If our culture masters less taught us life, they would have much more time left for creativity.

One day I told my friends on April 1 that, say, the Americans were very sleepy: everyone at the entrance to the plane would be forced to blow in the tube, and whoever found a pair of alcohol - will not be allowed. I believed everything! Some were angry because they were going to fly to the United States.

Unfortunately, I don’t have much to do on April 1. I try as I can. Damage and flight of fantasy distinguished me from my childhood. I had a classmate Igor. I admired and appreciated him: he accompanied me, and even one day in the first class, he took from me a dropping bag of milk, which was given to us on the extension, and brought it to my house. After that, I decided to marry him, which scared the family. But all these plans disappeared when we turned eight. Igor came to my house for a visit. Just the first April. I first just wanted to show him the various interesting things I read in Perelman's Interesting Physics. She lubricated the needle with butter and carefully put it in a glass of water. The needle was swimming.

Igor was surprised and asked how it was. The first movement of the soul was to tell him about the surface tension, even though I myself had not yet understood it well. But then my true essence took over, and I began to lie inspired.
- You know, my dad works in a secret laboratory, they are given special needle oil for testing. They are soaked with needles, they do not drown. They want to change the composition a little so that the iron ship can be soaked, and it did not sink either!

Igor believed, told in school and at home about the latest developments. My excuses for April 1st were not taken into account. Very offended. I had to look for other men. It would be a good party!

Rosstat a reduction in poverty by increasing mortality.

In 2012, I bought my child the first cell phone, that would go to 1st class with a cell phone and was on the communication. A few months later, the collectors began to call. Looking for a Larissa. He explained, wrote letters to the collector’s office, the cellular operator and the sportlot. Everything is useless. Called 5-10 times a day.

...

It has been 9 years and the debt is all sold and the next collectors are not there and will call, but not so intensely. 2-3 times a month. The biggest break was when I said I know where Larisa works and gave the address of the LDPR Department in Labytang.

However, there is a small plus in this story.

The child most often does not receive calls from unknown numbers. If you take it no longer scares when from an unknown number scream or threaten or require to name an address, surname or something else.

Grow excellent immunity to phone spammers and divorces.

I was driving with a taxi driver this morning, the mood is great, and he has such a nice smell of baths in the cabin, like pine pines, resin, oak!

I say to him, “You have such a good smell of bathroom.”

He kept silent and replied, “This is my garage burned.”

Go ahead silently.

In the university we had a variety of lecturers and lecturers. Just watching a person could make life easier for themselves at the exam.

One of the lecturers was a guy, 30, call him Petro Ivanovich (PI). He is not a boy, but already at this age defended the doctorate!

So, over the course of the semester I concluded for myself that this person loves order and punctuality, even the tiny pieces laying on the table in some order 😂 Some professors wiped the board with a sleeve or the bottom of the jacket and drew lines as needed. No line - take a chair and draw a straight with the help of a chair. What nonsense am I writing? Is it easier to paint by hand? ! to It may be easier, but why did one of our lecturers use a chair as a lineup? So is so. The contrast between people is noticeable.

Here is the exam. Pi comes with a lot of tickets. I value the quality of the paper. It looks like the tickets are fresh, printed and cut before the exam. Maybe it seemed. And it does not matter. Next, I bet on the fact that the tickets in the stack are ordered: the last from above, the first from below. If this is not the case, then you will have to buy a ticket.

The whole audience is sitting, the lecturer decomposing the tickets, and I look and try to see where he puts the 4th ticket (which I knew well). Then I go and get my ticket, yes.

I have a fourth ticket :D

I came to the address, went up to the floor, I ring the door, a man opens, I give the bag and check, I say to pay by check.

The man turns around and cries, “Ola, you ordered some shit again. A woman comes out and they get into a mess, as if I wasn’t there. That only in this dispute is not, they remember everything they can, insult each other. Then the woman went into the room, and the man followed her with screams. I was at the door, I was forgotten. In general, I waited for 15 minutes until they stopped screaming and remembered me. Suddenly everything smelt, the man comes out and says, “Sorry, boy, we are sitting in the apartments at a distance. Tired of each other. There was a reason to argue, the couple wanted to release. Thanks for your patience.” I paid for the order, and the teas gave :)

I had to work in one company. The working schedule was strictly stipulated. How much to eat, how much to eat, and so on. And it would only be suitable for workers on the conveyor and assembly workshops. But also for different workers.

And there was a fool among the bosses who loved to punish for it. I also received a fine. I smoked not on schedule. To my explanation that ten minutes ago, when it was my "smoking" time, I was engaged in shipping the goods to the buyer, he didn't care.

very well. I started stopping unloading/loading if I had a break on schedule. It came to the owner. How is it that the customer has come to pick up the goods for several million, and Skoffin, having not loaded the last pallet, stumbles the loader, takes the keys and goes for half an hour to lunch? In response, I pointed to the schedule and explained that once I was already fined for violating it. No need a second time.

I don't know what they were talking about there (the owner and the fool), but after a while the director approached me and said that from now on I am directly subject to the head of the warehouses, and I can't care about the fool. As for breaks, it is all in my opinion, the main condition is that loading / unloading goes without stopping.

A wise ruler develops the country’s economy.

A cowardly dictator is propaganda and repression.

I have a good companion, let’s say Miron, now a young man. He is a childhood disabled - polio, walks with great difficulty, relying on a rod, but the saturation of the biography is enough for ten healthy and still remains. I will try to tell one of his stories.

He then lived in Makievka, worked in the mine. Not in the mine, of course, but in the mine management. They had money, had good friends, had a fun company, often drank together. Friends went to the crawl, and Miron with them, of all the exercises he could only snatch the rod lying, this was what he did. Once I heard that there would be a world powerlifting championship among disabled people in Hungary, just lying on the floor, and I thought what if not to go there. Further from his face, for minor inaccuracies, please do not pin, I did not turn on the dictionary, tell me how I remembered.

“We had to start the Ukrainian tournament. Last month, I did not exercise at all. Coming to the medical unit for a certificate, the mesister says: you have high pressure, not for loads. I: Okay, I will not be stressed, yes, completely, that is, halfway, just to get to the World Cup. I come, and there all the guys do not read me, former athletes, disabled became after injury - amputation or a vertebral fracture, but still the catches are the ones. I dropped 120 kilos, nothing at all. Normal weight starts at 160. I went to the coach and said:
Take me when I get to Europe. A month before the championship, I will be training, I promise to bring a medal.
He looked at it with doubt, but said:
“You don’t have a budget, but if you find $400, go for your own. There is a seat in the bus, half a squad. Well, that is, five stitches, two working legs on all. And in your weight category we have none, the rest are all lightweight.

Well, I scratched 400 bucks and came to Budapest. They all stayed together in a hotel, ate together, and I was a mansion. I came to the gym late, lightweights already started to compete. I see that in my category up to 100 kg three participants registered, and in the next over 100 - only one German.

I think: you have to get into 100+, then the silver medal is guaranteed. He weighed 98 kg with pennies. I went to the buffet, took two liters of juice, I remember, they only had cherry. Two liters of beer would be poured into yourself without problems, but beer is not possible, doping control. Pip-drinked this juice, some of it drank. Another coin in the socks was pushed and weighed. 100 kg and 100 grams.

The German in the first attempt ordered 130 kg, and I - 115, to be sure to take, then the medal and points to the team in the team count. He saw that I was so weak and said the second weight was 140. I’m also 140, it’s my personal record, but if I take it, I’m ahead because I’m lighter. He takes easy, and I am at the limit of strength. There are strict rules, the bar should go strictly horizontally, you cannot wait. It happened, I counted.

There is a third attempt. I have a chance if he orders a lot of weight and doesn’t take it. But he is a German, accuratist, ordering a minimum of 142.5, to be sure. And he is wrong, the stick went wrong, he did not count the attempt. All in all, I became a champion. The coach rushes to embrace me: no one else in the Ukrainian team took gold, I brought the most points. In the team rankings, Ukraine shares 3-4 place out of 12 countries. Later, I was fed with the team, and I did not go back to the end of the bus by the mansion, but with all the boys."

Then Miron began to exercise seriously, pushed out 180 kg and more, won a few more medals and even went to the Paralympics. There, indeed, did not shine, but there is also a story about it, I will tell you if you like this one.

Patriarch Kirill vaccinated against the coronavirus. Ordinary methods don’t help anymore.)

Once arranged for one job, and there was a cowardly colleague. I sat opposite each other in the office, and I noticed that he often looked at me with one eye because of the comp. It was not in itself a pipet, but somehow loudly to say, absolutely unfamiliar people were. And so it lasted for a while until I went somehow to drink a beer with another colleague and told him the story about these strange things with contemplations. On what a colleague stunned and says that it is not a strabismus, but an eye prothesis, and he does not actually see them.

What is the difference between the Soviet and modern system?
Those who now burn the country’s budget, in the old days, would burn the forest.

