bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131179
 25.07.2016
When the dog of Fyodor Konyukhov hears the command: "Wander!", he complainingly cuddles, writes and hides under the bed.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №131178
 25.07.2016
and rape

Chord beat, but if I give a guy a drink, he will be obliged to satisfy me in terms of sex. Oblige and objections are not accepted. He agreed to drink with me!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №131177
 25.07.2016
If you walked like a drunk pig in a pit, then the society treats you like the same drunk pig. If you want anyone there to have a right, keep the human appearance, at least in public places.

Little boy, if when you see a drunk pig rolling in the pit, your penis uncontrollably breaks out of cowards, then it is time for you to be treated.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №131176
 25.07.2016
The Rockefeller ruled with colored papers. The rubies are amino.
Do not shake. We are good. Where is the cake?

With you coming, dear admin!
Don’t forget to congratulate us on December 21.
Electricity

This is how Abraham found God.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №131175
 25.07.2016
I am the only one who teaches my son that with a drunken grandmother - no? Drunk - lead to the house, lay on the couch, stunned. You will want to be sober - here are the palms.
In our time, it was somehow unusual to have everything that is unthinkable, why is this hemorrhoidal, sober little?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №131174
 25.07.2016
He threw the wire into a distant sort in the garden, hanged the LEDs.
The first reaction of the child: will there be a USB connector?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №131173
 25.07.2016
The case was in the 1970s, he was still a simple electrician at the factory at the time, and one Friday, at the end of the day, the pipe broke. They decided to hit the hole as quickly as possible. They shut the water and killed. Senior Engineer Command
Take the pressure!
The trunk has gone out into the shield opposite, the water chopsticks, sparks fly...
Engineer: I knew that.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №131172
 25.07.2016
Okay well :

Do not put everything in one bunch. When you go with a goat on someone else’s hose to bowl and eat at their expense – it’s not weariness.

What if it is not with the hump (as you thought), and not for their account, but for the difficulty? Do you think so, or do you have new excuses for the rapists? And if in general, she drank with her friends in the club, went out to breathe and cut behind the corner, without calculating the strength? Is it also his fault? One recently in the states rumored about a swimming student (Brook Turner), who chew what he was doing over a girl who was off. White, "from a good family", athlete-spartzman-advancer. The judge gave him 6 months, because it is not worth wasting the future career of a great athlete, the people have soaked up, they demand the judge for soap. We would have swallowed, or regretted the poor boy, she was like herself drunk and put herself in a helpless position, and he has nothing to do with it, why should he give him a time at all? By the way, his two boys struck him, just rattled from what he saw, stopped him and called the cops. For some reason, they didn't have the thought that "maybe she wanted, she asked, it was bad to drink."" And his father was straight as you reasoned and stated that it was cruel to label his son as a rapist "because of some 20 minutes of action" (literally). To justify hatred.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №131171
 25.07.2016
My friend missed a cat. Long sought, not found. A few months later, they find him at the door of a neighbor’s house.



According to the owner of the cat:

- I see - he sits, all such a cared for, in an anti-blush collar... I take it on my arms, I feel - from the mouths spotting... And he looks at me so proudly and fiercely - this is, say, what my life is now, not what you have... I even stinked a mild smell of alcohol...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №131170
 25.07.2016
One day my uncle’s wife went somewhere for a couple of weeks. To her sister or to her mother. And when we came to visit him, we asked him what he ate without his wife, because they knew that he had never been a friend of cooking. He smoked a cigarette and said:

I cook soups, boiled all kinds of sauces.

Do you know how to cook?

He pulled a cigarette, as the character from the militant pulled a cigar before some heroic phrase, and says:

What to know here? In time mixed the foods in the right proportions and ate while it was hot.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №131169
 25.07.2016
When I was a student, I worked in the guard. We had the head of the security service Petrovich. As soon as the management decided to strengthen our service, we bought shockers. The shocker is similar to a bowl of 40 cm in length and very threateningly cracked and gave such an unshakable bow when pressing a button.

We had a central post there. A place to change clothes and eat. There were also monitors and the change took place there, and the flyer at the beginning of the change was there.

Morning: everyone changed clothes, change accepted, change handed over, tea or tea all things.

Petrovich comes in no hurry, and beats himself in the ass with a shocker and quietly like under his nose: "Well what a shit? Who is this scared? “Chinese shit.”

Does Petrovich not work?

Just to tick her...

Let me try!

- on...

The boy takes a shock and beats himself in the hand. It turns in place as in multiples. Shocked who happened? Petrovich gets a rubber plate from his back pocket: "Well, now we know that there is a lot of them, I couldn't let you go without knowing it works or not."

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №131168
 25.07.2016
Truth helps to mask lies.

[ + 4 - ] Comment quote №131167
 25.07.2016
I traveled with my Danish husband to my hometown of Saratov. Impressions are mass. My husband and daughter are back on the bus from the beach. There are two buses in the bus. One has a healthy bleach under the eye, the other lacks tr

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131166
 25.07.2016
There is a scandal in St. Petersburg.
People who received the money for the Zenit arena for seven years learned that the stadium, it turns out, had to be really built.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №131165
 25.07.2016
This is not a comparison in the sense that you put in this word. Right, if a person sat down to drink with whom he got, having in his pocket money from the sale of the apartment - he is an idiot. If he boasted and showed that money - the more an idiot.
> and >
And your comparison also crumbles on both legs. Using your example, the thing is that any, absolutely any woman has money from the sale of an apartment always with you, here boast-do not boast. Any woman always has the risk of being “robbed” simply because she is a woman. The fact of birth.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №131164
 25.07.2016
The lexical reproduction:

How about Gogol-Mogol in English?
The Shakespeare Mexper.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №131163
 25.07.2016
by DODO:

And with the fighting pitores, the analogy for the babes is not seen at all - if a stranger approaches and says that he has 110 kilograms, he has been engaged in boxing for 15 years and he has been pitores, I will surely refuse to drink with him in the bar and will not go home to him. Why do women do this, who know by default that a man wants her and stronger than her, I do not understand.

In most cases with women - it is NOT a stranger, but quite a friend from a common company, previously seemed normal. "I’ll take you home after a company party" comrade. How much can you blame not the criminal, but the victim?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №131162
 25.07.2016
“Mommy, why are you living with Uncle Cole, and have you expelled Daddy?! to
He drinks and does not work.
I don’t see the difference...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №131161
 25.07.2016
About the drunkard:

In studenthood, they often hanged in someone's house or in the shelter and drank, no - bumped, and nobody raped anyone. We drink, we listen to music, we joke, we cheer, we watch movies. Then we walk apart, walking around the houses. Per, yet, when raped by drunkenness, it is not a normal completion of the trial, but someone a moral wretch?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №131160
 25.07.2016
Pearl of the day: "Protection against dry sliding".

This is the EEG generation. You put something on a smooth glass, metal or plastic surface, tilt it and you will see that dry slide. A fully used term.

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