bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156317
 21.05.2021
Every power is a servant chosen by the master, the people. And nothing surprising: like every unclean maid, while the master is asleep, she shakes her master’s pockets, and hammeres all the most delicious.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №156316
 21.05.2021
"The insidious virus causes severe consequences" (from the newspapers).
A friend was diagnosed with covid. Well, he responsibly isolated himself for three weeks to the village, eating ibuprofen, ginger and garlic. For a couple of days I did not smell, coughed a little longer, healed. Peace and fresh air.
His wife did not let him go home. with a certificate of recovery. She said, “You and I lived very badly. Without you, it is very good to live.“”
There is no question about Khalifa - a friend of the neighbors questioned.
In such love. Two adult daughters, a 12-year-old granddaughter.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №156315
 21.05.2021
If to be historically accurate, then in the subject “Basics of Orthodoxy” should teach Judaism.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №156314
 20.05.2021
Artists, dogs and prostitutes should not be touched. They are needed at any power, until they have passed into the Duma."

A. Kolchak

[ + 39 - ] [13 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156313
 20.05.2021
XXX: A long-distance driver came to unload us. He spoke Russian poorly, but understandably. While the car was unloaded, he walked to the nearest store. He comes, scratching the tail.
Do you think the potatoes don’t grow?
I: It is growing.
Q: What about the cabbage?
I: It is growing.
PS: (I thought) - Why is it so expensive, we only have the car?

YYY: What to think about? He purchased plastic casting at a Moscow factory, then ran into bargains, which sold casting in similar forms in the Czech Republic. It turned out that the Poles bought from the Czechs, our - from the Poles, I - from our own. And with such a chain of intermediaries, one hren was cheaper than at a local factory. To my surprise, the director of our factory said:

I had to come, I had to give money.
They came from SES and had to give money.
............
............
............
A firefighter arrived and had to give money.

All this is in the cost. In the same cucumbers, production costs are much lower than corrupt ones. Remove the bad stuff and ALL, absolutely everything will cost times cheaper.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №156312
 20.05.2021
Everyone has sex. The broadest range of positive emotions. The child was stabbed in the head, pedophile. The other one is gay. Cat scratching behind the ear is scary.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156311
 19.05.2021
xxx: The daughter was somehow confused by the dilemma about the Chinese and the train (there is a train in it 💯 Chinese, and some hernia with the rails - it's about to crash. But next to you is a Chinese, and if you push him under the train, the crash will not happen. Your actions?

She replied – I’d better myself under 🚆 I’t be able to kill a person.

Here I was confused.



Chinese on the train? Then you can somehow get this one to the others on the train and in the crash! Sorry, I just worked with Chinese tourists.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №156310
 19.05.2021
xxx: Fuck, and I don't like anyone to see if I'm crying - because I'm turning into some kind of fucking shit, objectively. With a swollen face and algae eyes, like a Chinese bitten by bees.



YYY: Everything is subjective. For yourself, you are a "dirty shit", and for someone, a "sweet, swollen face with mysterious eyes"



and ZZZ:

@ by

She stores a photo with a blurred face

@ by

You: No, this is a murder.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №156309
 19.05.2021
Pops are a gathering of offenders. Being none in the distribution system, they are for your blood today, promising warm places in Heaven, but then.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156308
 19.05.2021
There are things that can only happen in Israel.
Dialogue at the central car station between mother and son. She probably carried him. My son is a soldier in shape. It seems to serve no more than half a year. The conversation was in Hebrew. I will try to translate.
Mother :
Did you put everything in your bag?
Yes to Mom.
Shoes and cowards?
Yes, Mom
Additional charge from the phone?
Yes Mom, I took it.
Where is the second "root" from the machine?
In the bag.
Why is it in the bag? Remove and attach to the machine. And hang the machine over your head, not as you wear it on your shoulder. This is the M-16, not the Uzi. and overwhelm. It would be more convenient to shoot...if anything.
Oh well mom.
Not “Numay” to me. Remove the "root" and overweave the machine as appropriate. "My mother cried out with the commander's voice, so that even, I "like" and stood up exactly. My mom knows how to do it right!!! to
And, I don’t doubt for a moment that this mom knows how right!!! to
Stas Volsky

[ + 49 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156307
 19.05.2021
Two motorists are in the cabin of the train, one looking out the window and says:
All you, I’ll go to work.
The Nafiga?? to
Look at them. No matter how we travel, they smoke all the time and do nothing more. The dream job.
Well, said to be done, he retired from work, went on a road trip. There he was given a cuvalda, and he mashed her. The hour, the second, the third, the fourth... At the fifth he says:
When will we smoke, when will we smoke?
When the train goes, we all smoke.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №156306
 19.05.2021
xxx: I recently noticed that there are so many strange sounds in modern music that sometimes you have to reduce the volume to see if everything is okay with the engine or the suspension and whether this noise is spread from there.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №156305
 19.05.2021
I was singing in the church. A bunch of people, all already with candles lit, we are waiting for Daddy.

He appears and looks at everyone. Then he looks up and asks, “Is there anyone there?” Silence in response.

Then I realized that he was looking for a woman who would sing while singing (there was a balcony), but in itself it was symbolic.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №156304
 18.05.2021
Dialogue at the central car station between mother and son. She probably carried him. My son is a soldier in shape. It seems to serve no more than half a year. The conversation was in Hebrew. I will try to translate.

Mother :

Did you put everything in your bag?

Yes to Mom.

Shoes and cowards?

Yes to Mom.

Additional charge from the phone?

Yes Mom, I took it.

Where is the second "root" from the machine?

In the bag.

Why is it in the bag? Remove and attach to the machine. And hang the machine over your head, not as you wear it on your shoulder. This is the M-16, not the Uzi. and overwhelm. It would be more convenient to shoot...if anything.

Oh well mom.

Not “Numay” to me. Remove the "root" and overweave the machine as appropriate. "My mother cried out with the commander's voice, so that even, I "like" and stood up exactly. My mom knows how – right!

And, I don’t doubt for a moment that this mom knows how right!

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156303
 18.05.2021
State Duma of the Russian Federation - an organization unfriendly to the Russian people

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №156302
 18.05.2021
My husband has never seen me painted (I have my black eyelids and eyebrows, enough), maximum vaseline on my lips for gloss. On our wedding day, when I came home from the makeup artist, he didn’t recognize me stupidly.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №156301
 18.05.2021
Matvijenko wants to indicate the purchase price from the manufacturer on the products, saying this will show the price of the seller. The idea is stupid, and I have an alternative, let us indicate his salary and the amount of wealth when the official speaks. To understand why such an idiot is doing us.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №156300
 17.05.2021
How much the retirement age does not increase, and life expectancy dictates its own.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №156299
 17.05.2021
Oh wait! What is it behind you? I asked the shepherd. Valico looked, and his pants were broken, because he came down from the mountain. and said:
Look to the left. What do you see?
“The mountains,” replied the shepherd.
Look to the right, what do you see?
The mountains.
and up.
The Sun.
and down.
The river.
There is so much beauty around, and where do you look?

This is an episode from the movie “Mino”.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №156298
 17.05.2021
I want to remind you of one brilliant startup. You buried potatoes in the ground. You are waiting. In the autumn, the potatoes have grown.

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