In the mid-1960s, wooden houses were demolished in the district of Parglovo in Leningrad, freeing space for new residential construction. In the courtyard of the displaced house, the workers found a surprising object - a grave, over which a obelisk with a attached photo was raised. From the photo looked a dog with large intelligent eyes - a mixture of the "dvorterier" with a racer. The signature read: "To Dear Friend Treasurer (1939 - 1945) of the rescued ones.” It was clear that the monument was somehow connected with the events of the blockade, and did not take it down, and through the passport table began to look for former residents of the house.

A week later, a gray man came to the yard and carefully took a photograph of the dog from the obelisk. He said to his builders:

This is our treasury! He saved us and our children from hunger. I will hang his photo in a new apartment.

The man told an amazing story.

In the autumn of 1941, the outskirts of the northern areas of the city relatively little suffered from shelling and bombing, the main strikes of the Germans were on the central part of Leningrad. But hunger came here, including a wooden house for four families, each of which had children.

The common favourite of the court was Treasury - a playful and sensible dog. But one October morning there was nothing to pour into the dog’s bowl, except water. The dog stood, I think. and disappeared. The residents breathed with relief - there is no need to look into the hungry dog's eyes. But the treasury did not disappear. By lunch he returned home, carrying a rabbit caught in his teeth. It was enough for lunch for all four families. Trebucha, legs and head were given to the main predator.

Since then, the Treasury has started bringing rabbits almost daily. The suburban fields of the desolate Soviet farms were filled with unharvested crops - in September the front approached the city. Cabbage, carrots, potatoes, beets remained in the pit. The rabbits are divided. They have grown up a lot.

In the families of the courtyard regularly cooked broths of rabbit. Women learned to sew warm winter sweaters from skins, exchanged them for non-smoking tobacco, and exchanged tobacco for food.

Treasury hunting expeditions suggested another rescue route: children with saucers walked on snow-filled fields and excavated potatoes, cabbage, beets. Let them be frozen, but foods.

No one died in this house during the blockade. On the New Year's Eve on December 31, children even installed a tree tree, and on the branches together with toys were hanging real chocolate candy, which were exchanged from the army rearmen for a rabbit caught by the Treasurer.

They survived the blockade. Already after the Victory, in June 1945, the Treasury, as usual, went to hunt in the morning. After an hour, he came to the yard, leaving a bloody trace. He exploded in a mine. The smart dog, apparently, felt something, had time to jump back, so he did not die immediately. He died in his hometown.

The inhabitants of the house cried over him, like over a loved one who left his life. He was buried in the courtyard and a monument was erected. When they moved to a new home, they forgot about it.

The man asked the builders:

If you can, don’t build the treasure tomb. Put the el at this place. Let the kids have a tree in the winter. As then, on December 31, 1941. In memory of the treasury.

The inhabitants of the high-rise new building are already accustomed to the fact that a large beautiful tree grows near one of the entrances. And not many know that it is planted in memory of the blocked dog. She saved 16 Leningraders from starvation.

Alexander Smirnov

by St. Petersburg

The Russians in the corridor are planted separately because we are sick for the bull, not the matador.

Eight years ago, we had a furry cat, named Musya. The name of the cat was given by the daughter, the cat was deeply poffed on the name. And the cat is no longer that, but the story alone I remember strongly.

Moussa liked to sleep in the refrigerator that stood in the hallway. And he liked to eat at night, for which he jumped out of the refrigerator and, cuddling his nails, went to the kitchen.

That day I went to bed a little later than usual, like watching a movie, I don’t remember. And here, I lie down, dive into sleep, gradually fall asleep. I hear the noisy newspapers on the refrigerator, the light sound of the cat’s legs hitting the floor, the cuddling of the nails, the sound of which typically changes along the way to the kitchen. I think I had to eat again at night. Here the dream disappears. And this is why: for a couple of months in the summer, my wife, daughter and cat went to the village and there is no living soul in the apartment besides me.

To say that the dream flew away from me in an instant is to say nothing. I woke up immediately and was covered by the cold afterwards. A silence surrounded by the beating of my heart.

I am an intelligent adult with a physical and mathematical mindset. I don't believe in any mysticism, I was loudly outraged in my head.

I dreamed of all this! I continued, nervously pressing my fingers, trying not to move under the sweat-moist blanket.

“Well, no one,” I will say when I go into the kitchen and turn on the light, “I rehearsed a speech and laughed humbly.

It lasted 120 to 240 seconds. I did not count.

Then he got up. Turn on the light. Turn on the light in the hallway. I walked into the kitchen, switching on the lights. He nodded his head, spared his dignity and did not laugh at himself.

There was nobody. No cat, no domestic, no foreign gremlins, nothing.

He slept again. Since he was no longer asleep, he turned on the phone a book and began to read, sometimes listening to the silence of the night.

