bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126198
 31.03.2016
What are your parents like?? to
I was thin like a stick and ate small snacks all my childhood and I was never forced and always discussed WHAT to cook? Now I am the mother of two happy and healthy schoolchildren and every day I ask "what do you cook"? What is the problem of replacing unloved strawberries with omelets, cheeses, snacks... They want pizza for dinner, that is, pizza, they want baked meat or homemade fried potatoes, so yes. I make sushi better than I ordered.
And when all the values are freely available and on order, they want less and less, and more and more often it sounds like: a cocktail of those delicate chickens, and a teflon in your delicious sauce, and your branded baking with sweets...
Learn to cook deliciously and your family will be happy!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №126197
 31.03.2016
I listen to how people communicate with children 2-5 years old. You know, even my two-year-old cat understands the basic phrases in a human way, why do you talk to children like degenerates? They, unlike cats, have to talk humanly. No, you should understand their simplified attempts to talk, but why switch to this abracadabra?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126196
 31.03.2016
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh my fucking! I always knew it! What happened if not a secret?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №126195
 31.03.2016
Just a good Uncle Yandex threw up the advertisement.
A patriotic collection of smartphones. Gold and Titan. from 90 kilograms.
I see it as a profitable business, professional patriotism.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №126194
 31.03.2016
I like this story, in short.

“Mom, I don’t want an egg again today,” Masha said. "I have eaten eggs yesterday!"
“Well, what I’ve eaten yesterday!” said my mom, not stopping reading. "Eggs are very useful for you. Clean up now and eat it all!"
Masha insulted her nose, but she listened to her mother. However, soon she
He voted again.
“Mom, I don’t like this egg. It is not very delicious!"
“Delicious, delicious,” Mother firmly objected, still immersed in the summaries of important news. "Eat now and now!"
Again, a long silence, interrupted occasionally by silenced machine whispers and throats. And again :
“Mom, I’ve eaten almost everything. Could I not do it anymore?"
"Masha, why should I repeat to you? I said I needed.
You are doing it!"
"Well, ma-ama" - here Machine's voice broke to cry, - "Well, I can't eat these cloves and legs???and "

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126193
 31.03.2016
The cat dropped the curtain in the bathroom along with the curtain. Tonight I showed this shame to my husband.
Cat Man: So why?
I wanted to go up to the curtain.
Husband: And how? Has it succeeded?
The curtain went down by itself.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №126192
 31.03.2016
XXX is fucking
XXX: The Forest Report
xxx: see sql exception lies
XXX: Sitting in and falling

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126191
 31.03.2016
According to statistics, men in the U.S. have a penis length of 3 mm longer than men in Russia.
YYY: Is it without Negroes?
XXX: No, no blacks by 3 cm less.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126190
 31.03.2016
If you’re so smart, why don’t you build?
He was not in the army and was probably a pregnant disabled.
Well, give the concept of the "man", so that on the topic of feeding children.
carefully avoid the terms "young", "organism" and their synonyms, so as not to be likened.
At the same time, tell us about the mentality of the collectors of Soviets" - what they are going to jump all over, and most importantly - where.
— — —
I'm a Russian :) I just still have no sense of my own dignity atrophized.
As for feeding children with cereals: one of the very good ways is to cook delicious cereals (you will be surprised, but not all mothers know how to cook delicious food), and ideally - eat this cereal with the child, sitting with him at the same table. Talking to the child and explaining to him what the use of cabbage is also a good idea. Let him sit for a week ONLY on the food that he thinks is delicious, and then ask about his impressions - by the way, it's generally about giving the child to fill the knots and be responsible for the consequences: it's much more useful than just banning. Just you treat the child either as a “spin-grizzly” or as a person. In the first case, I do not understand why then generally give birth to children - to self-affirm at their expense, right?

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126189
 31.03.2016
The official even believes in God for the government’s account.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №126188
 31.03.2016
I go to the country, I don't touch anyone, I have seen the villages road, I haven't seen the goats rebirthing there, and here with flashes they catch up, cut off, forced with a rod through an open window to stop, I think what a hernia. I stopped, and what to do, I think I was in this ass of the world where there was no way to break.
You have forgotten the seeds!
...??? to
But it is true that in addition to the tank, a few canisters were used, the seedlings interfered with getting them, and forgot to put them back, so near the column and remained. There from the gas station either on the track further, or to the village turn, probably a gas worker told them that I turned to the village, they were 11 km behind me to get the seedlings back, it happens)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126187
 31.03.2016
I went to one classroom while the classmates were still nothing...Now there is no point :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126186
 31.03.2016
I write a diploma. Parallelly, I think how to convince the commission that my diploma is not only a rollon to pour, but a fire can be lit, and in general it can be useful in the farm. T_T

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126185
 31.03.2016
Armstrong's five copies: last year on Easter, I left the house and was stunned, on the street, I heard the "Dubinushka, smell" in a good choral performance, though, without musical accompaniment. It turns out that local alkashi are singing on the bench. He stood and listened.

[ + 25 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126184
 31.03.2016
In the topic of "pol".
Help those who don’t remember.
We were taught in school the following: "Before "l" and before the vocal, before the wording letter "pol" - a particle, it is clear, separate it by a line".

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126183
 31.03.2016
As a child, she was deported to the village to her father-in-law. Food there is disgusting by default (if advertisers knew how REALLY natural milk from a cow smells shit, they would not be quite delicious to advertise a store with the slogan of "village"), plus they are still roasted on the salad up to the sweet blend and everything cooked still smells like garlic. There is no normal store closer to the city - everyone has a natural farm, all business, only buy bread. Naturally, eatable without nausea in the process and without diarrhea subsequently were, in addition to the purchased bread, only raw vegetables and a little fruit (they are almost not grown). And, of course, in the many rural families, it is not customary to "blow down" - I was broken as much as I could. Once the aunt even, stating that allegedly because of me the other children are worse eating steel, urticaria fought, and about locking up in the barbecue with a plate of mesothane cooking "as long as you do not eat" nothing to say. So I speak with the knowledge of the case - not only three days, but also several weeks of the absence of normal food to the ruthless eating of the shit of the child is not inclined.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126182
 31.03.2016
From the Moscow City Forum:

How early children have grown up!! to
Yesterday I took a child from the YASELNA group of kindergartens and on the door hangs this announcement about parental gathering.

YYY: This is a conversation about parents. At the meeting, the head of the house asked in the form of drunk for the children in the garden not to come and not to beat them in the area of the garden.

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126181
 31.03.2016
From the point of view of the onanist, it is much better to be an eight-faced semihue than a seven-faced eight-faced semihue.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126180
 31.03.2016
Morality: Eat what you like, do not eat what you do not like and recognize the same right for others. Peace, friendship and Charlotte! (c) the

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126179
 31.03.2016
Starix
– is
Yes is. Please tell me, and the Chinese have not yet learned to make robot vacuum cleaners with the construction of a map of the cleaned territory (by the type of Neato)? Or are they still taking care of the walls and going as they went?
0 is
Alexander Sergeevich
– is
And the plan is drawn in the SADe, and the documents are submitted to Rosreestr and put on the cadastral record!!! to

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