"Reading Tolstoy" reminded me of one story from a physitech. When the first homework was to find N errors in a new edition of a textbook on Matan. The edition was new, the internet when it did not exist.

It is good to fight about the giraffes. Let’s talk about cloning pigs in sex shops.

There was a grandfather from a deaf village in Moscow. He is surrounded by the villagers, he tells them what, and how.
I went to an intimate shop.
What is this?
Anto is a special store for anto business. Don't believe, there are even artificial babies there.
Everyone is surprised, and one broken baby asks:
And what, Petrovich, are the men there artificial?
There is. I didn’t see it this time, but I didn’t get some spare parts.

Kursk is so deaf that yesterday I was chasing a fox for Lenin.
XXX: I am not joking.
XXX: The real lion
XXX is Pokémon.
She ran to the summer terrace next to Pushkin and sat on the stage.
I was given a shale in this restaurant to lure a fox, but I secretly ate it.

Mom, thoughtfully examining the contents of the refrigerator and bar after the trip:
“I hope you ordered yourself a pizza or this nightmare Chinese food, because otherwise it means that the week we were not there you were only drunk eating olives.

In hell the philologists in Chan with resin are laid and laid.

"In the woods the road is updated"- and what the woods are, the hell knows it.

The dictionaries stopped printing, the internet search engines forbidden parents to use?

> It is only annoying when you openly invent left-wing reasons for rejection. Be kind not to lie or hypocrite.

I personally get even more upset when even left-wing reasons don’t come up with it. In our office we refused to hire a suitable by qualification (by resume, at least) programmer, then an admin. Tech.lead (one of those who need approval) every time says he won't take because a woman. On the collective question "and what?" the answer from the tech.led was never received.

# feared

Fima, close your mouth on the other side, let the doctor calmly make your opinion!
Have you drank for the shit?
What are you kidding with her? We have things to do for the glands!
Don’t make me nervous, there’s more to ruin!

Once upon a time, three ugly boys stood on the road like shlagbaums. Pulled out of the pockets of feathers, castets and the same such brave standing with a punch on the mouths to make us not good. So Dawa, never thinking about it, struck them down the jaw.

You’re chasing your mother into the grave, son, and even deeper!
Make my mother an orphan.
From where this Cilia came, she behaves like a Romanian prostitute!
What kind of wife are you here? Here is your mother!

xxx: the new head of our district management of the municipality is painted with a unique figure, which is terribly similar to a dog of mulch about Lolik and Bolik, if you remember. Depending on his mood or rush - the dog gets eggs, a tail with a torch or a twisted pig tail, smells something under his legs or in front of him... here was today's with echoed eyes. We collect all his letters, and then, if you list quickly, you get a cartoon :)

xxx: In connection with the release of Pokemon Go, we decided to shoot a fun story: how we chase Pikachu on a tank. Even a tank at the Defense Ministry was asked for this case.
YYY: Have you been quick?
XXX: I am not. But the chiefs, who banned the video, because Pikachu is yellow, and this is one of the colours of Ukraine, and we are his tank, and because of this the edition will acquire a bad political image - it seems, yes.

Listen to the story. I used an antivirus. He went in and looked. So, this is what you have? And here? and ah. and clearly. Where is the license? I am a decent program, I will not work for love. Love the proof!
He jumped crazy.
Antivirus – what is it? I will remove. Or somehow worrying. I cannot so.
I switched off the antivirus and started a new one.
What, does it not give? Those of you!
Now we divorce. Look here, you are here, you are here, you are here. And it is yours forever. Look, it’s a new version. I love such. When the soft is fresh, every pig sweats it.
Antivirus waking up: Oh, what was it? I was so drunk...what? It was, it was. As in a dream. The ring on the finger, a record in the register. Now I am with you forever. Where my predecessor is, I will go to clean up. What is it? The scream? You are not ashamed, what a shit! I pulled into the house! We have to clean it all!
You guys, you guys, you guys, I’ve gotten rid of you all! Well, he didn’t wash his feet when he went in, he didn’t wash his hands. But that’s not a puppy, bro!
Antivirus - ha, 97 threats pulled. of 102. You are Tripper! Don’t listen to him, he wants you evil. Now you have me and you don’t need anyone else.
Going away is a goat! Life is evil! The Goat!

