided me, removed my pants and cowards, and laid me on the bed in the same jacket. I covered my legs with a clean towel. Then my mother ran. I screamed, mocked, ripped my hair on my head, pulled my ears. He remained silent, did not give up, said he fell from the garage. The ambulance arrived, looked at, touched, moved, pulled the slides, treated the skin and left. If they knew where I fell from, they would have taken me to the hospital with a flash. Then the cow. I didn't go to school for two weeks, and the courtyard boys were respected. My mom took my vacation, fed me and cried. She mocked and condemned, “Whatever from this construction, one cottage remains!” She didn’t know that last spring I drowned in this cottage.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №133169
 06.09.2016
"You will know a lot, you will soon get old," if you follow this proverb, then the present generation will be forever young.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №133168
 06.09.2016
A colleague came. I was crying and laughing at the same time. He sent a package of documents to the customs. I did not get in detail, but the point was that the customs had to put the stamp and send them back.
Here is a letter from the customs. A envelope, with all the documents, but without seals. And note that the request was not fulfilled because there was no envelope in the letter to send back the printed documents.

They wrote that there was no envelope to send the documents back.

Written in a letter, in a envelope.

With all the documents.

But unstamped, because they will not be able to send back.

I cry with my colleague.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133167
 06.09.2016
If something depended on the elections, we would not have been allowed to participate in them.
Mark Twain

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133166
 06.09.2016
of Estonia. All the Aitishniks cheat poorly, in Russian. I was tired, and I imposed sanctions: for every mother-word - euro in the box! At the end of the day 10-15 euros. The boss gave it today.
I’m not an idiot, but a little bit of it is free. very much need!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133165
 06.09.2016
Comments on 4pda in the article on the purchase of accessories to the smartphone.

by Seastar:
What is Meizu MX4? The Cheol. And maybe a chest. You can also buy a chest. If you don’t need it, you can buy a box. Another interesting option is the chest. Finally, the most important point is the chest.

Mr-tramvaev to SEASTAR
Chevrolet forgot

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133164
 06.09.2016
All the films in the series were anti-historic. I liked this scene most:
Gardermoen: We have to go! Let them be in the tubes!
Apraxin: No, we have to retreat! Let them beat the drums!
Addition from me:
swordfish_77 - Command the flight! Let them drop on the keyboard "Sleeping tired toys"!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133163
 06.09.2016
It’s good to be a Neanderthal.
The Neanderthal scratched
Wearing his neanderthal clothes.
I went to the forest for the mushrooms.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №133162
 06.09.2016
x: And we have the banders in the wreck just in the west, in the center of the jiddobander in the east, the separs.
Q: And in the south?
Z: Ghostly pain in the south.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133161
 06.09.2016
Aaa: In a small laundry store, the seller advertised her product to me, especially advised a retro-coat. I didn’t understand at first, and then it became so funny.

bbb: Not with "retro-drying", but with central charging! It is :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133160
 06.09.2016
Canakau: Damn, dropped a piece of chicken on the MacBook
Now you have a macchin!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna