bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №131879
 09.08.2016
You’re talking about grandmothers again.
They don’t go back to school soon, right?
and miserable

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131878
 09.08.2016
Freedom of speech best reveals that most people have virtually nothing to say.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №131877
 09.08.2016
“Two Ugly People” (Bill)

My colleague, from Russian Germans, told me that from childhood I felt how in western Ukraine they are being treated negatively toward the Russians.
I was surprised how she, having lived her whole life in Omsk, could feel it. It turns out at the age of 12 this chicken with a friend was on a tour in Lviv. Walking around the city, they decided to find out the time from the local uncle, and he did not answer the question "which hour", but called them "two wretches".
And now, 30 years later, I had to explain to her that “2 hours” is “2 hours” and not an insult.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №131876
 09.08.2016
How can a teacher with two kidneys complain about the material situation?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №131875
 09.08.2016
By the way, there seems to be no speed restrictions in India... And roads, frankly, too.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №131874
 09.08.2016
And to the divination.
At work, everything depends on the boss.
The company is not young, the company too. Repairs and new furniture.
In our department was sent to breakthrough a group of young designers.
The unloading of the furniture and its subsequent assembly were paid full salary + rent. In order not to delay the process, they were also encouraged to leave work earlier.
Yes, and in general, spoofing is regularly paid for with some plush, like done, released from lunch.
So far no one complained.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №131873
 09.08.2016
My son came from the garden.
What word is better?
Pizzetz or Ahuetz?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №131872
 09.08.2016
I was 5-6 years old, and as many took me for the summer to my grandmother in the village, which I was very happy, because in the city of interesting places only a playground in the yard, and in the village fields, forests, elevator, abandoned warehouses, a bunch of diverse animals.... and almost all the time you are given to yourself.

Everybody wants to have their own lounge, and I am no exception. The look fell on the old stove, and it was decided to start from the lighting, there was no light bulb, but there was a socket.

I did not find the necessary ammunition. Then I gathered all my knowledge about electricity and the powerful childhood logic, developed the "ideal plan". It was decided to take a nail, wrap it with an insulated light bulb and insert it into the socket. It only remained to make sure of the reliability of the design, that the nail will not fall out of the socket, and can only be checked in practice. Without a back-thinking thought and with complete confidence that all calculated nail with bare hands is sent into the hole. The rubber pads did their job and I was only greatly overturned. At this point, I realized that the bulb would not work, and the nail should be pulled out, and immediately, and I did this, in fact, - all with the same bare hands.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №131871
 09.08.2016
I go with my friend after work on the street. It is a pretty feminine person. As we pass by her, she asks me if there is a pen and a sheet of paper. I give.



He turns around, begins, attaching a leaflet to the wall of the house, writing on it the following: "You liked me very much, call me at the number:8-...." At this moment I catch the look of a comrade, filled with envy and respect, transmitting something like: "Well samets!". I proudly turn to the lady, and she returns the pen, says thank you and squeezes the sheet under the yard of the parked Lexus.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №131870
 09.08.2016
I watched the film “Survivor” today.

The boy climbs up the tower, though it’s too high for such little ones.

Who is it? They ask him from somewhere above.

“Sierra,” he said, climbing the stairs.

What other serenity?

It is suicidal!

We turned back several times. The word fits into the context, but not in the Soviet film of the sixties.

Finally I heard:

Away from the street!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №131869
 09.08.2016
for "free ride" as a result girls "give"

Girls don’t get to know and don’t give to those they don’t like, and for small services too. So you just get extra profits from those who would get acquainted with you and fuck you just like that.
And in what tomb all the other women saw the payment of services with sex, you will be painted in the paint already permanent residents of this site.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №131868
 09.08.2016
From 2 to 4 times a year I, the most common middle-aged and medium-sized aunt, go to other cities for a few days. Of course, I take some amount of luggage with me, by public transport, because the metro in Moscow is more reliable than a taxi. There has never been a case that, seeing me dragging my suitcase down the stairs, none of the men offered me their help.
I have no illusions about my irresistible appearance and extraordinary sexual attractiveness, in two cases out of three with me a very elderly mother. Do I also have to think that these assistants need something from me, or can I stay with my opinion that we just have good people?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №131867
 09.08.2016
Strange you have a dispute.

I personally helped carry the weights. This is the norm at work. Furniture and etc. When I moved, I helped others, when I moved, they helped me. Before the feast, women were cooking.

Yes, mutual aid does not mean that everyone is riding on you. First, the work on transfer is episodic. The second is reciprocal. No one refused my memory. No one saw it as a help to a woman. This is obviously a man’s job. Women simply couldn’t get it physically.

But the floor washing was on schedule for everyone regardless of the floor.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №131866
 09.08.2016
Note: when there was a femsrac, the men were terribly destroyed - how do you, naked feminists, dare to whisper about independence? Giving traditional gender roles, we are strong men. Cooking, cleaning and raising children are not of interest to us - we have a lot of super-heavy male duties and generally the society demands more from men.
Now it turns out that, it turns out, these mythical male duties exist only in theory. In fact, even a 10-minute help in moving that infamous couch becomes a feat of Heracles.
As we found out, most girls would prefer not to be connected, but either do such things on their own, or pay chargers. The seats in the transport guys have not been inferior to the girls for a long time and do not consider it necessary (the elderly/pregnant are inferior mostly to the same girls).
But at the same time – household duties and children should be entirely on the woman: how, I am a man.
Work on an equal basis with your husband, take the sofas and wheelchairs yourself, but at the same time be kind, coming from work, to cook, clean, wash, smooth your husband and children and serve your husband dinner, while his light rests from work. That’s fair, that’s equal partnership.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №131865
 09.08.2016
When I read the shit I want to write...
Let’s go now, you diabolics.
Where did you raise it all?! to

But then I think, well, we go down to their level, and I delete the message carefully.

I guess I didn’t hold up today. Monday is a mess.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №131864
 09.08.2016
On the 32nd Street, Hell and Israel. Flow crane, I call a familiar sanitary technician for help
Call me later when it’s cooler.
I am happy: in the evening?
C: Aha, in January

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №131863
 09.08.2016
One day, on a question-answering service, a student asked a question: "This is where everyone is running Linux!!! He is a shit, right?He was answered only with one word, after which he came out of himself, began to mourn, to call, and soon was mocked. The answer was "Why?"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №131862
 09.08.2016
You’re so cute when you take off your glasses.
You’re a lot more beautiful when I take off my glasses.
Canakau: Yes, you don’t have to be a pickup.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №131861
 09.08.2016
Drawing the Unicorn
I wake up from the fact that a loved one shakes my shoulder, ticks my nose with the phone screen and asks something angry. The first thought was that the embarrassed marketing boy knew my number and now for his embarrassment I would be killed. Then comes the realization that it is a loved one’s phone. Then I see a message on the screen: "The Dragon does not collapse in the Epsilon surroundings". Then I realize that the message was sent from my phone, which is folded and lies next to me on the notepad. What I dreamed, why I wrote it and why I did not remember it is a mystery.
P.S The question of the lover sounded somewhat like this: "You know, Daenerys, we sleep on the same bed! Nathalie to Assange? Call me next time!"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №131860
 09.08.2016
Recruiters are very often looking for responsible, communicative, purpose-oriented, etc., but they themselves are irresponsible, saying “we will call you back” and not call back.

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