The cat knows whose meat it has eaten, but the visitor is not.

The wife of your sister's husband

There is a designer working on ordering. And his face is strange – like the stewardess who goes into the cockpit to report that there is a terrorist in the cockpit.
“Sally, can you come to my office?
And what happened?
Better to see yourself...
- Just don't tell me that the book in the printing was damn printed, I just won't experience it!
No, the book hasn’t been brought yet, but you come.
Interested, I go to the designers. In the middle of the office is a middle-aged woman holding a pile of A4 paper in her hands. He reacted to me with some suspicious joy.
Explain why they don’t want to help me here.
What happened to you?
I want to print a portrait of a loved one on the canvas. He has birthday soon! My husband has birthday!
You are a private person?
I want to print a portrait of my husband. Your husband, you know?
Unfortunately, we do not work with individuals on these issues. And the canvas is not textile, but special paper. You should go to a small private advertising firm.
But I want you! - she insists, and her eyes somehow suspiciously glow. And then she shows what she has on the papers she shakes heavily: pictures printed on a poor black and white printer.
I take all the photos from her hands, look carefully and return with a breath:
“You see, even if we agreed to print one portrait on behalf of a private person, you have all the photos of very poor quality. Let the husband be photographed in the salon.
“But understand, girl, I want to make a surprise for the anniversary of our relationship!
Do it, I shake my shoulders. And we cannot help anything.
I’m going to complain to your boss that you’re rejecting me. She says evil.
Go on, I agree. Do not distract us from work.
The woman still stands in the middle of the office for some time, as if looking for the strongest arguments, but nothing, apparently, hasn’t come up with it, cleansing itself.
How to understand it? - Nearly a choir asks designers who have watched our dialogue very closely. Why did this strange grandmother bring a picture of your husband?! to

Why, why, because there are people of goats. Back in March, one such acquaintance asked his husband to give a small legal advice to his sister, very asked. The case was quite simple – consumer rights – and the husband agreed. He has a pitiful character in general, he cannot refuse simple requests to strangers, for which he was repeatedly grieved by me. As a result, the woman came, seemed polite and asked questions about the case, but the husband remained convinced that something was wrong with her. She looked strangely, stressfully, as if one of her visible secret signs had been written on his face, and did not express a special interest in the matter in which she came, although, according to her, it was very important for her. The consultation was short, the husband refused the money, and it would end, but this was only the beginning. I would say a prelude.

The next day began the bouquet season. The woman called my husband and asked to meet her at the cafe. He refused, citing the fact that he gave her enough information on her case, and if she has little, then it is better to hire a lawyer or contact a consumer protection society. She apologized and said goodbye. In the evening, I found him on social networks and started writing something like “how is it?”, “what are you doing?”, “I think of you.”

The husband cautiously asked his acquaintance why his sister behaved so. He refused: said, I have no idea, maybe you liked her, don't take it into your head. And then more. My husband received messages from the series "my love will overcome everything, and we will always be together", "I think of you - and therefore, you think of me", "I dreamed of our future, we will be happy." Darkness in general. My faithful, understandable case, put a fan on a black list. And she stopped guarding him at work. Sometimes I approached with a joyful look and cries that they agreed to meet in a cafe today, and it was very difficult to get rid of her. Sometimes I just stared in silence from afar. She left him small gifts at work - a diary, candy, cognac with cards in the form of a heart. It is good that in the work of my husband's colleagues people are serious, they don't know how to joke (every appearance there is a moral trauma), or they would raise the "object of passion" to laugh.

After some time, through acquaintances, I found out that this lady is mentally ill (as if nothing new, but she, as it turned out, has both a certificate and disability pension). She pursues all the men she deals with. For example, causing a sanitary for some small trouble. He pays, takes the money, goes away. After a day or two, she calls again, calls for another mess, the one comes — like everything in order, and she meets him at a full parade, with wine and catering. and so on. She lives with her parents who are already very old. She tells relatives and acquaintances that she has a fan who gives her flowers and invites her to date. Then she literally begins to cry and hysterize, supposedly he dropped her. And the family instead of somehow trying to arrange her treatment, is just looking for her "victim". And once she bought something with marriage (whether a fan, or something like that), her brother bothered her to go to a lawyer for advice — and advised my husband. Agreed on reception - and voila, the sister is absorbed by "new love", the relatives do not understand. The candidacy of my husband, which is typical, this family is fully satisfied, since he is a gentle person by nature, will not roughly send and will not harm (or she tried to chase one taxi driver, so he almost beat her, took her to the industrial zone and threw her out of the car, then with the police were looking). Fantastic dogs, right?