Blink is scary. I married so.

At the end of the answer, a few words about sexism. Only the woman decides whether the future child will live or not. A woman has such a priority right to a child in a divorce that it is easier to say that a man does not have it at all.

If you want a child (in case of divorce, preventing abortion) - fight

And then give you the right - you will have children, then the first ores, why was it to give birth? You will not get the food out of you.

Discussion of memories of first days with rights:

Aaa: I had the 123th Mercedes diesel, 2 liters. I remember every run here.
bbb: And I first had an eclipse with a turbine, I remember that time as one continuous overtaking. And then I went on a wheezy ride, I remember both of them well.

I visited a small town. He got out of the hotel, got all the papers, went out. There was a lot of time before the train, decided to leave a suitcase on the reception (common practice for large cities) and walk around the city. I ask the girl at the stand: Can I leave my suitcase? and. The girl decides to clarify with the elderly by title. And here I hear in their dialogue: He was discharged, right? Well then on what grounds, because he is no longer a hooligan...

It was so easy to decide my fate.

Stoppers woke up under the windows. Screams, clashes and all that. A brother-in-law of 110 kg takes a paper for stickers, which is printed there and goes down. Then every stallion climbs on the mausoleum and leaves. I ask what I printed?

Certificate of Master of the World. Orals, as victims, threatened to the police to complain about self-rule!

XXXX: I was pedaling from lunch to work, I was driving here on a narrow, low-pass trail... A guy, thick, in headphones, was going in front of me. I called him by phone, and I screamed - pooher, and do not go around anyway... Going hands under the music something mashed, I followed him slide slowly... Apopheosis happened when he lost, and so delicious, long and ringing!!!! and... he looked around and looked back, and did not burn him :))) It should have been to see his roar!!!!!!!! to

I’ll go to coworking, I’ll think about messaging.
BBB: We sit three on 10 square meters. We have a camcorder.

Once at work.
XHX: Imagine you just closed up with the guys in the room on the first floor and sat down two pizzas.
WOW: How many were you?
XHX: Man 5, and also the designer, zzz, you know her.
Q: Did you put her under you?
Xhx: I’ll tell you more, she’s the organizer of the event.

A friend of a programmer told me. He works in a small office, where he, the boss, and a couple of personalities of questionable orientation, such as a carpenter, designer, etc. He and the boss do coding accordingly. The office is quite successful, everything with money, especially the boss. The boss, like a terrible autistic programmer, always goes to lunch alone in various business centers nearby. On one (not)beautiful day, a new employee is hired, or more precisely, the employee is hired. And the employee, don’t be stupid, put an eye on the boss and let him go for lunch. She was, by the way, very sympathetic. However, the boss was deeply concerned about this, for him, his inner world was important. But I could not send the employee, day by day everything was dark and dark, the lines of code were not written anymore. He was also dismissed as a noble man. Then he had a clever plan. I called this friend himself and said, "That way, give friendship, let me pay you a premium every month, and you Anka (suppose she was called Anka) with truths and lies for lunch." A friend cried out that it was generally a good option to cut off the money and began to take care of the employee. Flowers, candy, and so came to the joint lunch. Currently married, 2 children. I forgot to ask if the boss still pays him the prize for keeping Anka away from him.

xxx: I have now received puzzles from the management for what (I quote literally) "you have the wrong facial expression for the job".
I’m sitting here, I think... does the shaking eye fit into the corporate concept. Or wear dark glasses. I don’t know how right)

WOW: It’s right to get in the eye for such claims. Do they need to go, or do they need to go?

XHH: In our case, as in the rules of the arbitration of horse sports - the referee can reduce the points to the rider. I think the horse is sad.

Forget with your feet!

I often have a dream: in a room around the circle, my numerous leaders are sitting, I stand in the center, and loudly send each one a nahuy, slowly turning around my axis.