Yesterday, the excellent weather in St. Petersburg drove us out of the house for a walk along the shore. A couple of young and happy people decided to use self-catchering. The girl tried to remove a heavy car from her leg, but she didn't, she looked at her companion with hope, and the winged one, helped her in this struggle.Later the girl could not come down from the brow, our hero came to help again...I was irritated - the girl caused the impression of some handless disruption. I shared this with my wife, and she replied that the girl probably did it specifically to make her companion feel like a hero.

I remembered myself in those years... Oh, where were you when you were young?

The soul requires the continuation of the banquet, but the body must pay.

On the neighboring street in a small courtyard, a shale under the open sky, on the curtain a sign: "Delicious shale." Two tables under the tent. There is no one in the shale, only a young Armenian stands at the mangal.
“Come, dear, look, the prices are here, the shale is all kinds of.
I look at prices. The Armenian stared at me.
Why are you so sad?
and nothing. Everything is OK, thank you.
My wife is in trouble, right?
not married.
I mean, with a girl. Wife, bride, girlfriend – what’s the difference? I look in the eyes. Worried eyes are a problem with money. Tired eyes are a problem at work. Sad eyes are a woman’s problem.

What if I was wearing dark glasses?

I have an eye problem, yes. In such a dark day, what dark glasses, dear?

He laughs. The right tooth is missing.

Take a pork, my dear. Baraka would have suggested, but the baraka has seen a lot in this life. Don’t take a barrel, take a pig, don’t think.

Give me a pig. Is there onion?

Is it like without onions? I put more. Here is a good strawberries, look: one meat, no strawberries, soft - would eat, but money is needed.

I approve of. The Armenian hides the bills in the pockets of the fork and puts the shale on the mangal.

“Don’t be upset about the girl,” he says. You have to be happy about the girl.

On a single-use plate he puts a bowl of marinated onions, presses ketchup from a bottle next to him, and himself explains at this time the thought:

Do you know what my grandfather said? Women are like a field. If you plant little, it will grow little. If you sow a lot, it will grow a lot. Nothing grew – maybe nothing sowed?

I sat, I said.

A lot of seeds? The voice is pretended to be harsh.

Good thing, I regret it.

So the field is just stones, says the Armenian. Every good thing should come back to man. Do you love her? Do you give gifts, say words, do help? I am waiting for my kiwi. And what is she?

I shake my shoulders.

It’s all wrong, he shakes his hand. “Look, you came to me, you gave me money, I’m making you a shale. An honest exchange, right? If I take money and I don’t make a scam, what kind of scammer am I? Will you give me money again?

That is money, I say. Money is not the main thing in relationships.

So I didn’t promise you to give birth to an inheritor, only to make a shale! Armenians shake their hands. Who is talking about money? Money is nonsense! So, there’s something to buy! I am talking about you. You give yourself. What do you get back?

Relationships are a little more complicated than with a shuffle.

Nothing is more complicated. You think, “People are complex, people are different.” Psychology and approach. It has to be simple with people. I gave a lot, I got a lot. If you give and don’t get, why give again?

What if otherwise?

The Armenian turns the shampoo on the mangal.

If you walk in a shoe and the shoe is shaking, what does it mean? The size is not yours. The shoe is not yours. Take, put beyond the threshold - whoever fits, will take, thank you will say. You will buy another shoe, right? If a woman doesn’t love you, what does it mean?

At the threshold?

Why the threshold? A man can’t be over the threshold, it’s not a shoe. You get up, you go away, you look in the mirror, dear?

It happens.

You go out and see a lot of women.

of course.

You see yourself in the mirror, yes. You are alone and there are many women around you. I have to find my own. Look, he is on the street, he is. Come and ask – suddenly yours?

I will smile. The Armenian man straight up and strikes the girl’s hand:

The girl! The girl! Come and meet the young man. Shakes at the institution!

The girl on the move shows him the middle finger. The Armenian nodded his head, laughing said:

An uncultured girl. Do not need such.

No need of any.

and e! I'll tell you like a shale: you can live a whole life without a shale, and nothing will happen. Without a woman cannot.

Remove the shampoo from the mangal and put it on a plate.

But don’t give up on the shake as well. In a couple of days, the barrel will be fresh - you will lick your fingers, enter. What a good shit, I will always tell you. You will find a good woman. Be careful, it is hot! A pleasant appetite.

Here’s where else could I get a psychotherapy session at the price of a shale, plus a free shale? The pork is soft, no veins, one meat, and a lot of onions.

I go after tomorrow.

But tomorrow the general course in the country will change dramatically, and the same people from the same stands and screens with the same passion and conviction will sing completely different songs tomorrow.