What to do in such a situation, the husband as a lawyer did not quite imagine. Such persecution does not fall under any sanctions, in addition, a woman with a certificate, even if she begins to rush on it - what to take from her? We do not hospitalize the heavily bullied until someone is thoroughly murdered. The husband called this dog-familiar, asked to persuade his sister to leave the persecution, it was better to look after her, to show the doctor. The acquaintance just shrugged his shoulders: “I can’t do anything.

And in the end, she came to me in the office, knowing exactly that there is a “separator” here. After explaining to colleagues that my husband is being persecuted by a mentally ill woman, I decided to act on my own. I had the phone of my rival brother. And I called.
Hi my dear!
Where are you calling? He was amazed.
“To you, little girl,” I answered gently. Let’s meet at the cafe.
Have you confused me with someone?
“I’m Sally, the wife of your sister’s husband,” I explained. Did you understand now?

And he understood. He, the shit, quickly understood what I was going to do. For example, to the fact that his wife will not believe for anything, that he did not go aside or at least did not try if I started writing him gentle text messages and so on. Without a certificate. If you don’t believe me, I’ll come up with something else. The main thing is to start and deepen. What is far to go for examples - here, at Picaba, there were thematic stories. And Kolenka, the creature, cried out that I was very, very angry, and now there will be a response with the involvement of all my resources, because I have such a job - to accumulate useful acquaintances.

Except for the May holidays (which were not holidays at all, but this is a different story), for more than two weeks no one pursues us and our husband. Hi you, Colin, if you are reading Picaba.

One minute and you are in Minsk!

I walk somewhere in the street, I squeeze a beer, and here I see a picture: two workers... wear one fist (a long time to explain all the technical details), and there is a decently dressed guy standing next to them and watching them. I, being a little familiar with such processes, approach and say:

I’m sorry guys, isn’t it easier to do it this way?

Further, an incomprehensible reaction: the workers laughed, and the man (prorab) became white.

Yes, at first they told him that it was better to do as I said, but the prorab insisted on his own. And I was already the third one who went by and offered their option...

X: Fuck, and I was similar. At the height of the process, my girl is like this - hit me!

My mother taught me that girls can’t beaten.

Uncertainly, she wrote so.



Yyy: Even during sex he is about his mother!

Any power sings sweetly, but it always lacks your voice.

I took my son from the garden. We walk down the street, talk about life, the weather is great, suddenly he asks:
When will I go to the military?

I did not expect this from a six-year-old boy.

“You’re still early, in twelve years, I say.
And you when?
I am old, I don’t need the military for a long time. Why did you talk about this topic?

It turns out, in the garden five boys play in the military: Andrei, Artem, Sasha, Kolya and my Anton. Kolya, such a roasted and pink boy, they call Batyaja Kombat. There is also a captain, a soldier, a sergeant and a wagon driver. Anton is a soldier.

“Dad, take me to the military now. I just want to see.

I agreed, only said, tomorrow, today is too late.

At eight in the morning, Anton was already standing at our bed.

- The military committee is still closed, early, - I broke out.

The son got the phone, showed the schedule of work of this institution - from half nine. I took a breath and went for breakfast. My son looked at the clock.

At nine they went out. Ten minutes by bus, a few minutes on foot, and here he is, the military commissariat of our district. Anton worried: he is the first of all kindergartens to visit the actual military command, the boys will be jealous!

Go to the main entrance. On the first floor crowded young guys, the call in the midst.

A young woman in a white coat and a mask was sitting at a brown table, looking at us with amazement. I sent Anton to look at the pictures on the wall, whispering to explain the situation.

To my surprise, the woman did not get angry, asked her son's name, said a few words to another employee. Then he turned to the boy:
“Let’s go, Anton, I’ll show you one interesting place.

I took him by the hand and went to the second floor. She talked about service, tanks, soldiers. My son listened with great enthusiasm.

And here we stood in front of the big door. Behind it is an act hall, red chairs, a tribune, a flag. We went to the tribune, Anton looked at everything with great interest, touched. The door opened, a woman looked into the room, told something to our storyteller, smiled at the boy and waved her hand.

The woman who accompanied us spoke to her son:
“Anton, on behalf of the entire military commissariat, allow me to hand you a certificate as the youngest and most determined soldier in our city.

And she proceeded to him a beautiful form indicating his surname and name, as well as a small flag of the Russian Federation and a small poster with a calendar that depicts the building of the military committee.

The child was entirely delighted. We thanked the officer, the son touched my sleeve and asked:
Dad, take a picture of me here.

Using the opportunity, I want to say to you, Regina Igorovna, a huge thank you for the positive emotions given to us and our son.

From the letter of Alexey,
Mr Chelyabinsk

The oculist’s office.
What letter?
and me.
There is no letter “me”. There is the letter “am”. Do you understand? What letter is that?
and no.
What kind of “no”? “Ann,” you know, “Ann!” What letter is that?
...........
Why are you silent? Do not see?
I see.
So you say!
The ep?

Almost all non-partisan candidates in the State Duma elections are candidates from United Russia, but they carefully hide this from their voters.

Many years have passed away from my knowledge of Ictoopia. Ppiexaal in ix ceme in Gothi Swedish. Pcle ocмотpa wcex doctoppimecatelnoctsy, ppiexaeli they wcecte na dacy and went gylet in lec. B. Somebody is swedish, raises c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. Emy finds out that nikaxi containers in lecy net. Then he gives up, whoever drinks, me personally, powerfully ordered, as our civilization is far from the dpyg of dpyg. He cpppocil: "A why do we say this in the lec, ecli net containepa?"

Sochians have asked Russians not to come to this resort city by personal transport. And in general: according to the locals, it would be better if the Russians did not come to Sochi at all, but simply sent money.

After the morning run there is a feeling that nothing worse can happen to you today. I think that is the meaning.



yyy: You people's brain is arranged so that it seeks to bring the body to maximum balance - homeostasis))) To feel well you did nothing, saved strength and accidentally did not harm yourself. Therefore, your brain does not approve of running and physical exercise. But you can trick a little and put into the run element of the game. Imagine yourself as a flight hero. The deceived brain will give you adrenaline and more endorphins to this enterprise if you can escape and the brain will be saved.

Tell me what your goal is and I’ll tell you whose target you are.

The story of the checker in Russia, taken from Picabus:

Depending on what kind of check. If the working conditions are checked - then the teaspoon is placed in a visible place, the microwave, single-use dishes are obtained from the warehouse. Everywhere they put additional lamps, twisted lamps, allowed to turn on the air conditioner. And if firefighters come - everything is hidden, tea on this day can not be drunk, warm food in the sun. If Rospotrebnadzor comes - all entrances and exits are decorated with filter barriers, with tables, antiseptics, gloves-masks-bakhils, registration journals and other shit. If firefighters come - all this is hidden, as the entrances and exits must be free. If security guards come - everything should be closed, roofs stand, locks hang, keys in the safe and the alarm is turned on. Counter-terrorism security from the Ministry of Internal Affairs requires that the backup outputs be locked, while opening them with the anti-panic pen is prohibited. The conspirators can enter. If suddenly the firefighters returned again - the roofs are urgently opened, the doors are opened, the keys are open. In short, these firefighters are very stressful.
What if they all came right away?
The inspectors are loose. They have to come with the inspection comprehensively, all in one day and hour. A single day of voting. The fines are enough for everyone. And the stick for the work done will be put, and the treasury will be filled, and in the pocket will be taken thanks. The fines at the lower threshold were issued.

If all Palestinians are relocated to the Jewish Autonomous Region, they can fulfill their centuries-old dream of living on Jewish land without Jews.

XX: Worked a lot where, sometimes not for a long time. Sometimes not very long. One of cases.



I became an accountant. On my first day the dismissed accountant began to hand over things to me, on my second day she was no longer out, though she had to work a few more days. She did not respond to phone calls. Part of the case remains unsolved. The head of the company spoke to me for a long time, and then ordered me to go to the staff department, take the address of that accountant, go to her home and pull her hand to work so that she could complete the business.



I went to the personnel department, picked up the papers and went home.

The President gave instructions to speed up the consideration of bills on criminal liability for justification of democracy and calls for justice.

A couple of weeks ago I hired a developer from the depth. Call him on his cell phone:
– Yes...
- Girl, you didn't get there, we don't repair computers.
Of course, I can repair Windows, but...
How much does it cost...? and 25 thousand!
I will soon.
He turns off his cell phone and starts going somewhere. Then he slowly cried out:
- Fuck Moscow... I specifically said 25 to get rid of it.

Adult life is watching a medium-sized screen all day to come home in the evening and reward yourself by watching a large screen, periodically distracting yourself to a small screen.

Xxx: My husband has a very tough character. He is always dissatisfied with everyone, criticizes everyone, struggles with everything.

Sellers, taxi drivers, cassiers, neighbors, partners at work are very difficult to deal with.

My husband and I recently went to the market. He is usually accepted to criticize all the goods from every seller from whom we buy something. I try as much as I can to tame his words.

We approach the apple store. The husband begins to look at each apple and makes a verdict to the sellers: "Your apples cannot be bought. They have some chemistry. There is no apple. If the worm doesn’t eat, then it’s a bad apple.”

The sellers – two cheerful old aunts – shout in response: “It’s not true! We weigh you how many apples you want, man. There is a separate bag with them. How many kilos do you have?”

The husband is confused, the apple from a separate bag for some reason does not want and falls down at sunset.



Yyy: Pipet with such a living...